Readers' Submissions

Soi 6 in Pattaya – Attempts To Get Laid

  • Written by Boy George
  • April 21st, 2004
  • 3 min read



It must be said that I have met some very wonderful and generous ladies over here in Thailand, who have exceeded my every expectation. I just had a bad run in this following story which I thought I would share about my first attempt to use a short time bar.

Attempt # 1

I walk past a bar with lovely ladies outside enticing me in. I am tempted." How much is a beer Chang"? I ask.

"45 baht" I am told.

"45 baht"? I ask. "Si sip ha baht"?
"Yes, 45 baht". I enter the bar and order a beer Chang. A young lady discusses going upstairs with her…the cost will be 200 baht to the bar for the use of the room, and 500 baht to her for 1 hour.

Okay.. I have never tried Short time in a bar before, so will give it a go. I ask for the bill…the beer Chang is 65 baht. I explain to the bar manager that I checked twice with his staff and they told me "beer Chang is 45 baht" …he explains to me (Duuuuhhhhh) that they probably meant that "beer is 45 baht in the supermarket"!

"Oh of course. How stupid of me to assume otherwise", I think.

I tell him this…"if you charge me 45 baht for the beer, I will then give you an additional 200 baht for a room, and I will give this lady here 500 baht. If you charge me 65 baht, I will simply leave and you lose 200 baht and she loses 500 baht". He charged me 65 baht and ordered me out of his bar and never return. So I left, and they lose. Thai logic?

Attempt #2

The next day I revisit the same street, thinking I will try again in a different bar. I am accosted in the street by a tall, sexy, willowy creature who wants to "go with me".

"You are beautiful" I say, "but you have a deep voice like mine – you are lady boy right"?

"Yes, sure".

"No. I not want. I like pussy too much" I say.

She replies "I have pussy too"

There is further discussion in which she assures me that the surgeon has done his work and she is now a functioning woman.

Well…. never one to pass up a new experience, I enter the bar… same deal…200 for the room 500 for her. "

You pay for room now" she requests.

"No" I say "I pay after". I am still suspicious…. We go upstairs to the short time room.
"Ok, show me pussy"…I say. i am still suspicious.

"I suck you good"…she says.

"No, show me pussy"…there is silence…no stripping…just silence…she just sits there on the bed. So I walk out and leave the room and the bar without paying. Why do they do this? It's so frustrating!

Attempt # 3

Another bar down the Soi. Beautiful young lady is topless and looks like a real woman this time. A rate is negotiated…250 for the room, 500 for her for 1 hour. All is good, and the action commences upstairs.

However, after 25 mins, she goes to "pee pee" in the bathroom, returns to the room and proceeds to rub body lotion on her body and starts to get dressed…

"What you do"?…I say

"We go now"? she says…

"No! Only 30 mins. You said 1 hour for 500 baht"

"I thought you were finished" (yeah..right)

"What on earth makes you think that"? "I have not said or done anything to indicate in the slightest that I am finished!!!! I am still lying there naked ready for action.

She apologises and says that most men don't need 1 hour, but she doesn't get back into bed – she just stands there, and so I leave, giving her only 250 baht not 500 (pro rata for the 30 mins).

Land of smiles…….

Stickman says:

Too funny!