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Follow Up To “A Bit Of A Twist”




This is an update of "A Bit Of A Twist" which was posted 23 January 2004.

I was back in Thailand a month or so ago and spent more time with the TG/BG. It helped me to get a lot more perspective on the situation. She hadn't been working and I couldn't understand why, although I was obviously pleased. The trip turned out to be something of a truth telling session. Turns out "Pornchita" has a sponsor, someone who she lost touch with for nearly a year but who came back into her life, a late 40's American banker who comes on business to BKK a few times a year and who sends her irregular payments that average out at 35,000 baht a month. This guy is besotted with her and wants to take her to live in the States, something she emphatically doesn't want to do. She told me she'd seen him in late February when he was in town on business. She said she doesn't love him at all and I couldn't help feeling sorry for the poor sap, being strung along, although the cash is obviously peanuts to him. She's used his money to set up a small business with her friends, selling ornaments and similar stuff in a lock-up near Gaysorn. She also told me she'd been with one customer, another financial type she met at The Hard Rock who paid her a cool 30,000 for 3 nights, saying she wasn't on the lookout that night but he made her a Marlon Brando offer.

The strange thing was, she seemed to imagine that she and I were complicit in this; her getting major cash from these guys in exchange for a few days of screwing that meant nothing to her. When I was able to put this to the back of my mind we had a great time on Samet; laughter and amazing sex all the time. She also talked constantly about our future together; where we'd live, the kids we'd have, but also admitted that she was worried I'd try to control her life too much, she would want to go out sanooking with her friends and I'd try to stop her.

The upshot is that when I got back here to Hong Kong, I had a major think (something I wasn't able to do while under her spell in LOS) and decided to end it. I always considered myself fairly skilled at breaking up with girls but it hasn't gone at all well. She's not been in the least vindictive but has been majorly distraught, bombarding me with heart-wrenching emails and constant "one-ring" phone calls (She still doesn't want to waste money on phone bills). She can't accept my reasoning that our backgrounds and value systems make us incompatible, something I firmly believe. I still love her, though less than before, and have to stop myself from phoning her to see how she is. She's a survivor, though, and in time will come to see me as just another farang who broke a Thai girl's heart with empty promises. That's not quite the case. In the end I think our backgrounds and beliefs made us, as I wrote before, incompatible, and that if I'd pursued things further I'd just have been storing up a whole load of grief. It's a real shame because under other circumstances…well, you know. But if circumstances had been different, she'd never have been serving drinks in a BKK gogo that night last year.

I'm not planning to go back to Thailand for quite some time, despite its proximity; too many fresh memories. Hong Kong ain't exactly short of pretty girls, though and I'm still seeing the "good family" Chinese girl. Who knows what will happen? But despite it all (and despite the cliche) I'll never, ever forget Pornchita. Have I had a lucky escape? Probably, but I wish things could have been just a little different.

Stickman says:

While you cite the belief system differences between the two of you, in many ways, neither of you was totally committed to each other, and I guess that is symptomatic of distance relationships, and no doubt exacerbated by the circumstances under which you met.