How Many Other Sponsors Does Your Girl Have? – Part 1
By Another Stupid Farang (aka RossUK)
For a bit of background to this submission. I came on business to Thailand two years ago for seven weeks. I met a bargirl called Jeab on my first night in Bangkok and she later stayed in my hotel in Saraburi for three weeks, we also went to Ko Samui on
holiday for five days. At weekends we would check into the Imperial Queens Park hotel together and she would have her own room key. Twice we got upgraded to a suite. Those were my days of innocence before I read Stick’s site. Those were
the best days, but things generally went downhill after that, only to reach rock bottom on this visit, my fifth since then.
As a single man for about half a century we had a nice time together, I was not in love with her, but the companionship she gave me was a pleasant change to my “committed bachelor” status. I never bar-fined her, I never even knew there was a bar-fine back then. I paid her off at the end of my stay. But, by then, I had decided to sponsor her training as a hairdresser “to give her a better life” and to make her self sufficient so that I did not have to sponsor her. I started on about a 15k monthly stipend and then later increased it to 20k (at Stick’s suggestion). On my return to Farangland I did a search on Google for “bar girl Bangkok” and then discovered Stickman. It was then that I thought “Oh Shit”. My education about bargirls was about to begin. I have been an avid reader of Stickman ever since then. This submission tells how it all ended, and what I found out about her and is written especially to those who also sponsor a Thai bargirl.
I have written several submissions on Stickman all about this girl I call Jeab in my submissions. My mission was to save a bargirl. I wanted her to have a better life, I did not want her to have to fuck older men for a living (like me). So I sent her to hair school. I had a big problem, I took pity on her as I am a farang. I had the knight in shining white armour syndrome rescuing a maiden in distress.
She was 25 when I first met her and she comes from Buriram and I was in my late forties. Her mother died when she was young and the father deserted them, and she was brought up by her Auntie. She was sent to Bangkok at about 13 and worked in a sweatshop for about ten years. She found a Thai boyfriend who treated her like shit and later he died in a drunken motorcycle accident. In her mind she was now spoiled goods, and it would be difficult for her to find a husband. After a number of failed attempts to earn a living she became a bargirl. A few years later she hit the jackpot when a naïve farang comes to Thailand.
That is her story, the problem with Thailand is that you do not know which bit is true. The problem with all liars is that they mix fact with fiction, there is always some truth to a good lie. My own experience of Farangland is that people do not lie that much, the problem with bargirl-land is that they can lie to you a lot, and being a stupid farang you believe them, because you come from Farangland, where people lie to you less.
I have since had five visits to Thailand on business, I have also met her brother who stays in her room. While I know she continued being a bargirl, she did go to hair school as she can now cut my hair and she does a decent job.
Latest visit to Bangkok Sep 2004.
I had four weeks of official report writing time after working on my software jobs in the USA, I had worked four months overseas in Utah, Texas, Alabama and Montana and I decided to write my reports in Bangkok rather than be home alone in the UK, a no brainer decision I thought. I could write my report during the day and take Jeab out in the evening. I found a cheap Thai Air direct flight, and Jeab found me a cheap guestroom at 800B a night, as I would be paying, not my company. I even checked by email with Jeab to see whether she wanted me in Bangkok for a full month. She answered with “why you say that? Of course I want you come to Bangkok” My concern was not whether another sponsor was coming to town, but whether she was willing to look after me for a full month, I would not be working in Saraburi this time, but would be in Bangkok full time. I also teased her with “make sure boyfriend 2 not in town” her reply was “why you say that”.
The first thing to do on my arrival to Bangkok was for my girlfriend Jeab to cut my hair and trim my beard as it was rather long, she did an excellent job. So I had proof that she had been to hair school.
Jeab had finished her hairdressing course at the Ketvadi-Gandini International Hairdressing academy. She had to do an examination to get her certificate (costing 3,000 baht) and she required a dummy head for this (900 baht), I think the exam cost 1,000 baht. She produced the receipt from her previous course costing 9,000 baht as I had previously requested (this last paragraph is all her lies).
Her room was the same as it was five months earlier. No new furniture or anything, some of it I had bought for her on previous trips. I spotted a small suitcase with a TG 419 label on it dated 18th Aug. This was when her sister was ill and Jeab had to visit her in Buriram on 15th August. However, Jeab always takes the bus, never flies, I questioned her and she said the flight was to Buriram (another lie).
I visited the bar on soi 22. The ladyboy was still with her boyfriend. Another girl was back with her boyfriend. Another girl was to marry a Frenchman, I hope they make each other happy. Closing time was about 12:30.
As usual there was no smile from Jeab or hugs and kisses. That night Jeab says her prayers to Buddha and goes to sleep, no sex for Farang. I later learned that this is how a Thai lady tells her man that she does not want sex. In the morning as soon as I am up and in the bathroom she puts her cloths on. No morning nooky for Farang.
That afternoon I went to MBK with Jeab who was now wearing a 15,500 baht mobile phone. She told me that she had traded her old one in for 3,000 baht and bought her new one second hand for 10,000 baht (another lie). It even had a digital camera. I bought a second hand Ericsson for myself for 1,200 baht. The contrast between the rich farang with a cheap mobile and the poor Thai girl with an expensive mobile was striking. We had a bit of an altercation in MBK and we did not speak to each other in the return taxi.
That evening it was business as usual and we had a nice Japanese meal. Jeab asks for the remaining money to finish her hairdressing exams about 5,000 baht (nice touch that Jeab). Later another bar girl arrives, she was the girl who was with Jeab the day I first arrived in Bangkok two years ago. Jeab comments “do you think you made a mistake then”. I had chosen Jeab over this girl. A fateful decision that was, but in fairness to Jeab, probably a good decision because she could look after me and communicate with me.
That evening I went to a Karaoke with Jeab, another farang and a group of girls that I knew, most were mutual friends of Jeab and I. I spent most of the night talking to my farang friend who had also read Stickman. At one point Jeab leans over to us to hear the conversation, maybe I was talking about her. I ended up in a private Karaoke room with a group of our friends and Jeab was not in it. I remember being dropped by a taxi close to my room on Sukhumvit soi 22 at about 5:30am by Jeab’s friends.
When I got back to my room, I found that Jeab had packed up all her things and she was not in the room, she always stays with me when I come to Bangkok. She was mad at me for some reason and had left me. I was devastated and stunned, I had no idea why she had left. But I made a simple, but very painful decision, that it was finished. It was already clear to me on this visit that she did not really want to be with me. She could look after me very well but not give me any affection. I could have tried to get back together with Jeab, I should have found out why she left me, but I did not bother. I realised that we were both going through the motions of doing our duty. We did not really want to be together and the thought of another month together was too much for both of us. There are plenty of other fish in the sea for both of us. She could now cut my hair, it was now up to her what to do with her life. I was only an ATM to her. In hindsight I should have tried to find out why she was mad at me, but I was now mad at her too. It was a messy break-up as I did not know why she left me. I spent a lot of time trying to find out why and was surprised at what I found out.
The next night I bar-fined another girl, who gave me all the hugs and kisses that Jeab failed to give me. As she had lived in the USA for 5 years she had excellent English. mamasan in Jeab’s bar was amused that Jeab and I broke up and I had to pay bar-fine for the first time. She spoke good English like Jeab, but was a big spender (of my money), she was expensive, a Karaoke junkie, a gambler and a thief. I ditched her within three days, she was a crocodile. On our last evening together she drank 125 B Heineken lady drinks, she gambled and asked me for 1000 baht for gambling (I said no), I paid check bin and she asked for 500 baht money for drinks (I said no), she then said “leave door open for me honey”, I said “I see you tomorrow”, in other words I wanted nothing to do with that woman. However great the sex or my emotional needs, I was not putting up with that shit, she was just taking the piss. I learned pretty quick to say “no way”. I could see through her in just three days. Jeab, however, was far more cunning, it has taken me two years to find the truth about Jeab, even with the help of Stick’s site. Jeab is a long term player the previous girl is a short term player. Jeab has learned the art of deception, and she is very skilful at it.
The above girl was also from Jeab’s bar, if Jeab was mad at me before, then she was now ballistic (she found out pretty quick what I did and said at the bar). She had lost face, she had ditched me and her sponsor had chosen another girl from her bar, I should not have done that. But at that time I did not really care, she had fucked off and that was it. I also thought that she would be back when she needed money, how wrong I was.
Jeab has previously told me to be a good boy when she was away from me, but if I cannot be a good boy, do it so she does not hear about it. In other words, if you want to butterfly, do it elsewhere. I had now pissed in her backyard and she was not happy about it. Lesson to be learned, butterfly elsewhere.
I did after a few days send Jeab a few SMS’s, it was too late her replies indicated that it was over. That was the end of our two year relationship. I was surprised at the suddenness of her departure, I had no reason why. On investigation I found out she had wanted me to leave the Karaoke Bar with her, but I had wanted to stay and she had seen me dancing and enjoying myself. Her excuse was that she had “seen me happy” and she thought I had gone with someone else. Actually I had done nothing wrong and her friends brought me home in a taxi. However, I had no recollection of any of this as I had drunk so much, my memory was a complete blank. A sad way to end a relationship. Still, as she had finished her hairdressing course, it was a fitting time to end and move on. I knew that there must be something deeper going on. I later learned that she had also planned to ditch me as another sponsor was coming to town.
The next fifteen days were emotionally very difficult, I did not eat for almost three days, drank lots of alcohol and bar-fined most nights. What got to me the most was that Jeab left me after only 36 hours in Bangkok, I still had another 26 days to go. Bangkok was no longer the place of my dreams but a place to be endured for the next 4 weeks. My company found out about our split by a curious network of three people (two Thai and one Farang) and gave me some real work to do which got me out of Bangkok and also paid for my trip.
A few days later I saw Jeab leaving the bar area with a Japanese customer, she had a grin on her face that I had known and loved for the last two years. For a few moments it felt like my heart was pierced by a sword. I consumed more alcohol. A two year emotional investment down the tube. If I really wanted to get my revenge on her I could have bar-fined several other girls from her bar, but probably not a wise decision. I wrote this report instead to expose her deception.
On this visit a bargirl friend of ours told me that she no longer worked in the bar, I think she told me this to make me feel better, but it was a lie. I asked mamasan and she told me Jeab did work in the bar. Another girl told me that she had about three or four other sponsors a 10k, 20k and 40k. My guess was that Mr 40k (Japanese customer) was back in Bangkok at the same time, and as I was the lower paying one I lost out. Actually, an English 30k sponsor for three years was in town two weeks after I arrived.
I did hook up with a new bargirl who was a 24 year old student (at another bar), she was young and tall and had a great body. She was also very inexperienced and shy, and as a newbie to the game was not expensive. She likes to Internet chat with Farangs, she claims not to like Thai boys (OK, pinch of salt on that one). She did not own a mobile (but soon will do). And did not need to send money to her parents. She was working as a bargirl to pay her way through college. Her English was not great. She still liked to turn on my TV and she likes rap music. She had white skin and was a change from my previous Isaan GF. She offered me her email address, I refused point blank. I frankly did not want to put up with all that email garbage which is associated with long distance relationships. However, for a 25 year old farang newbie to Thailand, she would probably make a great companion, she likes to dance and she likes to boom boom. Needless to say, I wished I had come to Thailand when I was 25.
By the way, flight TG 419 is the Thai Air Bangkok to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia flight. Jeab’s DOB is easy to remember for Farangs and she lives on Sukhumvit 22. Jeab is not her real name, but her real name is very well hidden in this article and occurs just once (three letters and one word). Only other sponsors will know, just do a search of this article to find out if you also sponsor Jeab.
I wish that there was a register of sponsors so that we could compare notes. Most sponsors are blissfully unaware that there are also other sponsors sending money to the same girl.
The Thai version – six sponsors.
It is worth noting that none of my bargirl “friends” gave away any background information, after we split up, even though I was going through a tough time. It is because they also know Jeab for a long time and may need to borrow money from her. They are also in on the game and do not want to spoil it for Jeab. One girl, who is no friend of Jeab’s, told me that Jeab has four sponsors.
Then another Thai friend of ours arrived back in Bangkok and gave me the full background, it is by a Thai so perhaps a pinch of salt is required. Her sister works in the same bar and had told her that Jeab and I split up and that I was now a broken hearted farang. She had also confided in me before and is the girlfriend of a colleague of mine in Farangland. She has known Jeab for three or four years. When we met, I told her that I already knew about the other sponsors, I knew that Jeab was still working the bar, I did not care how worse the story gets, I only wanted to know the truth. If her story is true then the truth is stranger than fiction. So here is the gist of her account.
Jeab has at least six sponsors, three farang and three Japanese. I was sponsor number four. Two of her sponsors live in Bangkok. Only one sponsor, who lives in Bangkok, knows that there are other sponsors and he does not care. She gets about 150k a month from her sponsors. She has about 50 baht of gold jewellery (3.5 Baht from me). She has 600k in the bank. Her house in Buriram was paid for by sponsors money (not a bank loan) and her family have a pickup truck paid for by sponsors money. She has taken several sponsors to her family home. Her ambition is to buy a house in Bangkok and she has found a sponsor for this, she also wants a car and a hairdressing business. Her family are money grabbing just as reported on this site. They know she is a bargirl and visit her in Bangkok.
The story Jeab told me about her family is basically true, except for the fact that her dead boyfriend was her Thai husband. When he died she cried no tears and later entered the bar business, many of the bargirls have had Thai husbands and are now looking for farang boy friends or husbands. She does have a mentally ill sister. Her brother is her brother and not her husband or boyfriend. She has been in the bar business since 2000 when she was 23.
She has been wanting to ditch me for some time, probably because I came to Bangkok when another sponsor arrived and I was also difficult to look after. This was the third time I was in Bangkok when this other sponsor was in town, she was tired of juggling the two of us around. Her next sponsor arrived two weeks after me, so she ditched me early. She then went to Phuket to look for another sponsor. Jeab told me (via my friend) that if she had six sponsors she would not have gone with me in the first place (when she only had three other sponsors).
Her first sponsor, an American, sent her to English and computer classes, I benefited from that because I like to be able to communicate. I had already known this, as she told me this a year earlier. She also speaks Japanese and would like to get more Japanese sponsors and ditch the farangs.
She uses the “sick sister” routine to juggle sponsors if two of them are in town together, she is an expert on this. She has done this three times with me already, when she told me she had to see “sick sister” in Buriram. The first time was when I was with Jeab in Saraburi and she left for ten days to attend to “sick sister”. The other two times were Songkran last year and this year. On one instance I was in the Regency Park hotel while she and another sponsor stayed in the Imperial Queens Park hotel, both hotels are on soi 22. This would work if Jeab stayed in the hotel watching films while her sponsor visits the bars. Once I was in the same bar as another sponsor and did not know it. Shit, and I felt guilty about being a butterfly while she was away looking after “sick sister” in Buriram.
She adapts to each sponsor. With me she wears glasses and bargirl clothes, probably so that I believe her story and take pity on her. With others she wears no glasses, makes herself up and wears glamorous clothes. I saw photos which matched this story and I later saw her with another sponsor, yes she looks totally different, made up and glamorous, I hardly recognised her. With her other sponsor she looked very good indeed, a woman you would sponsor? With me she does not drink, with others she drinks. She never comes to the airport to see me off or greet me, with others she does. I was surprised by the number of sponsors as she is not a stunner. However, with makeup and decent cloths I can see her in a different light. All I was to her was money, an ATM. She did not care that she dumped me three days after I come to Bangkok. I do not worry about her now, she has a good life. Her current sponsor flies her to Chiang Mai.
Hair school can be obtained for free from the government. Medical help is also free for the poor. She did go to a free government run hair school for six months and later to a private hair school for one month. She never left the bar.
Her computer in her room and her mobile were not bought second-hand as she told me but bought new by sponsors money.
Her devout worship of “Buddha” is a local deity and is to give her the power to deceive people. It worked. When she says her prayers to Buddha and goes to sleep it means that she does not want sex with me.
Most of the girls in the bar have one farang “boyfriend”, if you are sending her money then you are her sponsor. 10k a month is probably the minimum requirement for you to claim her as your girlfriend on your next trip to Thailand, but it will not get her out of the bar, neither will 40k, it is easy money.
Jeab’s phone is in Thai and English so she can switch between Thai and English. I had her phone once, but I could not read it because it was in Thai. When she was with me in my room she would SMS another sponsor and I had no clue.
My friend used the expression “love is blind” on me. Now, I was not in love, but I did care for Jeab. I already had my eyes open because I had read Stickman, but I still believed her lies. If you are “in love” with a bargirl then keep at least one eye open.
My friend could have been telling me all this just to make me feel better, which it did. But another girl who is no friend of Jeab had previously told me of multiple sponsors. I also had the evidence of the photos she showed me and of later seeing and speaking to Jeab’s sponsor for myself and seeing her with a Japanese man.
The one thing about this tale which does not ring true is why does Jeab live in a small room on Sukhumvit soi 22 with no air-con? Most of the stuff in it I bought, she does bring other sponsors to her room, I was the only one who bought stuff for the room, the others gave her jewellery. When I met Jeab the place was spartan. She could have another apartment? But my friend said she did not. My friend said to me that this is not important to a Thai woman (?). If I was Jeab, I would have got an air-con room, but I am a farang who is used to air-con.
When I first met Jeab I used to eat Sashimi, she ate noodles. It is only on the last two visits that she ate and enjoyed sashimi. Maybe the Japanese influence? When we first stayed in the Imperial Queens Park hotel I had to get her togged out in better clothes so that she did not look like a bar girl. She was playing the innocent bargirl with me.
I had always wanted Jeab to have a better life, and now I knew she has it. She does not need me anymore.
Interestingly, I learned all this about Jeab on 22 Sep 2004 precisely two years to the day after I first met her on 22 Sep 2002. It also rained that night just as it had two years ago, when the rain gave me an excuse to stay in the bar for a little longer with Jeab, instead of going back to my hotel alone.
Jeab’s sponsor comes to town.
Later Jeab’s sponsor was in town, yes I saw them in the bar together and Jeab was dressed up, looking totally different to when she was with me. With me she wore bargirl clothes with him she was dressed up and she looked good. He was an older guy with white hair, he was also from the UK. I smiled to myself when I saw him smoking, I know that Jeab hates cigarette smoke.
Another girl in the bar said to me “you have to learn”. Well I have learned, the hard way through my experience and I hope it helps another Farang. I told mamasan that I like girls to speak good English, she said “why, so that they can lie to you better”? She has a point. I later learned mamasan’s husband had joked in Thai that he wished his daughter was as clever as Jeab, us farangs are just a customer, it is all about money. mamasan later told me that her sponsor also listens to Jeab as well, he believes her lies to.
The other bargirls are also in on it, once when two sponsors were in the bar a group of girls crowded about a Japanese man so that he did not see “his girlfriend” with another sponsor.
The story now gets better, this time it goes my way. Later, I take my informant to dinner two times. Jeab’s sponsor had also known my informant for three years because she introduced Jeab to him. Jeab’s sponsor thinks that I am her boy friend. After Jeab leaves the bar, he comes up to us and talks to me, and as two farangs we get on well. He is a senior person in a multinational company, he travels the world like me. He likes fine wines and champagnes. Believe me, the whole situation was hilarious, I was talking to Jeab’s sponsor and he did not know that I was also another ex-sponsor of Jeab. Everyone else in the bar knew. He told me that he was taking his girlfriend Jeab to Chiang Mai for a few days and I told him that I would like to see him on his return to play pool together. I could see that he was just another human being like me looking for happiness, I decided then not to tell him the full story. I did not want to spoil his happiness, that is not my job, he has to find out for himself. Jeab was dressed up and looked beautiful and made him happy, I do not want to spoil that for him. Jeab never dressed up for me and that pissed me off, what more can I say? I do not hate Jeab’s sponsor, I pity him if Jeab ditches him. He does not know the truth about Jeab, he still thinks that Jeab does not work in the bar. Maybe Jeab will ditch him when she finds wealthier Japanese sponsors.
A few days later my informant took me to a Thai barbeque, it was an all you can eat buffet for 69 Baht. I had an enjoyable dinner as it was my first time in a Thai barbeque. I had a beer and she drank water. The bill came to 250 baht, I paid. We went back to the bar to find Jeab and her sponsor already there after their three days in Chiang Mai. I sat close to her sponsor who was talking to someone else, Jeab stayed away from us. When the other person left, I started talking to her sponsor. Jeab was behind the bar when she saw us talking, she lets out a gasp of surprise and scurried away to the other side of the bar to play a game machine. I don’t think she realised that I had already spoken to her sponsor four days ago, she must have got a fright. I invited her sponsor to a game of pool, he said yes as I had promised him a game last time we met, I was now on an adrenaline high, I was playing pool with her sponsor and Jeab was in the bar. We played three games and I won the first and he won the last two, while we were playing Jeab sat with her back to us and then went back to the hotel. I later learned that mamasan told Jeab to go and cheer her sponsor on while we played pool. After pool, we then chatted together and he told me that he was planning to take Jeab to Ko Samui on his next visit to Bangkok. I then gave him a brief run-down of the place as I had also taken Jeab to Ko Samui two years ago. He gives me a pat on the back and leaves the bar. By this time I had a big smile on my face.
Once again the situation was hilarious, most people in the bar knew that we were both sponsors of Jeab. After he left, even mamasan’s husband gave me the thumbs up. It is not often that two sponsors play pool against each other. It is not often that one sponsor knows that the other is also a sponsor. I found a lot of satisfaction in that encounter with Jeab’s sponsor. I was happy, very happy, I did not lose the bargirl game, I had turned defeat into victory. I had previously sent Jeab an SMS that I would play pool with her sponsor and I did. I hope Jeab saw the humorous side of things, but I think she lost face big time. She had played with me and now I had played with her, in her bar where all the girls could see.
I later learned that after Jeab had seen me play pool with her sponsor, she had gone to his hotel room to wait for him. When he came back she was going to open the door slightly to see if he was angry. If he was angry she was going to close the door, get dressed and do a runner. When he came back to the room he was smiling as I had not spilled the beans on Jeab, for his sake, not for Jeab’s.
A few minutes later, a girl appeared in the bar that I had seen a few times before, I had fancied her. I had gone to Soi Cowboy to find her before, but we had only talked. This was when Jeab was away looking after “sick sister”. I had gone to Soi Cowboy again and not found her. Now I saw her in my bar and I waved to her and she was impressed that I had remembered her from before. At this time I was pleased to see her and she was pleased to see me. I short timed her, and she was good, she was very very good. I was no longer a broken hearted Farang. She clearly needed money as she had pawned her mobile. She told me her “sick mother” story twice, “not again” I thought. Her English is not great, and I will not be sponsoring her for English lessons. That night I felt peace at last, I was a happy Farang at last. That evening was one of the best in my life, I had played my part almost to perfection, except that I lost at pool.
Jeab was still jealous, once I was in the bar with the girl I went off with after Jeab left me and with my informant. I took my informant to dinner and Jeab rings to see if the other girl was with us, she was not. Some days later I was passing the bar and I indicated that I was not going to my room but elsewhere, one of the girls came out to see where I was going, she hung about until I got into a taxi with some other girls from another bar, I waved to her as we left to go to Country Road, we had a great time.
I could also see clearly that it was highly inconvenient for Jeab to have me in Bangkok the same time as her other sponsor. If I had stayed in Saraburi she could have juggled us around quite easily. But in Bangkok we both used the same bar on soi 22. I could also see why I was the one who had to go. I stayed at a cheap guesthouse, he stayed in the Imperial Queens Park hotel, he had a taste for fine wine and vintage champagne, he was loaded with money and I was on a budget. I was a 20k sponsor he was a 30k sponsor. I was not planning on buying her more gold, she already had enough from me. I was not planning on flying her to Chiang Mai and I had told her that I was not planning on buying her a hairdressing business. With five sponsors left she was still queen of the bar, but she lost face this time. She is still planning to find another sponsor to make up her lost 20k sponsor.
I can also now understand why the other girls tended not to talk to me when I was on the bar on my own when Jeab had left me to go to Buriram. I was Jeab’s sponsor and she was queen of the bar and they were afraid of her, if I bar-fined one of them they would get into trouble with Jeab. One girl was horrified that Jeab had left me to go to Buriram. She had more important business than seeing “sick sister”, she was with another sponsor.
This is a horror story!