Readers' Submissions

Are We Really Fucked Up?



By Dartagnane



I can look back on twenty years of experience of living and travelling in Southeast Asia. I started with countries like the Philippines, Malaysia and Thailand. But they have become too westernized for my taste. Now I prefer Myanmar and Cambodia. Of course at the beginning I had been overcharged or poorly served a couple of times but it was never any serious amount of money. I learned my lesson and chalked it up to experience. Whenever a salesperson or a LBFM ballyhooed their services I took it with a grain of salt. But when I read some of the submissions I can only wonder about many of you guys. Why do you let them push you around? Do you have shit for brain? Are you really that fucked up?

Where I come from you learn at a very early age to use your elbows to survive. And not only your elbows. There was nothing like a free lunch. You always had to pay up sooner or later. The secret to survive was not `if you hit me I hit you back twice as hard` but rather to hit your enemy first. And if you hit him first, make sure he won't have even the slightest chance to fight back. Only the tough guys were accepted. Nobody dared to push me around. These days have coined me for the rest of my life.

Whenever I have to deal with other people, whether in business or private, I make sure both sides understand and agree to the terms of the deal. And if they don’t stick to this agreement they have to accept the consequences. I have never needed the service of a lawyer. Lawyers are mother fuckers. There is a legal way and there is my way. It saves a lot of money too.

They say Asians are like bamboo. They bend but they do not break. Exactly this feature can work to your advantage. When you are going to strike a deal with Asians make sure that you are setting the terms of the deal. Tell them exactly what you expect from them and if they don’t deliver what they have to expect from you in return. Show them your strength and your determination and don’t accept any shit. Be polite but persistent. And always with a smile (a grimace is not a smile!) on your face. Try it and you will be surprised how well things work out. Deep down in their heart Asians are cowards. That’s the reason why there are so many hitmen.

Let me give an example. When I use the service of a businesswoman (= working girl) I tell her exactly what I expect from her. I call this the terms of engagement e.g. shopping, dinner, ST / LT, payment etc. I tell her in advance that If she agrees to these TOE and fails to deliver the promised services I will cut the compensation accordingly. At my own whim. The reduction can be small but I reserve the right to refuse to compensate her if her performance is totally unsatisfactory. It is important that these TOE are made clear to hear before she nod her little head. Preferably in her own lingo. If she agrees then there is no way back. Neither for you nor for her.

A lot of bad experiences from tourists / business people stem from misunderstandings. You can easily avoid this if you make the rules.

Easy living when you make the rules.

Stickman says:

Good advice. It would work well for people who re assertive but others might find it difficult to implement.