Stickman Readers' Submissions April 16th, 2004

Thai Ladies And Communication

By Mr Happy

My reason for writing this letter is with the hope that it may cause some men who are infatuated with only Thai ladies to:

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1. Reconsider their choice of woman if they are not happy, or if they have any communication issues.

– and or –

2. To open their mind to the possibility that their personality may be much better matched, to some other nationality of lady.

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For me being infatuated with Thailand led me to the incorrect conclusion that my experience and love for Thailand, would directly translate to its women and a happy relationship with one of them. Now after a few years of suffering from the "Thai Girls are Perfect Virus", I am fully recovered, and I can look back at these years, and see my faulty thinking.

Instead of going into why I fell for the Thai ladies charms in the first place, I prefer here to instead to focus on the "cure". The appeal of Thai ladies to falang men has been repeated ad nauseum on this web site, by every guy with a sex drive. The cure however, and alternatives are rarely discussed, I do remember Stickman touching on the subject once, by quoting some men who stated women from Singapore make better wives. In my case the cure for Thai ladies was a 30 year old Philippine teacher living in HK, in her I re-discovered concepts, and ideas, simply impossible to experience for me at all while I was involved with Thai ladies. I am referring to concepts like:

"Communication" "Honesty" "Commitment" "Fairness"

And most importantly: "Love"

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To be fair maybe I just ended up with a "long run of bad luck" with the Thai ladies who I was involved with. All these ladies however were from good families, all had college degrees from Thai universities, and all had what seemed to be good families. But certain problems in the relationships kept repeating with each one, the number one problem being; Communication Problems…….

In spite of sometimes heroic measure to try to open channels of communication with these Thai ladies, I seemed to be up against a culture which conflicted with my inner concept, of what communication is. Even after knowing one sweet Thai lady for over a year and a half, her heart and soul still remained a mystery to me. When I expressed my concerns about poor communication in our relationship to her (In a nice way of course, so that she would not loose face) she still seemed incapable of comprehending the very concept, and she appeared not to have a clue about what I wanted from her? I then wrote to Mrs. Stickman for advice on this one, but I never got a reply, I assume the column was full. So my feeling was if communication between her and I could not be improved, then what is the point? Especially when no-one can figure out why, or let alone how to fix it, so I terminated the relationship.

This has led me to my hypotheses, that maybe within Thai culture; Open and honest communication, from my viewpoint, is simply absent between men and women in Thailand. Maybe within Thai culture there are other mechanisms, or subtle ways in which they communicate these things. Ways of communication that I simply do not have a clue about, or which exists outside of my sphere of perception, or comprehension?

I had a conversation reference Thai ladies, and communication problems with a man this week. I spoke with an ethnic Chinese man who lives in Kuala Lumpur. He told me about his ex Thai fiance, with whom he had a relationship lasting for about 2 years. He stated that communication in their relationship was no better after two years, than it was after the first two weeks (Sound familiar???). So my perception of communication problems with Thai women is also shared by a Chinese man from Malaysia, who is the product of a completely different culture than I, yet he reached the same conclusions???

Hey guys, bottom line expand your horizons!!!! Give the ladies from other places an equal footing, my guess is that it may be your happiness which you will find if you do. And if then you still want a Thai lady, then I wish you the best, and a very happy life. Just do not put all your eggs into the same basket like I did before, and suffer through relationships with lousy communication.

I am now very happy, and so much in love with my Philippina fiancee who I met by simply by chance, but she opened my hear and mind very fast. Now I have no interest anymore in Thai ladies, communication is now easy, free flowing, and sincere. Perhaps most important:

"All those little doubts, questions, and second thoughts that I thought were a normal part of a relationship, now have evaporated like magic, and have now been replaced by a warm fuzzy feeling of security and trust."

Take Care, and Keep Da Mind Open……… "Mr. Happy"

Stickman says:

GREAT stuff! There are more than a few things about Thai women which are less than ideal. Where many guys find themselves drooling over the physical characteristics, you have had the guts to actually point out that Thai women are NOT perfect. No single race of women are perfect. Sure, Thai women look great, have retained their femininity when many women from other cultures have let that go and have a certain grace and charm that many women lost a long time ago. They might also be attentive in ways that turns many men into putty in their hands. But they have their faults too. And when one is looking at long term relationships, some of the points you have raised here should set the alarm bells ringing, because it is the presence of the characteristics that you mentioned that will see a relationship through the bad times. The absence of them could make things very difficult indeed.

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