Readers' Submissions

Marriage Without Sex, Kisses Or Cuddles

  • Written by Stick
  • May 17th, 2004
  • 4 min read

Anonymous Submission


Six and a half years ago I decided that I had had enough of being alone and single. I was never short of girlfriends, but could never hold a long term relationship down which I so desperately wanted to. I was 54 years of age and did not want to contemplate being on my own for the rest of my life. I had been married twice before, once for 11 years and now had 3 grown up children and 8 grandchildren. A friend had married a Filipino lady after going through an agency and he was very happy, I decided I would do the same it would be Filipino or Thai.

I travelled to the far east (S.E Asia). I landed in Thailand and having read an ad in the tourist magazine I got in touch with an introduction agency in Bangkok. I was introduced to Thai etiquette and culture before taking out 6 young ladies to dinner over the 3 weeks I had to spend there. They all seemed very materialistic and not very interested in me as a person. I had promised myself not to go back to the UK without having got married.

A couple of days before flying home I was introduced to one more lady on the recommendation from the wife (Thai) of the proprietor of the agency. The lady was chaperoned by her friend and could not speak a word of English but there was something different about her in comparison to the other girls. She seemed to be very caring, a hard worker, (domestic in a Thai hospital) and declined any presents I wanted to buy her because she was so nice. I was smitten by her and after knowing her for 5 days asked her to marry me to which she replied yes.

We were married at the Amphur in Bangkok and a few days later we went to her village to have a Thai custom wedding, armed with 90,000 baht and 9 baht of gold we took a plane to Phitsanulok with 3 of her friends. We then got a mini bus which took 2 hours to get to the village. When we arrived I could not get out of the bus as there was all the village surrounding the bus as they had never seen a Farang before. We were married and I went back to England and put in for a marriage visa and came back for her 3 months later

After being in England for about a week she landed a job in the local Thai restaurant. There was one thing in our marriage that was disturbing me. My wife did not enjoy sex. I thought this was because we were newly wed. We had sex for the first year, (we have now been married for over 6 years ) and for the last 5 years we have not had sexual relations nor do I get any kisses or cuddles unless I make the first move. My relationship with the Thai family is built on love and not money, although we both financed mother's funeral and nephew's wedding, but my wife works as hard as I do, maybe harder.

2 years ago I decided enough was enough and I would get a divorce and marry again (Thai). I was getting more satisfaction from watching blue movies and masturbation than any sex I had had with my wife in the first year of marriage. It was a year ago that I decided I was allowed to cheat with bargirls in Bangkok and Pattaya. I am totally addicted to Thailand. We have a house and car over there and I wander what I am doing here back in UK? One of the reasons is my Mum aged 91 whom my sister partly takes care of but request I go up (Liverpool) when she needs a break or holiday. I recently came back from Thailand to spend a weekend with my Mum, breaking off an extended holiday in Thailand.

My sister in law who takes care of our house and car in Thailand told me she knew of my sexploits in Bangkok and how she agreed with me because my wife (her sister) had something wrong in the nether regions. Because of her limited English I did not understand the problem she described but she did promise to keep secret my escapades and agreed with me fully, so did her husband. My wife thinks I go to Bangkok to stay with friends.

Unfortunately I fall in love too easy with the girls I meet in the bars (I also have girls who are just friends in the bar because I frequent so often the same bar). I have not yet succumbed to sending money to any of these girls, but I am seriously thinking of taking a second wife in Thailand? I am writing this with selfish reasons as I am hoping there may be someone else out there who has had the same experience as me and has found a happy solution. I would welcome all comments and help.

Stickman's thoughts:

Predetermined, rushed decisions don't always turn out how we expect. I'd say quite simply that you married this woman too early. 5 days? It's not a record, but it is pretty bloody fast!