Readers' Submissions

Farang Keeneeow’s Adventures In Thailand

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 20th, 2005
  • 8 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Farang KeeNeeow's First Time In Thailand


Let me start by saying that, as most people who read your excellent site, I love Thailand! The people, the food (even though it gets a bit boring after a few days in a row), the weather, the landscape…everything is fantastic!

Who am I? A 30-year old, cheerful and handsome (not only in Thailand haha) lad with a well-paid job in real estate. Those who expect a story about a first-timer's visits to Soi Cowboy or the Patpong can skip this submission, as I did have a look there out of curiosity but never engaged in the services.

Main reason for this is that I am always amazed how DAMN easy it is in Thailand to get a beautiful girl and I am talking about non-BG's here. Hell, you can walk into Starbucks, a market, a department store, the airport…basically anywhere you can get in touch with a lovely lady. I’m just trying to imagine what would happen if I went to a department store over here and invited a girl for diner. I am not completely sure about the result but it sure as hell would not be a sweet smile and a telephone number.

Back to my story…before my first trip to Thailand I really did not know what to expect. Frankly speaking, Thailand never appealed that much to me before I went to LOS. My first visit was sheer coincidence, as I was on my way to Australia for a holiday in October 2001 and we made a stop-over in Bangkok.

At the airport in Bangkok I only had the time for a quick tour around the shops, which was not too exciting. When I was on my way back to the plane I got hassled by a fat security woman because I had a small scissors-case in my hand luggage (remember, just one month after 09/11), which was removed. She gave me a receipt, stating that I could pick it up in Adelaide again. No great first experience…

Anyway, when I flew back to Europe there was another stop-over in Bangkok and this time there was a 3-hour delay, which gave me some more time to look around the airport in the middle of the night. It was still not too exciting, but I was genuinely touched by the friendliness of the people and the fact that everything was still open (try buying something at a European airport at 2 a.m.). So I decided on the spot: this will be my next holiday destination!

In 2002 I did what I pledged to myself and flew to Bangkok. I had booked a hotel in advance to avoid the hassle of looking for a hotel upon arrival. After I arrived in the hotel I took a shower and checked out the neighbourhood. To my surprise, I found out that the infamous Patpong was right opposite my hotel (for those of you guessing: I stayed at the Tawana Ramada hotel). Good fun to have a look! (Helloooooooo…where you goooo?!)

After two days in Bangkok I headed north to Chiang Mai, with a few stops on the way. It was in one of the stops on the way that I met my first Thai girlfriend. She worked in a tourist attraction in that town and I happened to be the only farang person there that day. Actually, I had not noticed her at the entrance but she followed me with a friend and once inside they introduced themselves and offered to be my guide. Hmmmmm…a local guide who could speak English! And cute too! How could I refuse such an offer? 😉 (her male friend is irrelevant in this picture)

After the tour we sat down for a while and I invited her and her friend for dinner. I intended to travel onward to Chiang Mai by night train that night and was only supposed to stay in the town for a few more hours. So I said goodbye after dinner and waited on the platform, but all of a sudden I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder and there she was again, handing me her mobile phone number “in case I would get lonely in Thailand”. Nice one! Positively surprised by this offer I decided to stay one more day, as she said she would take me to her college the next day. I slept in a hotel (alone) close to her college and the next morning she waited for me at the reception of the hotel and took me to college. On the college campus my jaw dropped about two metres…there were literally tons of pretty girls dressed in black skirts and white blouses and more than a few looked at me and smiled. Hell, what had I been doing in Europe all these years?

We had breakfast in the canteen on the campus (lesson number one for Mr. first-time farang: most Thai do not eat bread in the morning) and afterwards we went to her class. In the classroom a similar scene unfolded: many pretty girls who were all more than interested to talk to me!

After class we met up in the afternoon and then she confessed that she liked me very much and very much wanted me to stay, upon which I decided to stay one more day before I would continue to Chiang Mai.

While I was changing my reservation for the night train for the second time, the guy at the station said this really was the last time and no further changes would be accepted haha

That day we kissed (she was very shy and had never had a boyfriend before) and then we were like boyfriend and girlfriend…I really felt like I was 15 again. The next morning she brought me breakfast in the hotel (again, she did not sleep with me) and sat next to me on the bed, saying “I love you!”. This was actually a bit too much for me; after all, how well did we know each other? So I politely explained to her that in my opinion it was too early for the L-word, upon which she started to cry her heart out (in retrospective very recognisable after reading a lot of stories on Stick’s website).

It worked, though: I said to her I would go to Chiang Mai for three days and return afterwards to spend the rest of my 2 remaining weeks with her. So much for my island-hopping in the south!

After my return from Chiang Mai we did spend the rest of the time together and had a good time, but I already could sense a cultural gap which was way too wide to bridge. As an interesting side-note, during our many conversations she told me about her cute-looking classmates and many skeletons came out of the Thai closet…I heard stories about abortions, girls who strung along 4 guys who paid them money and lots more. And we are talking about 21-22 year old college girls here!

Fast forward…we did keep in touch after my return to Europe and a few months later I went to see her again in Thailand, just to know how if the feeling was still there. Initially, all went well, until she took me to her parents’ house. I had been to the houses of one or two of her friends during my first trip, but they lived in the town itself, while my girl’s parents were farmers living outside the town.

Just when I thought I was prepared for anything I saw the house and her parents’ dirt poor living conditions and to be honest, dear readers, it was more than I could handle! Don’t get me wrong; I love adventure and do not get upset by dragging through the mud or taking a shower in a spider and gecko infested shed. It was more the entire context of her being my girlfriend and her parents being my possible parents-in-law that upset me. Being from a very decent upper-middle class family myself I could sense sooner or later things would go wrong as we were simply worlds apart.

And they went wrong…the third time I came to see her it did not feel that special anymore and I noticed I was more interested in other Thai lovelies than in her. She, in return, noticed my lack of interest. Bt that time she had a summer job at a western company and met a western manager there who already started to send her "I love you"-messages when I was still in Thailand. She showed them to me but never mentioned to me who sent them. Possibly, it was her way of saying: you pay attention to me or I’m gone!

After a not too exciting holiday I returned home and about one month later I received an e-mail saying that she was with someone else; to me it was "thank you and off you go!". To be honest, I was a bit shocked about her coldness. After reading some submissions on Stick’s site I know it is not uncommon but at that time it was hard for me to match her initial sweetness with her utter coldness at the moment she dumped me.

A funny side-note is that a friend of hers mailed me after I had been dumped and told me a few details my ex never told me: she wrote my ex had been dating the other guy for a while and that my ex told everyone that I was a farang kee neeow <cheap ass farangStick>. And, by the way, her friend wrote that she liked me very much too and now that I was free would I be interested in being her boyfriend and send her money for her tuition fee? Hahaha…unbelievable!

Moral of the story: Treat your Thai girl right, otherwise she will move on quickly! As for me, there is no bitterness nor grief in this story as the country and the people fascinate me and I love going to Thailand for a holiday, but for a holiday only. To be honest, I am glad the other guy came (Thanks mate! (I think I remember he was Australian)) and spared me the difficult task of dumping her. Until next time Thailand, just two more weeks!

Stickman's thoughts:

Nice story. Yeah, they can go a bit "funny" when things go bad.