Stickman Readers' Submissions September 15th, 2004

A Letter To Stick

You can caption this submission “A Letter To Stick”. We will probably never meet. But you have been a valuable friend, so I feel that I should write. I first visited Thailand in 1995. It changed my life.

I'm average looking, at best, by Southern California standards. I used to have little self confidence. I judged myself harshly.

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Thailand cured me of my lack of confidence. After Thailand, I became confident of my appearance and my sexuality. I went from being sexually timid, to being sexually confident. A man needs to be in charge. Take a woman and hold her the way
you want to hold her. Lead her. A woman wants that. That finally sunk in after Thailand. I slept with more different women in a few weeks in Thailand than I’d sleep with in 1 or 2 years in the States.

But Thailand was more than a belated maturation of my sexuality. I caught the fever. The kid in the candy store fever. Which woman will I have sex with tonight? No matter how beautiful, fun, and great in bed the woman was, the next night,
I’d look for something even better. Sometimes I wouldn’t find that new woman, and would go back to see if the previous night’s girl was still waiting for me. More often, I’d end up with someone new.

After returning from my second trip to Thailand, I met a beautiful woman back home. Asian, born in Asia, moved to the U.S. for college. College educated, professional, divorced. But after my trips to Thailand, she was nothing special to me
at first. An 8, or 8 1/2, in physical appearance (by my subjective standards, and all of our standards of physical beauty are subjective). In Thailand, I was always in search of 9's or 10's.

Amazingly, she fell hard in love for me, and treated me like a king. I was in the States being treated better than any Thai girl ever treated me, by an intelligent, articulate, trustworthy, professional, financially independent and very attractive
woman. Still, I was not hooked on her. I had the fever.

Your site helped cure the fever. Not all at once. Slowly. And the fever has yet to subside completely. I’ve visited Thailand about 10 times, but never for longer than a few weeks. The readers’ submissions, (once manageable enough to read
most of them, now an overwhelming flow), has helped put the Thai experience in perspective. I am grateful for your site, and for the service you have provided. I believe now that if I’d continued to pursue satisfaction of my “fever”,
it would eventually run an ugly course of disillusionment and diminished happiness. I’ve known for many years that I was very lucky to find the woman who is now my wife. Letting go of the fever, without letting it run its course, was still
very hard. Your site helped, and I’m grateful for that.

When I first visited Thailand, the internet was in its infancy. With sites like yours, a person can now visit Thailand vicariously, through reading others’ experiences, which is what I now do. This is an odd benefit to highlight, given
that the proliferation of web sites about Thailand has increased the number of male tourists visiting primarily to meet Thai women. The number of beautiful women working in the bar scene, by my subjective standards of beauty, declined from my
first visit in 1995 to my last visit in 2003. Whether the internet and / or an increase in male tourists is responsible for that, or some other cause is responsible, is difficult to figure out.

Stick, good luck in your future endeavors. One mild criticism to share: your column is sometimes too stuck in the perspective of an English teacher. You should remember that you’ve got a much wider readership than just ex-pat English

And to all your readers: good luck finding a woman that you can trust, and share your life with. Expecting to get that out of a bar girl is like expecting to pay your next month’s rent by buying a lottery ticket.

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Stickman’s thoughts:

Good to hear that you have found happiness.

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