Stickman Readers' Submissions March 20th, 2004

Gone Fishing (In Isaan) Part 4

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We made good time back to our village once we hit the "highway" and were at the house soon enough. Sis made some food to bring out to my wife and her relatives, who were picking rice, for their lunch hour. That is what they take for lunch when working in the fields, one hour for lunch break. Later I'll write more on my experiences in the rice fields. Right now we're talking fishing!

I set up our fishing rods with swivel hooks and stashed them, along with our other gear, in the back of the pick-up. While waiting for Sis I went down the street to the store on the corner by our house. This store should have been MY store. A couple of years ago this place had been a house an old man owned. A fairly new house, though small, that when the old man's son had gone to jail, for some crime I forget at the moment, had forced the old guy to put up for sale. When I had previously noticed the house was empty and had a "for sale" sign on it which was in Thai I asked my wife what the sign said, and she said it was for sale. On the sign the price was 100,000 baht. I thought this was fairly cheap for such a decent small house, (It had two small bedrooms and an indoor squat toilet) although I suggested we offer 80,000 baht and see if the old guy would go for it. I told the wife, when she asked why I would want to buy it, that we could turn it into a noodle shop/convenience store, as the closest "real" store was a couple klics away outside the village. We'd get all the village trade as we'd be closer, and running the shop would be easy as it is only four houses down from ours. This idea was quickly squashed by my lass and her Sis. When I asked why, and pressed my valid points, I was told that this was a "bad luck" house. Everyone who had lived there had come to some bad luck end in some form or another. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Odd ducks these Thais at times 'eh?

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I countered with "Look, we buy the house. We get the monks from the Wat, which is just down the street, to come and give the place a real good "good luck" blessing rom Buddha. Then we buy a real nice spirit house for the little goblins and ghosts and put it out front for them. Presto changeo, no more "bad luck" house, and we'd have a nice little baht making shop real close to our house to run." The plan had merit they said, and might just work, but they still didn't seem too keen on the idea, so I dropped it. A month later the house was sold for 90,000 baht. Now it has become a thriving noodle shop/convenience store. I'll never listen to these ditzy broads again!! The place is doing a booming business.

I made my way down to the shop that should have been mine and bought a few cold bottles of beer Chang, and a couple of bottles of Lao Khao, for those who like this crap, for the rice picking relatives to swig back during their lunch break. Yeah, I'm a nice guy sometimes. Picking rice is hard and thirsty work.

For those of you who have never tried Lao Khao I suggest you forego this little alcoholic beverage. To imagine it's taste I give you this comparison. Take a bottle of the cheapest, nastiest tasting tequila you can find. Pour it into a dirty old tin pail which you've lined with old roofing tarpaper. Now have a few cats piss into it and let it sit in the pail for a week or so, or until the taste of the tarpaper has invaded the concoction thoroughly. Pour this, when ready and ripe, into a glass and drink it. There you have it….Lao Khao! Sounds delicious huh? Believe me, it's the crappiest tasting shit I've ever had, and I've drank about damned near everything for a buzz in my lifetime.

I returned from the shop that shoulda been mine with my goodies and put them in the truck. I cracked one of the Changs and swigged on it while waiting for Sis to finish making lunch and sat on the truck's bed gate swinging my legs and soaking up the sun's blistering rays. Sis came out shortly and tossed a few plastic bags of cooked food in the truck and off we went to feed and water the toiling mass of our rice picking relatives in the fields behind the village. And to later try our hand at catching fish in the ponds on our rice field properties. I love this shit!

(to be continued)

Stickman says:

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