Readers' Submissions

She Never Fulfilled Her Potential

  • Written by Stick
  • January 15th, 2004
  • 7 min read

Anonymous Submission



I met her this past summer, I’ll spare you any boring details of how we met, but keep in mind she is a go go girl.

I met her in the summer as I mentioned before. My Thailand trips usually don't consist of mindless and reckless sex with multiple Thai women. I usually find one girl whose personality I can tolerate and stick with her as my temporary holiday girlfriend. I rarely keep in touch with bar girls and I certainly don't start relationships with them, it's just foolish. In fact any person who enters a relationship with a Thai prostitute is a sucker no ifs and or buts. No matter how genuine the relationship, you are a sucker just for the fact that you decided to take on a Thai bar girl as a serious girlfriend. So I admit it, I am a sucker, any other answer would mean I’m in denial. I met this girl at a go go bar, got laid, didn't think I liked her and didn't think she was really in to me. But we did manage to exchange phone numbers out of courtesy and any other social formalities as I was kicking her out of my hotel room the following morning.

I thought nothing of it until about the last week of my 3-week vacation. she called me and asked to see me again, I told her sure and blew her off. the following day she called me again and asked why I hadn't come to see her at her bar, I can't remember what I said but I once again agreed to see her. This time I consulted a Thai lady friend of mine about this. she suggested I might as well see her again and insisted that she come along when I went to go meet her.

To cut this boring ass part short I went and saw her, we hit the discos, by the next morning we were crazy about each other. For the first time I really saw a bar girl as something I wanted to be more than friends with. I had conflicting feelings as this would violate all of the protocol related to my bar girl philosophy. So I decided not to take things too seriously, especially since I was leaving and I am not one to maintain a long distance relationship, mostly because I’m a cynic and the way I see it is like this, what's the point of having a girlfriend if you can't even be with her in person.

Well we kept in touch, blah, blah, blah, and I went back to see her again. I still only had a crush on her at this point but after my second time seeing her I had fallen in love.

I’m no novice to the Thailand bar scene, I’m 24 years old and I've been coming to Thailand since I was 19. I know most of the tricks and games the bar girls play, their general intentions, and the dangers of falling in love with one. But I said fuck it, at the time I sincerely believed she loved me, I asked her if she wanted to stop working in the bars. She was a bit reluctant, and I made it clear that I was only offering to support her if she sincerely wanted to stop working the bars. truth be told, I would have offered to take care of her whether she was working the bar scene or not, which I later did.

The agreement we came to was this. She would stop work next month and I would send her money. But if she wanted to work in the bars again she would tell me and I would pay her less money. You have to understand that a lot of these young country girls grow accustomed to the city and party life, don't you remember how you felt when you were a teenager? Hell, I still feel the same way. So naturally I wasn't going to set some dumb ass conditions and tell her she had to go back home to bum-fuck middle of nowhere. but she insisted she would return home for a little bit, her stay there would be indefinite.

She came to the conclusion that this lifestyle, the partying, the boozing, the attention from men, the sex, it has a certain appeal to it once the girls get over the fact that they sleep with men for money. She figured that having sex with men for money was definitely not healthy and definitely not good for the soul, so she decided she needed a break from all of it and possibly stop for good.

The next day she quit the bar and stayed with me for the rest of her vacation. I’m wealthy, I come form a very wealthy family, and no I’m not some spoiled rich boy. I like to think I’m well educated and through awesome parental feats my parents raised me to be a reasonable, liberal, and socially conscious individual, bless their hearts.

The money I was offering to my girlfriend was pretty decent if you ask me. I was offering her 40,000 baht a month and the first amount of money I would giver her would be 60,000 baht. She insisted it was far too much money and she finally talked me down to 15,000 baht a month and 30,000 baht for the first month's amount. I had taken in to consideration all of the risks, the possibility that she's bullshitting me, cheating me, I addressed every possible scenario. But the fact remains, trust is critical in any loving relationship. If you love somebody you have to believe in that love, you have to take a chance.

The night I left Thailand I attempted to reach my girl on her cell phone at the airport gate. evidently her telephone was not turned on. I arrived to the States and attempted to call her again. Still her phone was not working. so I called her sister to find her but she was not around. I later received an email from her explaining to me that she lost her telephone the night I left. I know I mentioned all this shit about trust, but enter the seeds of doubt.

So she lost her phone? The night I left? Shouldn't the phone still have rung? Rather than receiving a 'number not in service' voice message? My suspicion was that she tossed her SIM card. It's been about seven weeks now and I've made little attempts to contact her. I decided if she really loves me (or the money) she’d contact me.

No reply from her at all. Isn't that funny? If she loved me she would have called. If she was in it for the money she would have called. In fact I wired her 15,000 baht to buy a new telephone and all I got was a one sentence thank you email. It's become quite clear she wants nothing to do with me, and I can't get an answer why, I guess that's what hurts the most. but I’m getting over it.

My assumptions are:
– she is waiting on another lover I was never aware of.
– she doesn't want to stop working the bars
– maybe she just can't stand my ass, but that's hard for me to believe because we always had good times together
– and an unlikely scenario: she was intent on ripping me off and just didn't have the heart to do it in the end so she 'let me go'

What if, maybe…. what ever. I learned an interesting lesson in love and I've discovered the fatal flaw most of us make when it comes to making a whore into a housewife. I’ll include my expert analysis and opinion on loving bar girls in another submission. But still, what a weird girl, even if she didn't love me you'd think she would have gone for all of the money I was about to give her.

Stickman says:

Yep, you'd think she would have cashed in a little better than that…