Stickman Readers' Submissions March 8th, 2004

Net Girl: My Story

I wrote to Stickman some time ago for advice on the girl I met in a net dating site. It finally has come, the day we meet in person. We have been video chatting for 7 months, and my day has come to see if I’m being scammed and if all is true. After a horrible ordeal of 23 hours of flying and one broken Thai Air jet in London, and a few time zones I arrive 45 mins late, and sweating like a pig.

Day 1:

He Clinic Bangkok

Pao is late, but so am I. I am only waiting 5 minutes in the meeting area. I immediately recognize her, and her I, but I did not realize how small she really was. She is smiling and walking really fast 'hello Paul, I’m so happy', big hug and a kiss on the lips followed by more hugs and giggles. The tension is gone. We go out to find the airport bus that will take us to the bus station for Korat. Then it is back in to book a flight to Ko Somui, but its operated by Bangkok Air so the plan changes to Phuket on Air Asia. Then to a quiet corner to count the cash 49,000 baht. Off to the bus.

We go holding hands, playing like kids, and she is obviously excited that I am here(me too).

So 3 hours to Korat and a tuktuk to the condos up the street from The Mall. Time for food. Tuktuk to The Mall and a few phone calls to her friends to tell them the news, and where to meet. Puk is at work and does not know I’m here, lets go to her shop and see what happens. . . . . . . I sneak up behind her when done with a customer, she turns, looks, wais 'sawasdee oh my god!!!! Paul!!!' Really big bear hug from the very sexy girl in a smart suit, and we are holding hands. Pao has walked away to hide. Puk and I are holding hands, and she thanks me for being so kind to her, and wishes she had a guy like me. We go to the Chinese restaurant where you cook your own food on a small coal heated grill, squid, prawn, and various meats, veggies and spicy crap that is too hot for me. Da shows up (only saw once before), and more hugs followed with Da saying I can be number 10 husband for her. These girls have a very good sense of humor as do I, so I play along. Nid shows up, I never saw her, but she has seen me while chatting, she is short and a cutie. Puk is busy and cannot make it for lunch, after a few hours of playing around we agree on where to start our night, lunch for 4 is 250 baht plus tip.

CBD bangkok

Pao is on my arm like a leech. We walk by one shop and she looks and hides her face 'Thai guy with big crush work there, but I no like'. I need new clothes because I’m in winter mode, new shorts are a go 150 baht. Her friends cannot believe I am 34, they swear I look 24. Mom calls, 'who you with?, you better not be alone with the falang'. Off to the condo for a shower, Pao goes to the toilet and I pull out her birthday present and set it down and say 'here it is'. Pao says 'what the hell are you doing, you don't just say here is your present!, you have to be soft and romance'. She crawls on the bed and so do I, I slip her the box and tell her how happy I am to be here finally. She opens the box, and says 'wow Paul, thank you so much'. I put it on her and then she gives the deep kiss and the bedroom olympics begin. 'You finish?, I finish', time for shower together. Then it is off to Da and Nid's condo.

We arrive, and Puk is there waiting for Da to put on her makeup, more hugs, and off to a pub. We arrive Nid and Noon are waiting. The bar has a lot of military guys there because it is that time of the year. We all have more hugs, finger food and beers (I bought the finger food, the first round, and they bought their own after) they are playing an joking with me, very funny girls and I like it a lot. Puk gives me a big hug and a kiss on the lips, Da asks Pao if she can marry me when her and Puk are tired of me. Da challenges me to play pool so we all move upstairs. We are having shit loads of fun messing each others shots up, ass grabbing just as I shoot. 3 marines are watching these 5 girls pawing all over me and decide to jump in and get some action. They start off by calling Da sweet britches, saying she sucks at pool, they want to fuck her and Puk, along with with a lot of other crude remarks. Da is telling them to go fuck a duck. I tell Pao what they are saying to Puk and Da, Pao says not to worry they know exactly what they are saying, but are playing dumb, Da has a farang b/f and they all always go home alone no matter what. Da loves her man, and they look out for each other so nothing will ever happen. The marines are going to get fucked, but not the way they want, they start making their stupid Canadian jokes because the girls are still mauling me.

After I scratch on the 8 ball and lose to a girl its off to the disco (forget the name splooge?), there is a very good and pretty girl singing on stage with some barely dressed dancers. It is a very good show. Pao is buying all my beers. Its time for payback. A few quick shouts from Da to the beautiful singer in Thai and the show starts. Da holds up 50 baht and the singer bends down and gives Da a very passionate kiss, the singer goes to the marine and says, 'Where you from?'

Oaklahoma Bitch!

wonderland clinic

'You married?'

No!(has a wedding ring still on).

She speaks some Thai in the mic.

'You want to fuck me?'

Hell yeah you whore!

'1000 baht I fuck you' (The guy actually thinks this is going to happen, and waves 1000 baht).

She bends down showing some clevage and takes the money, then motions for him to come kiss her.

He gets 12 inches away and points to the side of her mouth and then kisses her finger and put it on his cheek.

'for 1000 baht your better off fucking your sister, you get nothing from me!'(all in front of a few hundred people in the bar).

She waves the 1000 around as she walks off the stage, and her show is over. Now it is Da's turn, she has him buying her drinks and winds up on stage dirty dancing with him and he is getting really excited. He is telling his friend that he is going to fuck her tonight and is bragging around. The bar closes, and they try to ditch them, but wind up taking them to the hotel on their bikes. He is trying to get Da upstairs, but she will not go. He looks at me and askes me to help convince her to go. We all get ready to split on the bikes and Da stands up repeating everything he said to her at the pub with a few choice words of her own, then we go. Back at Da's apartment she starts to apologize to be over and over 'I so sorry Paul, Please don't think I’m the bad girl I really love my guy, and I never fuck around on him, I so sorry'. I just said it was a good show and they had it coming, and I understand that she is a good girl just having fun. Pao says to me that this is what happens when she says she goes out to the bar so I don't have to think bad things, and Pao does not drink, she stays sober, and they always go home alone. Pao spends the night with me after making sure her friends are all home safe.

Day 2 will continue.

Stickman says:

I've never seen that side of Korat before.

nana plaza