These last weeks Stickman and others have asked for success stories abut relationships with Thai woman. I don’t say bargirl because mine is not (any more), I am not a writer so bear with me as I try to share our story. I have followed this site for some time before my first visit, and I also had e-mail contacts with Stickman asking questions and general guiding in the Thai / farang relationship jungles. So thanks to Mr and Mrs Stickman.
My first trip to Thailand, early January 2003. I was in Thailand for abut one month backpacking the island outside Trat. I did find a slice of haven and a bungalow for 100 B/night. When returning to BKK decided to visit Soi Cowboy and Nana, many bars, many beers. My second night out I walked in her bar, sat down ordered my beer and had two new friends at my side entertaining me, one witch would become my special friend, let’s call her Lek.
I made it clear that was not going to pay bar and all I wanted was some beer. The following nights I would end my bar rounds at her bar talking and buying drinks for my new friend Lek and her older sister “Tap”. So one night mamasan told me it was time for me to pay bar. I told her I would not. Gave Lek 500 B and said if she wanted to come with me she could pay bar her self. Mamasan was not so happy but Lek was, after one week I left BKK for about three weeks for a trip to Cambodia. When I returned I was back to the bar with Lek and Tap now starting and ending my night there. My last night in the bar before returning to Europe Tap told me that Lek liked me true and it was not just bargirl talk, I did not take this so seriously but me and Lek promised to stay in contact by e-mail. So we did very casual and sabay no promises of everlasting love.
My second trip was a holiday in July 2003, after two weeks on an island I returned to BKK. I had not told Lek I was coming so when I walked in her bar she was well surprised. She was screaming, crying and “slapping” me for a good ten minutes, finely sitting down in my lap, hugging me as she quietly wept on my shoulder. This was not what I expected. I was not comfortable with the looks I was getting from the other girls in her bar. This trip we spent more time together outside the bar than inside. When it was time for me to go back I offered (against my better judgement) her a monthly allowance so she wouldn't have to work the bar, she don't want any ???. I ask her how much she needs, she wouldn't answer ???. She asked me if I want her as my girlfriend? I say no! I cannot have bargirl girlfriend. We promise to stay in contact via mail and phone, and we did.
Late September this time work / holiday for 12 days, did not tell her I was coming so I could surprise her again. After a few days she said that she was going go stop working, that she wanted to be my girlfriend, and that she wanted her mother to come to BKK to meet me. I did not take her seriously but soon a date was set for her mother to come to BKK, and she did. One day before I was to go back to Europe she packed her bags and took the train to Isaan with her mother.
I land mid December check in at the hotel. take a shower, walk to her cousin and pick her up. For the next 6 weeks she didn’t leave my side. We go to her village in Isaan for two weeks, driving around Kanchanaburi on a motorbike for a week and laze on the beach in Bang Saphan for two weeks. The last days in BKK were not fun as we were both sad and moody. I know my feelings for her are true and genuine. She will come for a visit this summer and if that works out fine we plan for her to move here with me.
So how much have I spent? (I know that many of you want to know). After my third trip I gave her 5000 baht to make a passport, phone card, bus ticket and miscellaneous expenses. At the beginning of my fourth trip I gave her another 5000 baht so she would not have to ask me for anything. She turned around and gave it all to her mother (one lesson learned). And at the end of this trip I gave her 50,000 baht for visa fees, air plane ticket and miscellaneous expenses.
I don’t know if it will last forever but for now we are both happy and I see no reason for me to worry. Do I have any “tips” how to make it work? No I don’t when I ask her way she likes me she answers don’t know but I do. When I ask why she stopped working she answers nobody wants me to work, meaning me her mother and sister. She have told me that we would probably not be together if I had paid bar the first trip. She has not “hardened” like some girls that worked in bars for some time, Lek worked for 4 years.
For the rest just luck, we were both looking for something and we both think that we have found it.
That it maybe I have some more good news after this summer, I which you all good luck.
Good luck – hope your good fortune continues.