Readers' Submissions

You Don’t Have To Take All That Crap



By Sudah Makan


‘You bastard’ she yelled, as she spat in my friend’s face for the second time in the week: apparently he’d forgotten to tell her how nice she looked in her new, 30 quid hairdo. On the previous occasion when she’d spat at him, his heinous crime was to forget to pick up a loaf of bread on the way home from work!

I’ve known this bloke for over 20 years and he’d do anything for anyone in trouble. He lives in England and married this monster about 18 years ago, having stayed with her purely out of loyalty to his kids but, as they get older, obviously he is wanting to move on with his life. He’s one of the ones who decided to bite the bullet and stick it out with the cow he saddled himself with, at a time when she’d presumably managed to suppress these aspects of her psychotic behaviour. On the other hand, some 40% of marriages in the UK end in acrimonious divorce, something we all know from the well-publicised activities of Fathers for Justice (e.g. climbing onto Buckingham Palace, dressed as Batman) This has resulted in hundreds of thousands of kids in the UK losing contact with their fathers every year. Other fathers see their kids for a couple of hours every other weekend, while themselves living in a one-room hole in the wall and keeping up the mortgage payments on the house, in which the ‘ex-‘ continues to live with the kids. Some ex-wives have even taken to blackmailing the poor bloke, saying they’ll tell the divorce court he sexually abuses the kids, unless he hands over a few thousand quid! On which planet were these monstrous hags spawned?

No doubt, much of the above will mirror experiences that some of us have had over the years. You’re probably also wondering what the hell any of this has to do with Stickman’s website: many of us already know that Thailand is full of delightful, kind, caring ladies who are very, very keen to meet blokes like you, yes even balding, middle-aged farts like you and me! In return for some kindness, affection and respect believe it or not they actually respond with kindness, affection and respect, unlike in Britain where you get a kick in the teeth for being such a bloody wimp. These Thai ladies aren’t just a bunch of money-grabbing tarts, whatever nasty, stereotyped comments the (predominantly female) sanctimonious shits in the UK make about them. What’s more, they’re dead easy to meet: Stickman’s site has lots of good advice about this but you can also meet them in chat rooms, before even leaving the UK. Just give yourself a western-sounding alias and they’ll start the ball rolling. Once you’re in Thailand you can meet up with them and the only problem you’ll have is which one to choose but take your time, as there are some really crafty ones around. Conventional wisdom states that, in order to have a happy relationship with someone of the opposite sex, you need to choose someone with your own cultural background, someone whose age is close to yours and someone with a similar level of educational attainment. That’s all total bullshit! All you have to do is be nice to each other, something that our female compatriots have clearly forgotten but the ladies in Thailand haven’t.

The cost of living in Thailand’s a bloody joke: food costs almost nothing, diesel’s 20p a litre (it’s about 90p in the UK now, isn’t it?) and a large bottle of beer costs 40p in the supermarkets. What’s more, away from Bangkok and the coast, you can get a brand new, fully decorated 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, detached bungalow on a housing estate that has a pool on it for 23,000 quid. Check out some of the pictures on http://www.lh.co.th for example (they’ve only shown the top-of-the range houses on this website but they also have smaller bungalows built in the same style on these housing estates). I just had to pay for my monthly electricity bill today and it came to 8 quid. Five hundred quid a month (or even less) should enable you to live a very pleasant western lifestyle. Stickman’s got a lot more info about this but the cost of living outside Bangkok and the tourist areas is a lot lower. Mind you, that’s partly because there’s less to spend your money on there but flying around Thailand is both easy and cheap, especially with the low-cost airlines that have appeared in the last year. Moving to Thailand won’t be plain sailing but I have yet to meet one of Her Majesty’s subjects who regrets having done so: my two bits of advice are first to make sure you’ve got the funds to do it and second make sure you’re sorted with a Thai girlfriend.

So you really don’t have to take all the crap that British society throws at you, particularly from those overweight, binge-drinking, foul-mouthed hags that masquerade as females over there. The bottom line is, just don’t take all that shit, give yourself the break you deserve and come and live in LOS. My friend in England is already lined up with a Thai lady and his demonic, spitting wife is in for a hell of a surprise in the near future!

OK enough of the sensible advice so here’s a joke:
Q. How does an Englishman know his wife’s dead?
A. Well, the shagging’s the same but the nagging’s stopped!

Stickman's thoughts:

Stories like this are coming in from most countries in the West…