Fake Silk Robes
Flummoxed is a very clear and romantic writer. Perhaps it comes from a man that has refused to lose the innocence, even after all the bad experiences with bargirls he has seen, which most men would have been completely jaded by already. Bad experiences do give men insight into things, perhaps even of songs about life, such as the LP he speaks about. However, the lesson with hookers and drugs and all forms of human bad habits is to see what they are (bad), expect nothing more than what they are (a moment of pleasure for a lot of pain), and to forget about them. Or if not, than to see what you continue to keep playing with (something bad that brings momentary pleasure with lots of pain).
His recent submission to Stickman's site, named “Pseudo Silk Kimono”, reflects well on the above.
However, consider that a lot of times, most of the time I would guess, the agony, idea of true love, and deep contemplation of a great affair between a worldly farang/beautiful bargirl is just a “fake silk robe”. They're sold all over Thailand. The street vendors pass them off as genuine Thai silk. The more honest vendors will say they are 80% silk and 20% polyester. What they really are is low-grade cheap Thai silk (as little as the counterfeiter can get by with) spun with rayon (as much as they can get in there). Read some Thailand travel guides to verify this. I learned this from a friend, saw it in negotiation with street vendors, and confirmed it in reading.
The reality is that we are not dealing with “pseudo Silk kimonos”. That would imply that there is something real in the counterfeit item. To call it a kimono would idealize it as something special. What it really is would be simply a fake silk robe. It’s fake. It’s a robe. Nothing idealized. Nothing special.
And that is exactly what most of the great world-wind relationships between farang and bargirls, which are told to us 99% by the love-struck Westerner, really are. They are just stories of a guy who messes with hookers, who forgot the reality of the situation (i.e. lost the plot), and a hooker, who is stringing the whoremonger on for some more money. Maybe in some exceptions, she is also playing out the fantasy and forgetting the plot too (but she usually remembers reality faster than the farang). Still, in the end, it is a whoremonger and a hooker. And the hooker isn't so beautiful all the time (not any more beautiful than many more Thai women with less questionable occupations), and most of the time, I’d venture most of us realize the farang isn't handsome as Prince Charming, rich as Donald Trump (he's just another average Westerner playing the currency exchange rates), or refined/educated as the world-class playboys many punters feel they are in their jaunts to Thailand. It’s a good fantasy, but it’s just that “most of the time”. (There’s always that ounce of hope for the punter. Just enough to keep the fantasy alive for the hopeful and the monthly payments coming for the bargirl.)
Would I worry about “breaking a promise” to a bargirl that clearly broke her own promise to me (cheated)? No. A relationship, assuming there is a real one and not just a fantasy (as I have suggested it is), is a two-person affair. There is a two-way agreement, written or not. She was not loyal. She cheated. He said he would leave. He is contemplating doing just that. What promise did he break? To not break her heart? Well, didn’t it occur to him that it was impossible to never break her heart AND to not stay with her if she cheated? I suspect she understood the conditional nature of his not leaving her. I also suspect she really wasn’t deep enough to even think about it. Bargirls are always the deepest bunch. She may well be thinking about where to spend money tomorrow, as much as her “indiscretion”. To her, after all, it is often nothing more than “boom boom” for some money.
Sure, they have hearts, but don’t overplay that. Punters so often do, putting too much of their emotions into it, forgetting it’s usually just a fantasy. Take it for what it is. And if you're one of those mad enough to try to find gold in a trash heap, you've got to realize you are working with garbage first. Forget this, and you'll never have even that most remote chance of finding the meager gold dust in a human garbage dump! There’s always the chance someone threw away some gold-plated jewelry. (There’s always that ounce of hope for the punter. Just enough to keep the fantasy alive for the hopeful and the monthly payments coming for the bargirl.)
Sure, some farang-bargirl relationships have worked. Most farangs that have managed to dig up that gold in a garbage bin don’t talk much about it. The ones I know personally don’t take romantic views of the situation either. They take pragmatic and realistic views. That’s how they made it, with an additional ton of luck. If they didn’t, would they have made it? I doubt it.
Please don’t take this as a commentary on Flummoxed personally. It’s not. It’s a word of warning to so many guys who are in similar situations. Your enemy is not those who try to warn you from their past experiences. Your enemy isn't necessarily even the bargirl sleeping next to you and with her hands in your heart. Your own romantic, philosophical heart is your enemy here.
There’s always that ounce of hope for the punter. Just enough to keep the fantasy alive for the hopeful and the monthly payments coming for the bargirl.
Stickman says:
Yep, luck plays a big part.
