Readers' Submissions

White Women

  • Written by Jason
  • June 29th, 2004
  • 8 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Slagging off white women has become such a national sport among the white male chauvinists and misogynists out there, in the interests of fairness, I feel obliged to present the opposing view. Namely, putting the case for white women. Hope this not damning with faint praise, as I never thought I'd be doing this.

This is an attempt to contrast and compare the strengths and weaknesses of British women (and by implication white Western women) and Thai women (and by implication, certain Asian women) from a Western male perspective. A long-term relationship tends to begin with a first date, so unless white women in general and Brit chicks in particular change their "it's cool to hate men" attitude and clean up their act, they just won't be getting to first base. In which case they'd better get used to holding each other's hand. In Thailand and Japan, Western women have a rude awakening. However pretty they are, generally speaking foreign men are just not interested.

In a Christian culture, basically advanced capitalist country (Japan's something of a special case but well worth exploring), until fairly recently white women thought they had the market cornered. But in the last 30 odd years the middle-class went international, and white blokes suddenly had a lot more choice. Also, a hell of a lot more "other races" women came to live in the UK. Unfortunately however, they soon became indoctrinated with the white woman attitude.

Recently though, football has opened up the rest of the world to guys that previously never went beyond package tours to Europe and the US. Naturally they made comparisons, "the beer, the women, the food." So once they got their head round the idea, the notion of a Brit wife and living the rest of your natural in the UK started to look like an image of hell.

Men tend to think short-term: "She's pretty, she's sexy, she easy to talk to, I always have a good time with her, she's bit of alright when it comes to playing the bedroom scene". So on a first date comparison, the English-speaking Thai or Japanese lady comes out well ahead on points. And when in the '70's the English teaching scene came up on the radar as a means of financial support until you established yourself, the paid employment problem was cracked. Career, who needs one, because in Japan in the late '80's my ambition was gross income of one million dollars US in one calendar year. No way that was available in the UK short of the stocking mask method. So that was the scenario: Work in Japan, chill in Thailand.

Realise the raciest overtones of this, but face it racism runs through Britain like Blackpool through rock. Raciest Brit men would not consider marrying anything other than a white woman, preferably another Brit They might stretch a point to say US citizen, but would never consider a woman of a different race. Which means they are stuck with white women, unless they are prepared to give those pretty boys a second look. Looks like there is some justice in the world after all.

Let's look at the ways a cultured, well-educated white woman is far superior to a borderline third world, English-as-a-distant-second-language "native girl". Unfortunately, as far as Britain is concerned, top-drawer women are no more than 20% of the female population, if that. Then you are essentially looking at the 21-30-age range. However, if you do get on her short list, this is what you can expect for your money.

She:

– has qualifications and a range of marketable skills which can be used to secure a good income, often internationally. However, this is not a given, as upper class Brits. still tend to believe good manners are preferable to good education.

– often has second language skills (if you speak three languages you are tri-lingual, if you speak one you are English)

– can use all the latest hi-tech toys, including computer, media technology, software, plus all modern domestic appliances

– can drive and be responsible for her own car (sometimes, Land Rover and trailer skills)

– is not extravagant and wasteful

– can play the gracious hostess thus to further your career

– can/may be able to cook, but at least has table manners

– can drink without losing control

– follows world events and can hold her own in intellectual discussion and debate, earning respect from business and social contacts.

– can interact with authority without being overawed

– can delegate keeping tradesmen at arms length (does not take wooden nickels more than once)

– will share your values and aspirations, understanding the rightness of a quality education

– has obvious integrity

– will present you with healthy children usually without birth defects, which will be accepted in first-world culture

– can be expected to be a good mother, or at least stop the kids from getting under foot and/or disgracing you, reducing need for expensive therapy later

– can offer a range of contacts through family, school, church, horse riding and university to further your career, assuming you break into the big league

– can be taken anywhere including internationally, quickly becoming a bona-fide member of an ex-pat community

– is likely to inherit property in the fullness of time

It is so unfortunate that Western men do not apply the above criteria when making their choice of life partner. Because face it, a wife is a live-in business partner. In fact without a full, physical relationship, that's all she is. One major drawback of a Brit woman is that when playing the bedroom scene her heart is just not in. Of course she'll give the impression she enjoys it at first or at least until after you are married. But your goals are different: She's looking for husband fodder, you just want to know if she swallows. She will, increasingly grudgingly perform what she seea as her wifely duty on a twice weekly basis (if you keep her sweet), but clearly works on the assumption that the purpose of sex is procreation not recreation. Remember the joke about the Frenchman accused of necrophilia? "I thought she was English". If only she had the sense to appreciate a man's needs and cut him a little slack. She will accept no deviation to the "keep you only unto her" vow, even after it's separate bedrooms. She just can't accept that providing there's negligible emotional involvement, a husband getting sex elsewhere is not adultery, the poor guy's just getting laid. I mean come on girls, this is somewhat dog in the manger, isn't it? Giving him a night off once a month is not going to kill you. In fact it's not much more than putting the car in for a service. And a lot cheaper, those Porsche garages can charge like a wounded rhino.

As her enthusiasm for providing the home comforts wanes, her addiction for nagging as an outward manifestation of anger transference increases. She's upset and frustrated a lot of the time, so she takes it out on the nearest target, namely her main man. Ask her how the anger management classes are working out, and she's just as likely to head-butt you. What is really unfair is she not nagging to make you change or improve, she just wants to rake up your past mistakes and indiscretions to make herself feel better. Now that is even more immature than coming into the bathroom while you're taking a bath and sinking all your boats.

So when a Brit male hits Bangkok for the first time he thinks he's gone to paradise without going through the distasteful process of "dying". His problem is he was programmed to treat women with some semblance of respect, so finds it difficult to follow the standard "fuck um and forget um" advice that has become part of male chauvinist banter.

The downside of a long-term relationship with a Thai woman is that sooner or later you'll catch yourself thinking: "She's pretty and she's sexy, she's a good cook, but God is she thick." In fact so thick, she doesn't know what she doesn't know. But with it a lippy, third-world arrogance.

Somewhat unfair to expect her to have first-world attributes and values, because basically she's third world. When you speak Thai as well as she speaks English (or other European language), you may be entitled to criticise her English fluency skills, but until then shut it. Except for perhaps the cooking and generally a better and more loving attitude, the Thai woman cannot compete with a white woman on any of the above points. But better and more loving attitude; that's compensates for a hell of a lot. However, keep in mind she may have a past, which could come back and haunt you both. At the company Christmas party, you only want to president so say to Madame: Haven't we met somewhere before?"

Obviously effective while you reside in Thailand, where she interfaces between you and the Thai-speaking world, but the sad truth is she doesn't travel well. Of course there are exceptions, so if you find a truly international Thai lady, just thank whatever god you still worship that you lucked out and she took pity on you.

So as a compromise, may I suggest that young men that aspire to make their fortune in the colonies, to set course for the Land of the Rising Sun (cue sound of striking gong and "Sakura" theme music).

Stickman’s thoughts:

Too many generalisations. There may be some truth in it, but having been away from the West for a good while now, I just don't know.