Experience Part 1

I thought I would share my experience of my time in Thailand with the readers of this column. Maybe not so exciting but as you say “shame on you if you read but don’t write” or something like that.

Well here goes, three years ago I decided to have a break from the U.K., the rat race was getting me down so I quit my job, had savings in the bank and decided to go on a holiday to recharge the batteries. After quick scan on the internet I had two or three choices, Amsterdam, Phuket or somewhere in Oz. I had been to the Dam’ before and knew I would have a good time there but I thought about the climate and decided to give it a miss. Oz sounded good but I felt I would bump into loads of backpackers so I decided to give that a miss also. Looking at the pictures of Phuket I thought that it should be a nice place to chill for a few weeks.

So that was it, decision made, three week holiday booked, I would leave my home in the next few days to go and sup some beer and relax on a beach, alone. Bear in mind I can honestly say I had no idea about the bars or the girls in Thailand, really naive, not sure, ignorant, yes.

So pack my gear, most of my clothes (idiot), army knife and my ATM. Getting excited on the plane for the first couple of hours then start to realize that it’s actually a killer of flight, can’t remember exactly how long but not good. Get into Phuket airport and my guesthouse have sent a guy to pick me up, lets call him Mr L. Now I am half asleep here but I can still see that he is pissed. Get into the pick up and we are off to Karon / Kata. Five minutes into the ride we run over a dog. Smashing! Mr L shrugs his shoulders as if it’s the norm. Get to the guesthouse a few kilos lighter after all the sweating, check in, meet a few of the residents, showered, shaved and then back out to the guesthouse bar for a much needed whisky.

This is when I was introduced to Mekhong and Sangsom, I’m not sure what they put in that stuff but I have never experienced hangovers like the ones I get from them. Get rat arsed at the bar and then Mr L asks me if I want to go to a bar for lady, as I mentioned earlier I had no idea about this, so being a fairly young, horny guy I agree to go with him. Ten minutes later I am in heaven, sitting in a Thai bar with four or five women fussing over me. Played all the usual games, drank a shit load of whisky and then was introduced to this pretty girl who couldn’t speak a word of English. The mamasan told me she had just arrived and would like to go back with me. So I took the girl with me along with her friend who could speak some English. We had a great night, went to a karaoke bar, sang some songs, ate some delicious food and got hammered.

Then it was back to my guesthouse with the two ladies, I don’t have to explain what went on there but I can say I was a very happy man at the end of the night. Woke up with these beautiful ladies asleep next to me and a killer hangover, woke them up, thanked them for a top night and said I would see them again over the next few weeks, gave them the some money to get home (1000 baht each is rather expensive for a taxi), no worries though, I was a quick learner and was more than happy to give them something.

Rolled out of my room into the guesthouse where Mr L was waiting, he had told everyone what had happened and I can say it was somewhat embarrassing to sit there among the other guests while eating my breakfast, the daggers I got of some of the farang women. Anyway from that day on I just developed the same attitude I have now, I don’t give a shit.

Hired a bike from the guesthouse, ten minutes after going out I found myself lying in the road with a large cut to my arm and leg. I was riding through the town and one of them lapdogs ran across my path, in the split second I had to make a decision it was either kill it or swerve to avoid it, unfortunately I swerved too much and the bike came down on me. The dogs owner (a nice middle aged woman) saw what happened and took care of me, bandaged me up, iodine the lot. I was laid up in my room and around the guesthouse for a few days after that, not being able to walk very far. But I guess it wasn’t too bad and could have been worse, but I had a taste for the ladies, I was missing the bars.

Anyway while staying I met a fellow Brit (long-termer) who took me around the town and introduced me to his friends. So most nights I would sit at bars, meet some quite crazy characters, play pool, cards and get smashed, occasionally straying into Patong to find a nice lady. One night I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, so I decided to thumb a lift, it was very dark and was relieved when a bike stopped for me. I jumped on and told the girl that I wanted to go to Karon Beach, no problem was her answer. I may have been new to the place but I felt something was wrong when she started going the wrong way, next thing she was groping my tackle, not bad I thought, maybe we could take a little detour. We started going up the side of a very steep hill and she said she is taking me home, sorted I thought, then IT turned around, its was a fackin’ guy! I jumped off the bike while it was still going up the hill. I gathered my thoughts and started briskly walking back down the hill, he / she started following me telling me to go with her / him. No way! After about five minutes I was back on the main road and I was still being followed, I turned around and threatened to punch his lights out if he did not stop following me, thankfully he got the message. Managed to pick up a songthaew after another 30 minutes or so, I was so relieved when I got back to the guesthouse.

Met up with an Ozzie, great guy, played golf in the days and went to bars in the nights. By now I had intentionally missed my return flight. I couldn’t tear myself away. I decided I would wake up one day and just book a flight from Bangkok and get back to the U.K. when I got pissed off with this place. Three months went by and I never got pissed off, but things change.

Went to a bar, picked up this very attractive girl and took her home, next day she didn’t want to go and to be honest neither did I want her to go, so she stayed. I was starting to get pissed off though as she would insist on me taking her to her bar every night to pay the fine. I did not agree with the fine thing, I thought what right has anyone got to say you cannot go anywhere or do anything unless you pay them money ie: the bar owner (yes I had spent some time in Thailand but I still had a lot to learn). I slowly fell for this girl, we would go the beach together in the day and hit the discos at night, then go back to my new bungalow and have a good sleep (yeah sure).

One day I went the ATM, got a balance statement and was shocked to see how much money I had spent over the last few months, I told myself to get my head together and head back to my friends in the U.K. as my savings would not last forever. I told my girl this and she went ballistic, started telling me her history (very sad and I believe to be true), she kept telling me that I could not leave her. I liked her a lot but I didn’t love her and my number one priority is me so I told her I was off in two days. That night she was sobbing in bed, I fell into a light sleep, I woke up and saw she had gone into the toilet, drifted back off and woke up again and she was still there, so I went to see if everything was O.K. It wasn’t. She had cut her wrists. I had to get a friend to lend me his jeep and get her to hospital. It wasn’t too bad as after what I guess was a few hours in casualty she was released, bandaged up. The alarm bells were well and truly ringing now so I left her the next morning, gave her some cash and my e-mail, told her that I was sorry but I had to go as I had no money left. It was a sad moment when I dropped her off at her room and I felt so sorry for her but this just couldn’t continue.

I started making enquiries about getting a flight to the U.K. as my experience of Thailand had been dampened by what happened with the girl. Then I met this guy from London who said he was going on a week trip to Chiang Mai. He told me that I could not leave Thailand without visiting Chiang Mai, truth be known, I didn’t need much convincing. So the next morning I throw most of my gear away and packed what I needed for the trip to Chiang Mai….. and what an experience that proved to be…..will continue with my experiences in the near future…

Stickman says:

Don’t stop! Tell us what happens next!