Stickman Readers' Submissions December 22nd, 2003

Who Knows?

It’s me again. Dunno what’s up with me? My fingers haven't stopped. LOL

I’m 25 years old now and I think its fair to say that my mind is developed enough to know what is wrong and what is right!

He Clinic Bangkok

All in favour say "I".

Why is it that you still get “COCKS”, yes “COCKS”, that at the ripe old age of 30+ still somehow manage to have a complete disregard for there surroundings and absolutely no manners as if they had only moments ago been plucked from a pig pen.

Also why is it that a majority of bargirls I meet pretend, yes pretend, to be dumb, when they are not? Eyebrows are probably now raising up all over the world as people read this…bargirls not dumb? Ask yourself how come they always see what you're doing but there never around? Why do they always know when your lying?

CBD bangkok

Well here goes…

It was my 1st trip to LOS and I had great expectations of a country that I had been hearing about for years but through no fault of my own I had been unable to attend the party.

Well it was my year. After a few months of staying at home, leaving all lights and home entertainment off, drinking water and eating dried bread, treating myself on weekends to crackers and cheese and of course abstaining from sex, I somehow managed to save enough money to go and have a blast.

The scene is now set. It’s my 3rd day and I have managed to find myself a nice lady to, let's be honest, the phrase is “MOTHER ME”. She seemed like good company, always chatty, lovely eyes, nice clothes, clean lovely smile and she spoke good English. But still after reading countless stories of broken hearts I kept it as NON-emotional as I could. But let's be honest, that's a contradiction in terms. How does one not get attached to someone you spend every second of a day with? Whether it be days or weeks there's always something there. Why? Cos they “MOTHER YOU” take care of you. Treat you like you are Frodo and you have just destroyed the ring.

wonderland clinic

Anyhow getting back to the point of this story. If you've read my previous posts you'll know I love my bikes. My 1st trip was no different I had a nice Fireblade and thought I was God's gift as I thrashed through the gears up and down Beach Road aimlessly with my Thai chick holding on for dear life. We pulled over and parked my bike where I normally do. Gave my little beauty a kiss and asked her to wait for me in McDonalds while I change some money. I tried to give her some money to get the food but she refused.

I've changed my money and I go into the McDonalds. I stand there as she orders our food she pays and collects the food. On our way to the table I hear 3 or 4 voices. Three German guys doing exactly what me from London, you from New Zealand, Australia and America are doing… travelling. Well so I presumed. They are all built like brick SHIT houses and one of them gets up barges passed me without even an apology and then knocks the food out of my girl's hands! Why you ask yourself? To see her ass? To see her cleavage or just to embarrass her? Well the whole of McDs goes quiet as they laugh. One pretends to try and pick the stuff up as he tries to squeeze her ass and then have a good old look at her assets.

Now I’m 5’9, 5’10 on a good day, I have a very, very, very long fuse. Barring lack of respect and manners and mocking the inflicted you can get away with murder with me… As I squared up to this 7 foot giant and enquired as to the purpose of this little escapade his response was “Why the fuck am I getting so bolshy for she's only a whore” he then went onto offering me 1000 Baht for her for a month. I began to manipulate the situation and belittle the little prick. I asked him why he was alone with no girls? Why was he in Thailand, could he not get laid back home etc Then he did it, yep you got it, he went for the race card. He suggested that I was standing up for the Thai Girl and Thais and blacks were at the bottom of the food chain. Now racism doesn’t get to me as it shows me that the person is an ignorant uneducated buffoon.

Now we all know what Thai girls are like. Fiery little things that just explode…LOL.. and she was within her right to. Surprisingly enough what did she do? She stood behind me the whole time smiling. Why?

What followed after was even more surprising. The lovely Germans were asked to leave the fast food joint we all love.

I went to clean up the mess and was told to leave it by the staff. I was given a free meal for me and my lady friend and when leaving the restaurant I returned to the bike and there was a guard on it. I took no notice. On arriving at my hotel I asked why she was so calm, she laughed and replied silly silly farang. This is Thailand, not your country or theirs. Nice man like you always safe. Badman disappear and nobody will know. Only 10,000 baht (142 pounds or $253) for man to disappear. I looked at her with astonishment. Not because of what she said but because of how she said it. As if it was the norm.

Later that evening we went out and guess what we saw, the LITTLE guys from Germany from earlier. Now my girl was with some of her friends and they had all been drinking. She picked up a bottle from the table and tried to chase them down with it. I grabbed her and took the bottle from her. I tell her she will get in trouble. Her response was “no no trouble police arrest me I give them 500 baht they let me go, I do before”

Now I was worried for two reasons. One I was with a LOONY who new the ins and the outs of the law or how to break it and get away with it and she knew how to make me disappear if I pissed her off. Now the German guys from earlier tried to get into a club. They were refused entry. They tried another and another and they couldn't get in. My girl and her friends were laughing. I asked why you laugh. It turned out that my sweet innocent little baby owned two bars and she hadn't told me. All of her friends worked in clubs, pool halls and bars all over Phuket so all they did was send up some smoke signals and the poor guys' holiday was ruined. All she did was kiss me and tell me that Thai lady very smart so don’t F**k with them. Now should I have been worried that this little gem of a girl was gonna cut throat if I played with her or should I have been happy for the protection in this lovely land?

Well I soon found out. It was my 2nd to last day. I had arranged to meet my then Mrs at 10 PM at my hotel. She arrived at 8:45 AM and I was preparing to go and meet my Thai friends at their bar. I told her she was very early and I had plans so I would meet her as arranged at 10 PM. She gave me the look, the nose went up and the eyes. Then she smiled and said OK. But I knew this girl. She's off her head ;o). I went and met my friends. At 9:30 she turns up at the bar with her friend and stares at me. Screams at me “Why you treat me like this.” I say how. She says you embarrass me in front of people and I’m a butterfly etc

Well I knew that wasn’t the end of it. Guess what the little ***** did to get me back for her losing face. She slashed the tyres on my Fireblade and then offered to lend me the money to pay for them LOL. Now I didn’t see her do it but that's what my heart tells me and the fact that I didn’t spend the evening with her. But as my friend came in he asks if my girl just left, as she is downstairs sat on my bike. Could me a coincidence or she coulda done it. Who knows? I do know that I learnt a few things on my 1st trip LOL

Most importantly Don’t F*** with the Thai Girls as they will F*** you up and then smile and laugh and grin with you as though nothing had happened. Now I have never mentioned it to her but she knows and I know. Apart from her somewhat psychotic nature she's lovely LOL.

Now before I go.

Why is it that a large number of farangs presume that every Thai female on this planet is a dirty little whore bag? Whether they are or they are not they still should be given some respect, as we are inhabiting their country. Each coin has 2 sides and I could turn it around and ask why a large amount I'd go so far as to say the majority of Thai women that I have come into contact with presume that I am a rich farang basking in funds and assets.

This point was proved only yesterday as I received a phone call from Thailand….I shan't tell you what was said. I will write the conversation LOL.

THAI LADY: Hello baby I never ask you to phone me back before but I upset and only little money on phone can you phone me back please. (What she said was true. She has always phoned me and just spoke it was the 1st time she asked me to phone her back)


London Boy: Hey Chicken how are you.

THAI LADY: I’m not good I upset you lie to me.

London Boy: (I laugh) What have I done now.

THAI LADY: You see you know you lie that's why you laugh.

London Boy: OK expensive call, tell me what happened.

THAI LADY: You see you lie again, not expensive for you.

London Boy: What are you on about.

THAI LADY: My friend go with man same, same chocolate like you.

London Boy: Yes

THAI LADY: From London

London Boy: Yes

THAI LADY: Same, same you

London Boy: Yes????

THAI LADY: He tell me all man in London earn 1000 pounds or more in one month.

London Boy: So you phone to tell me that?

THAI LADY: No I go to money change place and its 65 baht to 1 pounds, so you earn 65000 baht per month or more, you tell you don’t have money to call me or to visit me yet you are a rich man, I never ask you to send me money or buy me gifts only to come and see me because I miss you and you still lie (crying follows).

London Boy: (I piss myself laughing) Stop being silly

THAI LADY: (Crying stops) You see even now you laugh, I just phone to tell you that I now know that I miss you and want to see you but you don’t miss me or want to see me because you spend all your money on other things.

London Boy: Like what? My house? My bills? My mother? My sister?

THAI LADY: Come and build house here I take care you?

London Boy: I know you would but I stay here.

THAI LADY: Fine Mr lying man I go now to beauty salon to finish work.

London Boy: OK chicken

THAI LADY: Remember Buddha is watching you and he knows when you lie to Thai lady (Laugh).

London Boy: (I laugh) Bye speak soon. (KISS KISS)

THAI LADY: No kiss for Mr. Rich lying chocolate farang. (Laugh)

London Boy: OK I go now (Hang Up)

Now as I said earlier she speaks very, very good English. A little too good at times. Some will appreciate this part of the story and some will not. I want to get into one of their heads and find out what part of their brain processes information. For something that needs little to no brain work, she has gone out of her way to collect some information she got from a drunk guy that looks like me and is from where I am from. But a simple task that needs no brainwork at all she refuses to do????? As Dana said earlier guess it must just be another mystery…

Mystery after Mystery…

Stickman says:

Don't try and analyse bargirls too much.

nana plaza