My Evolution Of Thought
This article is about my ideas of Thailand and how they have changed over three years. When I first visited Thailand in the fall of 2002, I counted down the days from 100 all the way to 1. I could not wait to get into Bangkok. I was obsessed with seeing Nana Plaza for the first time. I had read Stickman’s “Naughty Nightlife” section several times over trying to catch any new information I might have missed the previous times. I could not get enough of reading about Bangkok. As my first trip approached I was incredibly excited.
When I finally arrived in Bangkok I literally ran from the gate to the money exchange place to the customs to the taxi area…where I had to wait for ten minutes (yes, an eternity at the time) and when I finally told them then name of my hotel (Nana) the girls chuckled to themselves. I could not have cared less, I was there. I got into the taxi and damn, I forgot to tell the driver take the tollway…it was 5:00 PM and it took me one and a half hours to get to my hotel. Ugggh I was not that happy. Anyways got to my hotel and I was HAPPY and incredibly excited about my first night in Bangkok. I went to TGI Fridays for a light snack and a couple pints beer…then it was time for NEP. Well I must have had first timer written all over me went into my first Go-Go Bar and I was hooked on her (let’s just call her Pei). I spent three hours in the same Go-Go that night spending easily $150.00 dollars on drinks for me, girls at the bar, fellow patrons, hell anybody that entered the door. Then onto the hotel for the nasty…which I have no recollection of at all. Oh well I know I must have had fun. The next three days was spent with Pei in a glorious daze of excitement. She showed me her apartment that she shared with her “sister.” Not any place you would want to live I guarantee it. We talked about all sorts of stuff ranging from the color of her hair to the Bangkok dogs you see wasting away on many streets. It was great. Then…
I was to meet her on my third night at the hotel at 6:00 PM. Well to me 6:00 PM is 6 PM. I tend to be quite anal about time that way. It was 6:10 and no Pei so I walked to the front of the hotel and waited for Pei and drank a beer. While I was sitting there another cutie sat next to me and being as generous as I had become I bought her a drink…well one led to 5. And still no Pei…I told the new girl I wanted to bar fine her. I had to get something (probably more money) at my hotel room. Well walking through the lobby I heard a scream “David, who is that?” Damn it was Pei. So here I am with my first love Pei and my second love (what is her name anyways?). I told Pei I waited for her and she didn’t show so I met another girl. That was not a good enough explanation for her. So I told her let’s go up to my room and talk about it. I told the new girl to go back to the bar and wait for me. Well after a lot of tears (not mine) and pouting I went with Pei again that night. But it wasn’t the same as the previous nights. She was calling me a “butterfly” and acting frigid to say the least. After about a half-hour of this I told her to get her stuff from my room and leave. She acted like she didn’t care and I know she probably didn’t. She got enough money out of me and was happy to move onto her next trick. I never went back to that girl I had earlier barfined I just went to another Go-Go and found a suitable replacement. I missed Pei a little but hell there were replacements. Well on to the rest of my first trip. It pretty much can be summed up by the usual stories about barfining and being a “butterfly” that are frequently reported on this website.
So I am choosing to focus on my next several trips to LOS. Upon departure from Bangkok on my first trip I was already making plans for my next trip. My next trip was to be four months later. I planned to go to Bangkok and Phnom Penh. It was a good trip. My third trip in less than a year was to Bangkok and Pattaya. It was a good trip. My fourth trip in less than a year was good at first and then I felt it…my impression of LOS was changing and I didn’t like it one bit. Instead of looking at all the bargirls with lust, I was feeling sad for them and wondering what it was like to have to sell oneself for money. I also thought a lot about myself. I realized that going to Thailand and paying for sex was something I was not proud of. I realized that I was becoming so different from my friends and family when I returned to the states that I could no longer relate to their lives. In short I was having something I always viewed cynically as not possible, a personal breakdown. It sucked! Quickly I planned on how I could return to my good old days (less than a year ago) of whoring without conscience. I decided I needed a break.
Two years later I returned to Thailand with two weeks of whoring planned. I left from Tokyo with great anticipation on my last leg of my trip. I could feel that old feeling coming back to me. I had a drink at the airport and enjoyed. Upon arriving in BKK I felt reborn with great anticipation. I rushed to my hotel, took a shower and left for Nana. I sat down in my first Go-Go and enjoyed. Over the next week I frequented many bars but I was able to regain the feeling of my first few trips. I was looking at the girls in the bars with pity, not lust. The girls seemed dirty to me. Looking around I viewed men not having fun, girls that were bored and generally an atmosphere of depression. I did not want to be there, the girls did want to be there, and the men, well they were there as a result of their past (probably not one I would wish on my worst enemy).
Now I sit here at my computer writing the final episode to my three year LOS adventure. I often think about what has changed over the past three years and why did my impressions of LOS change so much? I have come to the conclusion that if you enjoy “the scene” for an extended period of time more power to you. For me I will not be returning to LOS again (at least to whore around).
I was in the lobby of the Nana Hotel earlier this week waiting for a friend who came a little late. I overheard a conversation between three Westerners who were trying to outdo each other over who had been coming to Thailand the longest and whose memory went back to certain events in the evolution of the farang oriented bar scene. One guy reckoned he had made over 50 trips here! Surely, it gets boring, eventually?