Stickman Readers' Submissions January 17th, 2005

Do Thai Girls Have Boyfriends?

I always wanted to check out Thailand for three reasons: I love to travel, I love the sea, and I love women. The economy in the USA has been the pits for years especially if you’re a computer professional like me. So when I saw an ad for an English
teaching position in Thailand I figured that since opportunities were limited back in the states, why not take a break and check out Thailand? The position paid 30,000 baht for what is now just 12 hours of work a week, so I figured I’d
have time to see the country and work on a business plan. If I like it enough in Thailand, I could start a business at the end of my contract.

Well my year is almost up, I’ve got my business plan finished, beta version website and talking to some possible investors back in the US. I will probably stay but there’s one question I find myself asking very often: do any
Thai girls have boyfriends? Of course I know the true answer to this question but the answer I get when I ask Thai girls is almost always no. I’ve met Thai women who say they are married but I can’t remember the last time that I
met a Thai woman who admitted to having a boyfriend.

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Let me say a bit about myself. I’m 32 and told I look younger. I’m a life long athlete. I compete in kickboxing and until I came to Thailand, I still played cornerback and free safety on an American semipro football team. I’ve
traveled. I have a good education and speak the three most widely used (geographically) languages in the world. I did some modeling in my younger years, so I guess I have above average looks. I never have problems getting girls back in America.
And of course, I make more money than most Thai men and can provide a way to see America and many other places they’ll probably never see. All in all, the girls here seem to think I’m a catch.

Even girls who I know have boyfriends (and who know I know) say they don’t have boyfriends.

Let me give some examples.

Niece and Auntie: Auntie is in her early 30’s and owns a local café. Her niece, Niece, works for her and is 18 or 19. Whenever I go to their café, they both flirt with me and get very touchy/feely. Niece has a Thai boyfriend
who stops by the shop sometimes. When he comes, she leaves my table to sit with him. She doesn’t look at me when he’s watching but when he turns away she keeps glancing at me. She said she wanted to spend Loy Kratung festival with
me. When I go dancing with friends, she always wants to come- without boyfriend. When I ask her about her boyfriend, she just laughs it off and says she doesn’t have a boyfriend.

Last month I didn’t see Auntie at the tea house for a week. I was waiting for a train from Bangkok when I saw her sitting with a Thai man waiting for the train. I said hello and gave them their space. It was obvious by their body language,
especially BEFORE they saw me, that they were more than friends. I asked her about him when I got back and she said he wasn’t her boyfriend. I asked if he was her Teeruk, Gig, etc. “No, no! I no have!” she said. When I jokingly
asked Auntie what she wanted for Christmas, she said she wanted to kiss me. She asked me why not and I answered honestly that I like girls in their early 20’s. She wasn’t happy with that answer.

Department Store Girl: There’s a department store girl who is smoking hot. I’ve seen her out on the town with her boyfriend. I’ve seen him pick her up from work. I’ve seen the way he looks at me when I say hello
or even glance at her. She chats with me whenever I see her in the store but never when her boyfriend is around. One day I mentioned that if she didn’t have a boyfriend I’d ask her out.

“No! I no have boyfriend!” she says.
“Who is he?” I ask.
She glances at a co-worker then says to me “He’s my brother.”
Yeah, right.

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School Girls: I have this strange quality. Well, strange in Thailand at least. I do my best to be honest at all times and this has caused me some problems in Thailand. For example, when 50 year old Thai English teachers (who of course don’t
actually speak English but can correct grammar) ask me if they or their colleagues are beautiful, I give an awkward smile and retreat or change the subject. Honest to a fault.

I teach Matayom 3, 4, 5 and 6. 15 to 18 year olds. From the day I arrived at my school I have been asked repeatedly if I have a girlfriend. No. A girlfriend in America. No. I get this question over and over and I answer it honestly. They
ask why and I answer. They seem to like it when I say that if I had a girlfriend I would have stayed in America or brought her with me to Thailand. They also see me playing basketball with the boys and helping coach the team. They’ve seen
me play at local tournaments. They see me in the gym bench pressing 100 kilos. They see me swimming laps faster than any Thai at the school pool. They don’t see me as a regular teacher.

Whenever the subject of boyfriends comes up, none of these girls have boyfriends. I know these kids and I know who the couples are. I’ll say “I know who your boyfriend is, it’s so and so in my other class” The
other girls will always say “Yes, she does but I don’t”. These kids are pretty open to me and we talk about a lot of stuff. For the 12 hours I spend teaching, I probably spend just as much time outside of class chatting with
students. Much more fun and educational than class because these are the kids who really want to learn English. When I go on vacations, they always tell me they want me take them with me. They wink at me and blow kisses in class. I tell them they’re
too young and what about their boyfriends. They always reply “I have no boyfriend!”

Crazy Chick:
When I first met crazy chick, she didn’t act crazy. I was new in town and had no friends. She was young and had lots of cute, fun friends. I never wanted to date her, just be friends (her friends are cute, she isn’t).
When she would drink, she’d start trying to feel me. She started getting bolder and would try to feel me when she wasn’t drinking. After one night out with her and her friends, she tried to kiss me. I pushed her away and walked home.
I was fed up with this so I ended that friendship. She started calling me every night I stopped answering my phone), leaving flowers at my hotel, having her friends find me and give me notes. All this from a girl who said she had no boyfriend.
One night she called my room and I said I was about to leave. One minute later I heard the elevator reach my floor. I turned off the TV, my lights, AC, everything. She proceeded to bang on my door for 15 minutes. She even tried to break into the
room. I watched all this thru the peep hole. There’s a lot more to this and I might write an entire submission on this chick another time. Finally she had a friend of hers from Phuket call me. The friend was one of the most rational Thais
I’ve ever spoken with. I never received any calls from Crazy Chick after that. Actually, I received one a few weeks later. She told me she was with her fiancée of several years in Hat Yai and that he had told he was gay. She was drunk
and wanted to come see me. I said no and that was that. Later a Thai friend told me this same unattractive Thai girl nearly cost a friend his marriage and I heard from another person that her and the fiancée are back together again and still
plan to get married.

Well those are just some of the many Thai girls with boyfriends who say they don’t have boyfriends. The only time they seem to admit to it is when I am with a group on a date and my date makes a point of pointing out that the other
pretty girls have boyfriends. Still, many of these girls will say “No, I not have boyfriend!” but if they are close friends with the girl I’m with they’ll usually admit to having a boyfriend.

After I finished writing this piece, I started to think about the recent writings of Stick and some others about other men hitting on their wives. Maybe this stems from Thai women seeming to be available when they see fit, whether or not
they happen to be in a relationship. For those of you who happen to be with the good girls, maybe you should be glad that they’re complaining about this problem because if they’re not complaining about it maybe…

Well that was my first submission. Like many readers I decided to finally write about my Thai experiences. If you like it, I’ll write more. I’m a young guy far from Bangkok so I have many stories that are a bit different than
most of what I read here.

Stickman's thoughts:

Young Thais might admit to boyfriend or girlfriend and it is usually acknowledged as what us Westerners would say was puppy love. however, once they get a little older, admitting to a boyfriend or girlfriend in Thailand is coming out a and saying that you intend to marry this person. That is why no-one admits to having someone special!

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