Stickman Readers' Submissions December 9th, 2004

Searching For Miss Goodbar Part 8

Searching for Miss Goodbar, Part 8 (Sawasdee Ka Khun Simon!….)

(aka Ramblings and excerpts from the Butterfly Chronicles)

He Clinic Bangkok

Last week as you may recall, Simon revealed "the truth about his Miss Goodbar" in Part 7, revealing events that took place after his separation from Dan featured now in this article. This would turn out to be the 1st of two such
separations…. We take up the story again now, where Dan and Pia had just 'fought' each other inside Camelot Bar in Part 6 [The Homecoming] In this instalment, we find Simon and Dan immediately after that encounter at Camelot, – they
both really think it will be perhaps their last ever evenings together, – but fate was yet to play another hand….


"With just a few days to go until my flight home with Dan and Pia at each other's throats, I was beginning to have some mixed feelings about my holiday. Sure, Pia had successfully 'muddied' the waters although not intentionally,
and maybe in some way through my own foolishness or weaknesses, but had now effectively "sunk her own battleship" in the process undoubtedly…. Seeing Pia's weaknesses emerge. I had been so focused on Pia initially after her mistaken
identity gambit, whether real or not, it worked, and couldn't see that my real friend was Dan, waiting on the sidelines for her chance it seemed in hindsight.

CBD bangkok

Dan saw her 'chance' as any girl might and suddenly rose as my friend and then fought against Pia on the home battlefields of the dance floor in the only way they knew how, pitting their feminine wiles against each other. Pia surfacing as the
loser this time around, – so too had Dan in ways, and I knew she was feeling pain and trepidation about falling out with Pia, for whatever Pia had done, Dan looked up to her in many ways, Pia was now the "fallen idol" in Dan's eyes,
and no longer her friend and mentor, but Dan's circumstances in rank and bar pecking order had been changed, – she simply didn't need Pia anymore it seemed…."


Picking our way through the usual late night chaos that's Pat Pong later that night after the incident and escapades in Camelot, we decided we'd stop at a MacDonald's on the way, – the one over on the Silom Road side of PP,
– it's bigger and better there, not small and crowded like Suriwong's corner MacDonald's. We needed to 'chew the fat' over tonight's developments before going back to our Hotel, to digress, choosing oddly the more
lurid and noisy backdrop of a MacDonald's than our usual, quieter haunts….

Crossing Silom Road's fast dual carriageways always reminds me of that awful 70's movie "Death race 2000" – especially after the rush-hour when things "speed up" and get more lethal. You literally do take your
life in your hands when crossing, – timing is essential, – get it 'wrong' and you could find yourself mercilessly impaled by some Merc's bonnet crest, – most inconvenient, – for the fat Thai businessman at the wheel, – cos now he
might actually have to stop! {If he even notices…}

wonderland clinic

Or you could end up doing a dead human "star-fish" impression on the front of a huuuge careening bus, "Splatttt" The Bus driver then fleeing the scene, bounding and hopping over fences like Spiderman as he's already 'overdosed'
on about 24 X "Red Bull's" from the night shift before, melting into some Soi….[Oh well, must get another driving job then?]
Dan tugged at my hand meaning 'to go, -now!' – then we crossed in between speeding
cars and bikes, – me entrusting her 'experience' here as much as my own, – she'd probably crossed this road hundreds of times and had some near-death experiences too as motorists go hell-for-leather seemingly to see their Buddha
earlier than planned…. The Thai authorities have thoughtfully put fence-wires down the central reservations to prevent people from erm, "J-Walking"…(??) Hah! – what a farce, – pedestrians simply 'jump over them' treating
them with the same cheerful abandon they treat road regulations and look upon them as more of an annoyance than anything else. Cautionary signs warning of 200 Baht fine adorn the stretched wire fences, warning against any pedestrian trying to
cross at the wrong point, – and utterly ignored…. The problem has been since much alleviated now by the inclusion of the BMT Sky Train Escalator and overhead bridge walk-way that takes you directly into Silom Shopping Complex's second level
also. Trust me when I say Thai drivers utterly ignore Zebra Crossings with cheerful abandon, and seemingly look upon them more as 'kill zones' than anything else…!

At Pat Pong's 'peak' chucking-out time, i.e. after about 2-3am onwards, MacDonald's on Silom becomes a major meeting and congregation point for would-be opportunist's, Bar Girls and farang alike congregate on the
steps sometimes during peak times as the tables become fuller inside, spilling out onto the pavement and steps. Farang "refugees" adorn the tables and stairs from various bars, and the usual suspects of previously bar-fined girls just
out killing time, Kay Toey's picking off the odd stray farang after a Samurai-Burger or two…. As we queue, I smile as a Kay Toey slowly devours her Hamburger "seductively" with overly animated tongue, – moaning in mock orgasm
in front of some T-shirted slack-jawed farang opposite 'her' table, – 'demonstrating' in no uncertain terms exactly what she'd be doing to him should he take her home, – minus the Hamburger of course…. Smiling, I thought
to myself; "I'll bet he's thinking MacDonald's was never like this in Manchester on a wet Friday night!?"

Dan hardly noticed the different 'cabaret's' going on around her, – fixing her gaze instead on the colourful menu options overhead the eagerly awaiting servers…. Asking in Thai and leaning over the counter, I see Dan's brought the
little Pink Bikini bulging in her back Jeans pocket, – "the root-cause of all the troubles tonight" – I thought, with Pia…."Maybe we'll have some fun too yet with that later tonight" – I mused quietly….

Dim Sum Princess's meet the Cheeseburger warriors….

Filing in and queuing, I was hungry for a Big Mac, tired of Thai food and spicy Dim-Sum'd out, I just needed a satisfying stick-to-your-ribs Burger and fries tonight, – needed to take on some high-carbohydrate fuel after the night's
rigours, – worn out by Dan's and Pia's theatricals before and having to be the peacemaker all the time… Yeah, It's nice to be the subject of attention from two gorgeous women, but boy, things were getting outta hand and exhausting
after a while and never thought they'd fight over it as they did in the end. Although it wasn't my fault, I felt some element of indirect responsibility, and didn't like the thought of leaving Bangkok with Dan and Pia now as mortal
'enemies'. Reconciliation however seemed so far, far away now…. Somehow though I wasn't too worried, – I knew ultimately that things would somehow get worked out in their usual inimitable Thai bar-girl fashion one way or another
and it wouldn't be long before Dan and Pia were 'covering' for each other and once again become the "Som Det Mafia" as I joked with them about before….I thought it would be business as usual after I left…

At that moment, and unusually for BKK, a small group of young U.S. servicemen entered the restaurant, some in uniform, some in civvies, some sitting 'claiming' tables, while others approach the servers, ordering en-mass for this
group of unexpected night time customers…

"Whaddaya guy's want over there Yo'all" asks a black brother from an Alabama ghetto in crisp uniform BDU's…. Meanwhile all the girls' attentions suddenly swing towards the group, causing more feminine stir
than an ice cream MacFlurry. A Kay Toey immediately rises to the challenge, – slinking obviously across the restaurant, past the gawking group in obligatory flamboyant hip-swinging fashion, worthy of any lady-boy Cabaret, – licks her finger theatrically
and places it between her by now spaced apart legs, – withdraws it and licks it again, 'tasting' her own inimitable form of snack in front of the young soldier warriors now sitting agog…. Sigh…What Kay Toey's lack in common
sense, they more than compensate for in sheer bad taste…. "Anyone for Fish?" asks a G.I. – amid gails of laughter….

Squat up against the window on a two-seater table and with Bangkok's night street traffic our backdrop, Dan and I struggle to speak with one another over the growing cacophony the soldiers were unwittingly causing. Curious girls rallied and cackled,
conversing loudly in Thai or broken Lao, – their frantic conversations growing in intensity and pitch until it all more resembled large metallic objects falling down stair wells than human conversation, amid crashing splashing Coke cups and falling
French Fries…. One of the nearby Americans stated over the din about being in "Ko-so-vo" where they had a Burger King branch especially for the U.S. forces there flown in, complete with BK staff, – a 'prerequisite' to any
U.S. intervention in any theater or country, – a Burger King. The term "Cheeseburger Warriors" came to my mind…. As the soldiers tucked in, the Kay toey's circled and wheeled about like bazaar gaudy vultures waiting for their
pickings, – of the men…. A Kai Toey in mid fly-by pushes a young girl unceremoniously on the highest platform souls you've seen to one side, – she staggers, totters and teeters precariously, desperately for seconds trying to regain balance
vainly while holding onto a bag of fries and a Coke, – a heartbeat away from a broken ankle seemingly, or a shot of high altitude Oxygen, I wasn't sure… She frowns scornfully from her pale complexion at the back of the disinterested Kai
Toey, towering above her and carries on tottering to her table and her friends, – and the safe refuge of a chair. I'm sure I breathed a sigh of relief when she sat down….?

Looking long and hard at Dan, I wondered about the prospect of 'supporting' her, but had heard so many hard-luck sorties that this would be, basically 'out of the question', – this was long before Stickman's site
existed too!! The only book I'd ever read on the subject was "Hello my big Honey" which had been doing the rounds already some time by 1998, which detailed with tongue firmly in cheek some of the worst and cheesy sides of the farang
bar-girl phenomenon, it was nothing really to go on….

I didn't believe in fact, that Dan hadn't another sponsor somewhere at the time of meeting her, – far from it, – I took it as a prerequisite that she did! A fact that would prevent me from entering into any discussion about supporting her after
my return to England now. Sooner leaving it to luck, and more truer feelings. No, no support would be given, but at the same time, I pretty much knew I could almost count on Dan's friendship upon my eventual return to the LOS, – I just knew
somehow. Unfortunately, I've been to too many bars listening to girls talking to their boyfriends on mobile phones. On one such occasion when a girl was with me, she pacified her distant boyfriend and told him "not to worry about her,
that she 'stayed at home' very boring not go out anymore"…. No, support is totally out of the question especially if you're going home, – even if you stayed in Thailand, you still couldn't ever fully guarantee her 'fidelity'
100% – you have no hope if you go to your mother country… But there's always Stickman's Bar-Girl Investigations Bureau right for those that do and are 'in love'??

No money, no honey?….

And so it was with Dan, although the subject was never discussed, Dan didn't ask me let alone 'pressure' me into some after-support when I went home, she knew 'I knew' the system all too well. Dan was no liar, not
a 'good one' anyway, – sure, I'm certain she tells "white lies" to protect her interests or that of her friends like any girl from time to time, but lying to me wasn't one of her points. Taking money in support from
me, might 'force the issue' and later 'compromise' her freedoms. After all, we hadn't decided at that time in 1998 where, if anywhere, our relationship would go, as so many do, and might have technically 'ended'
in that MacDonald's restaurant that night, had I flown home the following day!! I simply didn't feel it was 'about money' though with Dan, she simply didn't imbue that when with me, and we rarely exchanged money after
we met, with Dan always saying "Later, okay?" – or putting it off for something else, I got the impression she wanted more than just money…. I got the distinct impression had I not paid her any money, she would have viewed it as her
own failure to please me in some way than anything else, questioning herself in that way much later on with me. In some ways she was too proud to ask for things, relying instead on her own character to ultimately reward her than any quick-fix
financial reward. She was looking for longevity, a relationship and tried to make things as easy for me as she could without pressuring me, and this is not uncommon when any girl or BG actually likes you. A BG no matter what her disposition or
preferences will readily make 'concessions' if she likes you, quoting high prices for her 'services' in short impolite terms is a real turn-off, – she simply doesn't like you, period. In this event, it's better not
to pursue the girl, as you'll only get a quick, cold and utterly indifferent experience and a feeling of being 'fleeced' for nothing, – such as one may feel with any western hooker.

What are little girls made of??….

With but just a few days to go now, Dan and I were obviously at a 'crossroads', as have so many relationships arrived at whether good or bad. Soon it would be time for us to part our ways with just a collection of memories and experiences,
like a 'holiday romance' if that's the right term. Our meeting was not so much that as that of a 'collision' – two imperfect souls careening in opposite directions in life, colliding in some bar somewhere across the other
side of the world, yet striking a chord against all the odds and utter chaos that's Bangkok, welcome to Thailand….

Whether a 'true' friendship had been forged against this unlikely backdrop remained to be seen, – we didn't think so at the time. Dan and even Pia too, had left their indelible mark on me, – they had made an impression on me,
and a good one at that in spite of the twists and turns and roller-coaster ride. The sheer verve and effort they made in their pursuit of me for whatever ends made my own time here fully worthwhile and their continuing conflict come friendship
entertained me almost endlessly, – until they 'fell-out'. Which I felt could not have been avoided, as it seemed it was an eventual certainty, but I couldn't help but feel they'd still be friends had it not being for me…..I
regretted that at least….
I'd known Dan at this time in 1998 about three weeks in all, hadn't seen her every night, – far from it in fact, and we had only spent the last few days in fact together in what was any 'quality time'
– most of that on the River Kwai Noi and "Jungle Rafts", – perhaps the best place to spend our time of all places… It's utterly impossible to draw conclusions on a girl you've known merely 2-3 weeks, – let alone just several
whole days. It takes months, even years to get to know someone thoroughly enough to know whether to embark on a more serious relationship. I had no inkling of that with Dan initially, – although future events and time would tell otherwise much
to my surprise, – even to this day. The 'basics' were there though with Dan, who in my mind was 'honest' – a straight-shooter, 'dividing' work from pleasure with a definable difference that I could see and recognise.
She always made me feel 'different' unlike other previous encounters and never tried to con me, – she always knew I wouldn't 'fall for any of that' BG-stuff and sweet-talk [Bhag-Wan] anyway, so some mutual 'respect'
was earned very early on.

I'm not going to say "Dan was different", – we've all heard that one so many times before right?, – no, I will keep my thoughts to myself on that score, but for the record, I didn't think she was any different at that time….
I liked her, but didn't recognise her as a "Miss Goodbar" stereotype.

As time wore on, I treated Dan less like "Pia's friend" and more my own friend and unexpected ally in earlier, difficult times with Pia, toying with my affections, and then eventually winning my favour completely, – and Pia's
place in my bed…. To any man I would say "this is as good as it gets" – so it's maybe better to quit while ahead, (?) to "love-em and leave-em" (?) – no one gets hurt that way, – oh, but then they do….
It struck
me quite early on in first visiting Thailand from 1994, that these girls were after more than just money, – the money-making to some extent was a facade that covered a more natural yearnings, – a 'yen' for something more special and
prevailing, – a real, real relationship, – a 'future'…. In all seriousness, a BG solemnly told me once the answer to that all-prevailing question; In that, every [Thai] girl, no matter what her disposition or walk in life, always dreams
of reaching the 'pinnacle' [holding her hands in a Pyramid shape] of her existence, her 'meaning and position' in life which is to bare children and become a good mother, it is the most logical and most natural progression
for her life, no matter what she is, or that she will become…. Maturity and preparedness have little to do with it, and should poor circumstances and social status prevail, then so be it, – she must deliver a child to her family circle… It's
also not uncommon for some females to knowingly 'trap' unsuspecting foreigners into relationships by deliberately falling pregnant. [As if you didn't know right?] This however, might also be an effort simply to escape her economic
plight as much as anything else or maternal instinctiveness if she likes someone, – to 'force the issue' – maybe even more so than any real love or feeling for her partner, sometimes born out of desperation more than any maternal instinct
or motive…. It may be she feels her partner loves her only, she'll do almost anything to grasp a hold of security.

In Western society, children follow marriage [normally] in theory anyway, and there's an element of financial planning and preparation before the event, whereby the child is born into a safe and stable environment from the start. Not so set against
the socio-economic and poorer social structures of Thailand, often referred to as third world (?)…. Another hidden 'fear' every BG has is that of growing old…. Growing old without Sons and Daughters to care for them in their inevitable
twilight years, emphasised more acutely against the back drop of a BG's harsh uncompromising lifestyle. She knows inwardly too she may soon all too easily become sick and invalided by the very lifestyle she's forced to lead one way or
another…. A BG might see pregnancy as a way out, and 'escape' from her own purgatory into some vision she had once of a family Utopia or 'promised land' with her chosen partner. Seldom is pregnancy a happy occasion though
against this backdrop and lurid landscape, and usually compounds and almost impossible situation into an insoluble one… Thailand's numerous Orphanages are full of the results of these unhappy mismatched liaisons and continue to fill.

Sometimes I cannot help but feel some odd perhaps misplaced 'admiration' for these girls. Life's so harsh for them and yet some react so 'positively' and resiliently, treating those around them with continuing honor
and respect against the odds, unlike they way in which they have been treated in turn, – true Buddhist's by any other name?? Youngsters with more "back-bone" and street savvy than any young educated women I've seen in my own
country or "Farangland", – Farang women whom have had loving care and 'life' presented to them on a plate from birth, – this, set against Thai women [and men too] who've been robbed and deprived of their 'natural'
childhoods, and forced to grow up so quickly often amid a brutal surrounding of use and abuse. Invariably the case with many BG's.
Any girl or 'woman' who comes through this intact as Dan seemingly did, deserves my respect and
honor, and this brings them into their own class. As poor as Dan's background may have been, she imbues and embodies her own form of class, humble yet proud, poor yet rich in so many other ways. This is perhaps what little girls can be made

It's always fascinated me over the years, how the so-called "fairer sex" can, and are seemingly, willingly able to 'prostitute' themselves, – even taking into account Thailand's socio-economic situation. Women
generally have an almost inexplicable ability to switch on and off to a man, but while a woman might be able to fake an orgasm, men have the unerring ability to fake an entire relationship as Sharon Stone once memorably quoted… However, BG's
have this honed into a fine state-of-the-art, easily see-through though if you have any common sense at all and a modicum of east-west knowledge and cultural comprehension. It's almost incomprehensible however with all their feminine and
womanly wiles, how women can be so mercenary when it comes to sex, and this is sometimes the case in the Western world extended into cleverly or thinly disguised avarice-laced relationships, and yes, sometimes 'marriage'. Whereby the
woman has married more for the economical means of elevating her [own] social status, than anything else. My English/Scottish girlfriend once looked me solemnly in the eyes a long time ago in 1982, declaring passionately; "Women aren't
very nice in reality, – you know?" I recall this profound comment followed some heated discussion about a mutual female friend who'd attempted to win or 'earn' my affections, (!) and her somewhat devious disguised ways in doing
that while manipulating her friendship with my then girlfriend, to gain access to me. It was about the time another mutual female friend had won a Million-Pound detached period country house in a Divorce settlement against her errant husband without

Similar patterns emerge in Thailand in feminine behavioral patterns, women after all, are searching for a life-mate, – one who can provide and support them while they get on with the natural norms of child baring, or supporting their own possibly aging
and invalided family members, unfettered by mundane financial burdens and complications. "Security" is what it's all about gentlemen, – security….. Give a woman this, and she'll return the favor, – in most cases anyway, –
not all!

The problems in Thailand are yet further compounded by the girl's obvious levels of maturity or rather lack thereof, and they remind me somewhat of those near-perfect yet flawed Androids in "West World" (Yul Brynner / James Brolim) whereby
they were simply not mentally prepared [programmed] for a human relationship, thus creating a short-circuit or burn-out malfunction when complex human emotions were encountered or couldn't be solved. Similarly too, to what happens when a
young relatively physically and mentally inexperienced BG inadvertently or not develops feelings for someone. She often doesn't know just how to deal with it properly or handle herself, and may rely heavily on sex to snare or keep herself
a man, or "farang". Whilst she may have been forced to grow up too fast in many ways, she's still not prepared in-life for the complexities of a relationship with a man, – let alone with a westerner. She will often yet 'unconscionably
model' herself and habits on something she saw at the movies once as a bridge-compromise… Ha! – the "Cinema", quite often the indirect but root-cause of her 'ingrained fascination' in Western males too, and in many ways
too the sum-limit of her cultural understanding gentlemen….Bare this in mind…. Hollywood has a lot to answer for….

This is often the fatal mistake western men make, always coming to Thailand with the "Missionary" mind-set of finding and bestowing showers of money on some BG or relatively normal pick-up he made. Desperate to show her a totally
better and new lifestyle, he spends gazillions of hard-earned Dollars on taking his darling back to Farangland, – he never seems to see the problems facing him, or her, and 'cares' too much. So many times this results in a proverbial
'melt-down' described above, many a Thai girl when faced with 'isolation' in a foreign land cut-off from her social circles and family, has gone nuts, more especially when the relationship has failed, which it inevitably seems
to. My advice is, if you ever do find a girl you imagine spending any significant part of your life with in Thailand, meet her half way, live and work in Thailand to be with her, – it's far better than taking her home. You may as well put
some exotic wild bird in a gilded cage, it's much the same thing.

Like it or not, in Thailand's struggle to develop, there have been some equally uncomfortable emergence's between western and Thai culture along the way that would possibly make King Rama V spin like a top in his grave. Developing
into a pseudo-westernised younger pop-culture emulated in the bars and clubs of Bangkok, where Westerners are not see as movie stars, (!!??) but 'representative' of something foreign and attractive to Thai women, and while unobtainable,
only increases the fascination to a limited few….


Simon will go home his country soon, – I will be alone again, back to the bar but will take short holiday first, go home Som Det for week – I am too boring go back Camelot too soon, and need to stay away from Pia, – Afraid her am I…. Mamasan
keep asking me "When you come back D'a??" – I say her I don't know, she say customer keep asking about me from Holland, – but I don't know him, and I not happy now stay in Camelot, – maybe I change-change bar??
say he don't know when he will return to Thailand, – I feel very sad, too sad, I don't know why, I cannot help myself how I feel, I want leave bars, but cannot and I was hoping Simon helping me, but I too shy to ask…. He will think
I am lie him, like so many lady tell lie to farang, farang never believe us, too many lady bullshit them, – sometime too, they tell lie us too. I never know where to believe or who, it so difficult, and even Buddha does not know, – he always tell
me; "look into your heart sister of mine"….

I worry so much about future, my future, my family, my family who don't know what I do in Krungthep [Bangkok] – they think I have respectable job in "lestaulant Chinois" I tell them after selling Watches [on] Sukhumvit – I cry sometime
when speak my Mum about work, – she not know what I do, – and I cannot talk her when I have problem or when I hurting about something or someone…. I worry too much about Pia speak something bad with my family if she jealous about Simon, – I
worry she speak my family about my work in Bangkok in my country [Som Det] I think about Simon too much, he take good care me not like other farang, he has good heart too and handsum too, I look Simon I see 'future' sometime, – I don't
know why!!

I say goodbye to Simon and go Airport together with him, – I say him special "thank you" and sure him have friend every time he come to Thailand, I will always friend for him….I feel love, but I not tell him, I think he will not believe me….

The right stuff?….

Set against the wild back drop of Bangkok, or Thailand generally, how does a guy know if he's found a nice girl, – from whatever walk of life she comes from, not necessarily the naughty night life?? It falls undoubtedly to "character"
and the man's ability to judge that, and sadly who has a poor record of doing just that…. It seems that with most men, their judgment deserts them as soon as they leave the airport for Bangkok's streets and bars, and often loses all
sense of reality, entering into an 'impossible' and implausible relationship that really has utterly no hope of continuation let alone future, it's like a dream-world of which some never escape, some never return to normality. So
powerful is the lure of untold numbers of available and attractive women, it can, and often does lead a man to destruction as surely as those sirens who lead ancient mariners to their deaths on the rocks, or some other doom beneath the waves….
Although farang tourist's might not suffer such a fanciful fate, harm can and does occur in the effect on him or his bank balance when he loses his sense of reality, investing his everything in a relationship like this, to eventually find
his "Teruk" has many other sponsors, sometimes after only 2-3 weeks of knowing her! When dating Dan, I was only too aware of all those before me who came to Thailand to be deceived, and while I trusted Dan, I never let go of that thought,
never fully gave myself and my trust to her, not completely anyway. Always keeping some in reserve for that eventual 'downfall' – to save myself from hurt or disappointment, and maybe even her in turn…(?)

Dan looked pensive as she ate slowly, and was holding my hand across our little table, and staring almost blankly at the masses of night traffic moving along Silom on its endless night vigil. Her face reflected in the window told me what must have been
going on in her mind, when she turned and asked; "When you come back to Thailand again?" – I'd told her already that I wasn't sure 'when' but knew yes, certainly I would within 6 months if I could, but she seemed
to need that answer again, some further reassurance from me. It suddenly occurred to me I was returning to my normal life, while she was returning to hers….a lot less attractive than mine in many ways and I felt strangely like I was deserting
her in ways as probably so many before me had, and possibly will. I was speechless for a while, unable to offer her something more concrete than what I had already said, whatever she was searching for, I was unable to give her, unable to deliver
any salvation to her, and far from solving her problems had just unwittingly added to them, in that I was leaving. I know an 'actress' when I see one – I'm too long in the tooth to know when someone is or isn't 'conning'
me, and Dan wasn't one, her heart was on her sleeve to see that night. Nobleness, bitter experiences or whatever, kept her from saying what she was really feeling or thinking, she too, knew that a lasting friendship or relationship was so
unlikely and I could visibly see her inner conflict as she sat there that night reflected in the window similarly to my own…."I, – I want commitment, I want promise you come back" she suddenly offered…."Chai zhing zhing??"
she said, 'hooking' her little finger in mine looking me in the eye and cocking her eyebrows, – "Sure" I said, "Chai zhing-zhing khun Dan" – although it sounded strangely hollow coming from me….

I can almost hear the clamor of misogynists out there saying; "leave her!, forget her, who cares?" – this isn't me though, and frankly I sincerely doubt any misogynist would even be reading this serial chronicle, – less it
remind him of a distant time gone by when his heart and soul were still intact, – and were still 'one'. No matter how many times I've been disappointed, hurt or even burned before, I still adore women personally and can see little
value to life or meaning without them, – or 'hating' them and 'using' several of them at any one time merely for sexual gratification and laundry duties, as so may sex-pats do. Even in the bars and clubs of Bangkok, I saw many
real feminine qualities, still alive and well, even flourishing, and yes, even friendship and loyalty, amongst their own kind at least if not with any other man.

The Genie's out of the bottle now?….

Walking back to the Hotel that night, holding my hand wasn't enough for Dan and she held instead onto my arm and hand, walking as closely to me as she could, we hardly spoke a word as we walked, but her actions and touch were more than
enough to tell me her feelings. Walking past Camelot she looked winsomely over her shoulder, as if looking at one friendship departing and another beginning, "Pia no good tonight?- I don't know why she sooo crazy today, ohhh!" "Mai
pen rai, mai pen rai D'a?" I offered, – again it sounded hollow, "just shut up maybe Simon?" I thought, – there seemed to be nothing I could say or offer up to placate Dan, and sometimes saying nothing is better…. Cracking
myself open a beer and watching TV, Dan washed herself in the bathroom, as I drank, thinking 'boy, I neeed this tonight' whatta night, whatta week??!!

With the lights down low and the room lit only by the flickering light from the TV, Dan emerges from the bathroom in her Pink Bikini, does a twirl and dances in 'mock' "Rum-Thai" laughing and smiling like a Cheshire cat,
then sliding in between the sheets going straight for me as I have to put my beer down quickly on the bedside table, – just in time as she starts kissing me. She feels good, I can feel her firmness in my hands and the unmistakable 'scent'
between her breasts, lovemaking has never been this good since I can remember, this was wild sex, joyous sex that I'd not enjoyed for some time, – fairly distant memories by now I thought…. Who needs 'Viagra' I thought…. Dan
puts her arms behind her back, releasing the Bikini top and letting it fall as we roll over while releasing our built-up sexual tension on each other, seemingly in earnest tonight more than before, fueled by so many thoughts and that little skimpy
pink & white laced Bikini !

Whatever happens we'll always have these memories, and there'll always be the River Kwai trip…

Stickman's thoughts:

More magic from Simon Templar.

nana plaza