Tool Old, Man, Too Old
Too Old, Man, Too Old
Some folks are probably gonna call me mean for writing this one, but since I mean it, I might as well write it. There was a reader submission titled ? May as well shot myself ? Recently, where the author explains in detail why he is a victim, and how you are fucked up because you are a farang, and how unfair it all is. A nasty story of a farang done in by thai people banding together against him just for being a farang. I would like to present an other view on the same story, based on the clues left in the text. (Not trying to excuse the girl – she seems a real psycho). Not saying it's factual, but from the article, that's how I imagine the scene.
KK – the author – says that he used to be in the US marines in his twenties, then explain he's been beaten to blood by his wife, an ex-bargirl that he previously described as ? Cute ?. Meaning he used to be trained intensively for fighting and has been thoroughly beaten by a 40 Kg nothing girl. Either our guy is either very seriously handicapped or his twenties are very very long gone – or the Thai bar girl is a world class wrestling champion, but I doubt anyone would term her ? Cute ? If that was the case.
In other words, what we are talking about here is the typical old wreck ? Married ? To a bargirl not half his age, the like we all have seen hanging around the scene. Disgusting*, by many standards and not only ours. Don't think the Thai people view it much differently – they don't.
Police comes in a scene to find an old farang, blood everywhere and a young girl crying that she has been assaulted by the old bastard. She is a bargirl, so I assume she must know how to lie, and by the time the guys in brown come, she probably even convinced herself of her own story. The old farang is covered in blood, probably out of his temper as well and offers them a few hundred baths upfront (meaning he recognizes that he has done something wrong). While the Thai police is not exactly incorruptible, this type of situation is far from ? Forgetting ? To put your seat belt on, and the chances of them accepting a bribe are minimal to start with, let alone a lousy few hundred baths.
Where do I wanna go with that submission? Simply that I disagree with that way of seeing things:
1. The Thai way is not ? If being a weasel gets me out of a fix, that's all right ?. Most Thai people I know of wouldn't handle it that way. The thai way -as far as I have seen – is to keep calm, under control, smile, discuss, sort the situation out as smoothly as possible and make sure you get your own back later whenever you get a chance. Yes, on that case, paying the bracelet was the only issue, but that's because the situation was mishandled from the start.
2. I don't know Kansas, but Thailand is about as safe as can be providing you respect the laws and customs. Remember the customs (the way people think things should be) in practice often have more weight then the law. As an old guy married to a young girl, you are in the wrong in regards to customs. As a man not being able to exert some control over your wife, you are again in the wrong. You don't speak your wife's language, it ain't optimal, that's for sure. You got married to a bargirl? Misuse of equipment. They are not marriage material.
You don't break any *law*, but you mess with
* customs*, and that puts you in a bad position. You try to bribe the police upfront, while upset about the situation ? That's not the way. You can't handle police when upset. Period. Offer them a few hundred baths upfront and you make them loose face – who do you think they are?.
A thai guy in that same position (old, decrepit, without connections and married with an ugly bargirl
– she is dark skinned, right?) Would be in deep shit as well, his only saving grace being the language. Being farang is not the main item here. Just the icing on the cake.
3. You are NOT automatically wrong because you are a farang, and you should not be scared to call the police yourself. In my experience, most of the guys in brown are reasonably nice people and they have a very positive ? A priori ? Toward the person who calls them, on the rationale that if you call them, then you must be in the right. In my short two years here, I have always been treated rather fairly by the police.
The ? .and if you never would have come to Thailand in the first place, your head would never have been in the proximity of the punch she threw, thus . ? Is just plain BS – a good joke, but BS nonetheless. I seem to remember that this is an explanation coming straight from ? Private Dancer ?. (Great book BTW)
Yes, sad story, but all I can say is ? Som nam na ?. Anyway, where else can you get to even touch a nice young girl, given your physical state?
On the other end, I agree with a couple conclusions :
1. Marry a bargirl that's only interested in your money (95% redundancy in that phrase, I would guess) and you will find yourself in deep shit.
2. You are better off with a girl that doesn't screw people for money every evening.
* Now for older, Danalike, people, I assume that many of you will disagree with that statement. There is nothing wrong or disgusting for a 70 years old wreck to marry a girl that could have been his grand daughter, right ? After all, he must be ? Jai dee mak mak? And full of experience and knowledge (and perhaps have a bit of money on the side, who knows)?
I won't argue – what's the point – but let me ask you something. Remember when you were in your twenties? Oh, sure, you thought then that it was all right, but that's not my question. My question is this : Would you have dated or even married a 70 years old decrepit woman that doesn't even speak your language? Be honest. And if you would have, what would have been your motives? Love or money?
If the girl accepts that situation, you can be pretty sure she expects compensation and that she is ready to violate quite few moral codes to get what she wants
– and that's part of the job description. From the viewpoint of an older person, that's probably better then being alone, but then you know what sacrifice you are asking the girl and have to be ready for the bullshit.
There are a few cases whereas the person is old but still young at heart, able bodied, full of life, and manages to seduce younger women on his personality and charisma alone. I know some of them. Nothing wrong with that in my book – that's great – but that's very, very far for the norm too.
Most of the time, the girl hooks up with the wreck ? Doing her time ? Until the guy dies and leave her with a bunch of dough, and I guess she is quite commonly active in speeding the process up, and so is the family. That's part of the deal. You get her company and touch that firm skin under your fingers and she gets your life/money. That's is the deal and there is no need to complain about her doing her part. IMO, enjoy what you can or don't get into this kind of deal at all, but please, please, save us the "that's because I am a farang" BS.
Ouch, you just upset quite a few people!