Come On, I Know How You Are
Picture the scene… An attractive lady shopping with her baby daughter on a high street in an affluent coastal town in the UK. She's looking a real picture, though not overly done, just a simple make up of naturally toned lipstick and eye shadow, that’s all she needs and with her hair tied up at the back she looked lovely in just jeans, training shoes and sweat shirt. There she was going about her day as usual, pushing her daughter around the shops and just enjoying this brief break in the otherwise lousy weather we had been having, though cool it was sunny, dry and bright.
A baby in a push chair, bags of food shopping and if you looked a bit closer, a wedding ring on her left hand…the clues are all there.
She had noticed the guy staring at her throughout the morning. Just about every shop she went into, there was this guy putting himself out to be noticed by her, smiling and over gesturing at every opportunity. Now he had followed her into Starbucks and though there were many tables free he came over to her and asked if he could sit at her table and would she like to talk with him. Her reply that she was waiting for her friends to arrive was not well received and he reluctantly sat at another table, yet still within view of her.
After making a few calls she realised that there were none of her friends in town that could join her at short notice and as this guy was still sat opposite and continuing to try to attract her attention all the more. She decided to call me, her husband.
My wife is really not the kind of person to get flustered about anything and can usually just brush things off and quite often find humour with social peculiarities of life in the UK, but on this occasion she seemed to be distressed unlike anything I had ever known from her. I told her to stay put in the coffee shop and that I would be there in 10 minutes…rather cleverly she quite loudly repeated “you’re here in 10 minutes darling, Ok I’ll get you a coffee”…and on hearing this our Mr. Nice Guy promptly sculled his cappuccino and beat it.
Living just a few hundred yards from town meant that the 10 minutes I'd promised became 5 and I saw my wife holding my daughter and clearly crying. I pulled a chair up and comforted her as she told me what had happened. After leaving, the guy had returned and asked her for her phone number because he wanted to see her again. When she had told him she wasn’t interested he replied “What !!“ …”All you Thais are up for it, I bet you’d never turn me down back at the bar you worked in Bangkok, you whore!” On this sour note he left. She really needed some comforting, I had never seen my wife like this before.
“Why all farang think lady Thai work bar?”, she wept. “I never work bar…I have BA, I company manager in Bangkok…why every farang think we like this. Fucking Arsehole!” She was seething, it was like everything she had learned and experienced in the UK in her 5 years here just went out of the window, all her social development and integration into the way of life here was now meaningless to her. ”I Fucking hate it here, everybody think Thai lady hooker. I fucking hate it, I want to go back to Bangkok”. (Some of my bad vocabulary brushing off on her??)
Only one thing for it, there’s only one thing that can calm her down. Infact there’s one thing in a Thai girl’s life that’s going to be of use in this situation.
I sit with my daughter on my lap relievedly watching all meaning of life return to my wife’s daily routine as she returned to the table hardly able to carry the plate of larb moo, the bowl of Tom Kha Gai and the overflowing platter of just about every other item from the “All you can eat for £9.99 buffet” at our local “Grand Palace” Thai restaurant.
When we returned home I had asked her if anything like this had happened before. “Many times” she said, but she had never told me, like I said she’s strong enough to brush it off most times, but today was just once too many.
“Mai Pen Rai” she said.
“A lot of my Thai friends get the same”.
She continued ”Shopping, restaurants, library, school, just everywhere and the worst place is at the airport when I fly to Thai, everybody thinks they can take you, everybody think your easy because you Thai lady”.
Should it really be like this??
On a final note we were shopping together last week in town and “Mr Stalker” was pointed out to me by my wife’s friend (my wife noticed him but refused to let me know in case I had a go at him). So quite naturally and as expected I approached him, this decently dressed, well turned out guy, 55 to 60 ish, could have been anybody’s favourite grandad, any company’s boss, any kid's head teacher etc. a respectable looking guy to say the least. Quivering and quaking as this 6 ft 4 120Kg ex-forces husband was briskly walking towards him (Obvious as we live in a Garrison town…many of us about).
“You upset my wife”, I said.
“I’m sorry” he replied in a whimpering tone.
“You’re not going to do this again are you?” ”I have told my buddy over there” pointing to the head of security talking to my wife. “I've told him who you are and what you do, he’s got you on camera and if there’s any complaints about you in this centre then he’s marching you strait to the police station…Ok”
“I’m sorry”…and he was off, overtly pursued by three security guards and escorted to the bus waiting area. Maybe he got the message?
So in reply…Yes my wife and her friends regularly get the come on from guys. If it happens in Thailand they expect it in most situations with both farangs and Thais making passes, often it’s easier to manage in their mother country. Over here in the UK it’s less frequent but it's still here and can often cause upset, but in my wife’s opinion the attitude of farang wives, girlfriends and even sisters of their husbands is more distressing. My wife and her other Thai, Malay, Japanese, Philippine friends have regularly experienced bitchy, snide comments (hooker, bargirl, only here for the money etc, etc, etc) and open disapproval of them being here by (jealous?) Farang ladies. Another story?
PS …Happy Christmas You all.
Oh, you must have been working hard to restrain yourself from giving this guy the hiding THAT HE DESERVED.