Through The Gauntlet To Heaven
I am a normal guy in most respects. I have been blessed with a wonderful job which provides the opportunity to travel the world, enjoy a vast amount of freedom, and make decent money to boot. I began travelling Asia about four years ago and have since
visited BKK over twenty times. I found myself captivated by the charms of SE Asia and quickly discovered, not unlike many of us, that I no longer had any desire for western woman.
Before anybody jumps on their bandwagon, this is merely my opinion; Thai ladies are all around the most beautiful women on the face of this planet. Most Thai ladies take very good care of themselves, they are feminine, fun, good sense of humor and adventure, most are not overweight, they are not obnoxious, loud, nor do they make any attempt to change you (not that I have experienced anyway), and finally, but certainly not least, they take good care of the man they love.
I survived what I personally refer as the gauntlet; I do not have HIV/AIDS, my most treasured body part was not sacrificed only to become an ingredient within an evil brew of tom yum soup, and I am not yet pushing daisies. I met a beautiful young lady in Singapore a few years back at the infamous “four floors of whores (FFW)”. She brought me for a ride I will never forget, nor for which I will ever forgive myself. Although I still believe she did love me (I also believe it was not her initial intention), she was the one through which I learned about the “crazy, insanely jealous, and selfish Thai girls” I understand so well now; these girls are the best salespeople I know.
During my search for my perfect lady I would, at times, feel drawn back to those ladies I knew were not right for me. I would think back to the time I spent with the little girl from FFW and it would rock me back to reality. For instance, I recall a night at CM2 for a night of drinking and dancing with her and her friends. I am having a great time and begin talking to one of her friends and her potential suitor when my lady flies off the handle in a fit of jealousy (I had spoke with this couple for no more than 2 minutes); to this day I still do not know why she reacted this way. My lady then proceeds to grab my beer bottle and smash it against the mirror placed as a back drop behind the bar. Interestingly enough, she was not removed from CM2; I guess this is a normal occurrence. There were a few other instances such as when I had to call security at my hotel to have her removed in my fear she may destroy the entire room or something worse, or when her threats to remove my “brother” forced me to steal and hide her razor knife prior to retiring for the night. I must thank her though, she did help me see the light.
Two years ago I made a decision to find the love of my life. I knew what I wanted in a lady and I set my expectations very high. Some of the attributes I sought are not easily found in a Thai lady such as being independent, very well educated, not too jealous, and possessing a high amount of confidence. The lady I was seeking must also be very attractive, sexy, fun, not wanting children of our own, and we must have much in common. I also realized that age was an important factory; I chose to seek out woman no more that 15 years younger than myself but knew that no greater than 10 years difference would probably result in a more successful, long-lasting relationship. Further, and most important to me, she must be 100% trustworthy with respect to us, me, financially, and my children (from a failed marriage). Finally, she must possess the intestinal fortitude to attend events (related to my children) given my x-wife would probably be present.
How would I find this lady? I had jumped from every bar I knew of in am attempt to find a candidate with no real luck. I am a nice looking guy, carry myself and dress well, not over the hill (yet), and in good physical shape but still no luck. I needed a quick way of wading through all the BS as I cannot spend months in the LOS. I began my search through the internet and identified a dating service which appeared fairly reputable and organized. I sent e-mails to the first 10 ladies I chose and then narrowed it down to 2-3 whom I attempted to speak with over the phone (Add new criteria: Must speak English well). I then arranged for “meetings/dates” prior to arrival. Met all three and ended with one whom I would communicate but was really not happy with her either. I went through this process two more times, had all but given up hope but I was learning what to look for and defining in my mind what I really wanted, but I was losing hope.
I visited the dating service web site every other day waiting for the new ladies to be posted in the hopes that “she” would be there. I was very selective at this point because I was feeling guilty about breaking the hearts of the ladies that fell in love with me after three e-mails (how can you fall in love with somebody you don’t even know – Great Salespeople – what a bunch of BS). A new day and a new group of ladies were posted on the web site of which one looked very interesting. She had an MBA from the US, possessed all the qualities I was seeking, and there was only a seven year age difference between us.
The first time I spoke with her it was like a breath of fresh air. She was articulate, intelligent, not pushy, and possessed all the qualities I could hope for. She never once “chased” me or tried to hold me down from speaking with other ladies. We spoke for several months until we would finally be able to meet, and to be honest, I was still a little skeptical.
I was flying in from Seoul having cut my trip there short so I could meet her sooner. I called her at home at 10:30 PM upon my arrival and she insisted to meet me at my hotel (she was under the impression I would not arrive until the next day). I was all nerves – a possible climax to a long search? Would it be a big let down?
I arrived at the hotel, jumped in the shower, drank two very quick beers to sooth my anxiety, and proceeded to wait in the hotel lobby. Upon her arrival I was flabbergasted, she was a vision of pure beauty, grace, and complete confidence. I was now at ease and we proceeded to talk for hours.
We had spoken for months prior to my arrival and I had learned much about her as she had me. However, the comments she made over the next week continued to amaze and delight me. She never showed any signs of the “crazy jealousy” that I had experienced in the past. For instance, when I glanced at a beautiful lady she would say, “I understand, there are many beautiful woman in Bangkok”.
How could I be so lucky! She has more in common with me than any other person I have ever met. She is intelligent, beautiful, calm, confident, sexy, very successful; she is everything I have always wanted.
We spent a wonderful week together that first trip. I have never been so happy but I was also becoming very nervous about the future. How could she be so perfect? Can I trust her? Can I trust myself? Oh God, I was falling head over heels in love with this beautiful lady. I actually broke off the relationship several weeks after my arrival back to the US over my unfounded and exaggerated fears.
For me, the “break-up” lasted for hours before I fell back to consciousness with the realization that I may lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not so easy, I was dealing with a very confident and independent woman here whom would not put up with BS. She said it was over for weeks on end, and then months, but I was very determined. I called her every single day; OK – maybe several times per day. She continued to profess it was over. But I had a good feeling, we were still good friends.
She has a business visa to visit the US so I invited her to come and visit for a few weeks. She accepted immediately and I felt I was back on track to win her trust, and her heart. Her arrival was very emotional, yet very comfortable. We spent a few weeks together and had a wonderful time. We gave each other our hearts and made our commitments.
I visited Thailand a few months later to meet her parents. I asked for her hand in marriage (the most nervous I have ever been) and I was accepted. She then came back to the US with me for a month to await our wedding in BKK. Her parents are wonderful people, very understanding and modern thinking.
We are married now and living in the States. I really cannot see two people being more connected. I am very lucky and thank God everyday for her and us. I experienced, I learned, I established a plan, and I found the perfect lady.
There are many wonderful ladies to be found in Thailand, it just takes time and objective thinking. Set your expectations high and be patient.
Great story. Great advice.