Readers' Submissions

Look For Love With An Open Mind

  • Written by Anonymous
  • December 24th, 2004
  • 3 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Anonymous submission


I still regularly visit this site, even though my relationship with my Filipino Fiancé in Hong Kong has progressed to the point of my dropping the fiancé visa in the mail this month. An interesting note about her is that our relationship has been "perfect" to the point of her developing a good relationship with my 11 year old daughter (I am a divorced single parent age 40).

She has even offered to buy a plane ticket for my daughter so she can come stay with her in HK during her spring break all with a $600 USD a month salary. I trust her completely, she has a teaching degree and works with the children of wealthy Chinese families. So my daughter will go to HK in March. More important I have a good friendship with her brother who is a very decent fellow, and I have regular contact with her daughter, and with her family. What I am trying to say is that for all the guys out there: True love can be found on the net, but just like anywhere else it is not easy!!! This has been a 4 year journey for me, including 2 trips to Thailand, and one to HK.

My fiancé met a Thai lady in HK who was picking up her child at the same school, this Thai lady was very beautiful and seemed to have a fun personality. My fiancé at first liked her, then she was appalled to the point of revulsion, at her materialism, and her total lack of integrity. This Thai lady lived only to spend her husbands money and to acquire material wealth. On a personal level this lady lived in an empty emotional void. Her advice to my lady was to check out my personal finances before anything else (At this point my lady told her she felt sorry for her, and she should try to learn something from Buddhism to have a chance to some day become a decent person, this of course ended that story. (I would have loved to see the face of this lady when she heard those words tee, hee haa, haa. Just think of the poor bloke she married, she did tell me this lady also told her once she drained her present man she would just find another falang in BKK. So if you are falang and live in HK with a Thai lady who loves to shop, put some money away just in case : ) Also If you are planning a trip to BKK in a few years this shark will be in the water sniffing for your money trail…..

My advice to all the decent men who are looking for true love is: Look for a lady who is focused on family, and who puts this ahead of her own interests in the relationship. Look for a lady who instinctively knows she can only have happy life, if all members of the family are happy. If you are with a lady who has only a dream of "Her Beauty Salon" or "Her Restaurant" run like hell and lick your wounds. Look for her core values and integrity.

She is out there, and you just have to have the patients to find her, you have to endure the pain, and even endure that worst of all male nightmares: "Being Alone" to find her, Like the bumper sticker in the US says: "Gas Grass or Ass, Nobody Rides for Free" I do not think it matters what country your lady is from, all the stereo typing on this site is just simply bullshit, even western women can have these attributes. I happened to find my love in HK, but it could just as well have been at "Robinsons" or "Big C".

I would like to say one thing to the fellow who wrote about the bar girl who refused money, and who seemed like a decent lady. Give her a chance dammit, try to focus on her attitude towards family, and on your communication with her. Does she shares her inner thoughts? Does she really open up to you? Does she care about family. If she does some or all of these things give her a chance.

Just like there are wolves in sheep’s clothing, like the girl in HK wrote about. There are also "Angels in Wolf Suits" and you may just have found one….

Take Care and have a very Merry Christmas, and Happy Hanuka ect !

Stickman's thoughts:

Good stuff.