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To Condom Or Not To Condom

  • Written by Papa John
  • December 18th, 2003
  • 4 min read




Now I know this article is going to enrage some people, but it may be of assistance to some of the older guys like me when next they visit LOS.

This information will be of no use to the younger stallions who have a different lady every night, but if, like me, that is not to your taste then it may be invaluable knowledge.

You know what it’s like guys if you are over 50, a bit jaded with life, and really you’ve done it all before. So you need all the stimulation you can get.

So here I am last month with a nice lady using a piece of rubber which I dislike intensely, and trying to tell myself I haven’t got it on. Useless of course, because I can’t convince Willy that it’s not all around him. When I was younger it didn’t seem to make much difference, but now it is a real drag. I am concentrating, and using all my energy, but I just can’t finish the job, so I stop exhausted, and lie back.

To be fair to the lady she was quite concerned because it just wasn’t going to happen with Mr. Condom on the job. She worried that I wasn’t happy because “no come”. I explained that it was very enjoyable anyway, and she should not worry.

So after a few days, and maybe finishing the job only once, we have a long discussion, and as I was staying in LOS for another three weeks she suggested we go for tests for HIV. This was the thing she was most worried about, quite understandably. If we were both clear then OK, no condom. Good enough for me.

She said there were clinics that carry out these tests quickly. I agreed a little reluctantly, because I wasn’t sure what these clinics would be like. My main concern was that if they did not use brand new needles to take a blood sample then I was out of there. I suggested Bumrungrad Hospital because I went there before with a back problem (don’t ask), and that is a very impressive place. Anyway she said there was no need and the hospital would be much more expensive;

She didn’t know exactly where to go, so we went out on Sukhumvit, and she asked a Thai lady at a little corner restaurant. After a little thought the lady directed us to soi 11.

So we go down soi 11 and there’s the sign Sukhumvit Clinic on the left coming from Sukhumvit road about 250 metres down the soi. It points to a little soi off soi 11 and we go into it and find the clinic.

Well it’s a very nice clinic, spotlessly clean, and as good as anything I’ve seen in Farangland hospitals. When we explained what we wanted one of the ladies suggested we get a gonorrhea test also as the Aids test was 500 baht, and the gonorrhea test was only 150 baht extra. OK great we would have them both. In retrospect we also should have had syphilis, Chlamydia and herpes, but I didn’t think of it at the time. To be honest I was a little embarrassed and just wanted to get it over with.

So I was called in first, and happily she had a brand new needle from a sealed pack, used an anti bacterial cleaner on my arm and took the sample. She apologised that I would not have the result the following day as it was Sunday and nobody worked at the labs. What a country! In my country you’d count yourself very lucky to get the result in a week, and here was this lady apologizing for not getting it back the next day. Wonderful.

So samples given and the 1300 baht paid for both our tests and off we go.

We returned Monday morning and had our results confirmed as clear, and after that it was tally ho.

I know some people are going to think I’m an idiot. I know that HIV antibodies do not show up for about three months after infection. It was an indication however that I was very sure I didn’t have it, and the same reasoning can be applied to her. Another thing is that both of us might have had any number of other bugs flying around our nether regions, and if I do it again I will go for the lot, if they carry them out.

A word of warning. If you do go for this test you must realise that this is Bangkok, and there is no counselling system, as far as I know, for anyone who has a positive result. So give careful consideration to what your feelings will be if you are positive.

I suppose that having these clinics around is a result of the many prostitutes in BKK who get regular tests. But I must say it is so refreshing and civilised to be able to get tests like these without the bureaucracy and black looks you get in Farangland for being a bad boy.

Stickman says:

We all have to make tough decisions at some point or another. For me, this is a tough decision and I would have decided differently from you. You're a big boy and you know the risks. And at the risk of generalising and pissing people off, why is it that the older guys seem to be much less concerned about condom use. I won't state the obvious…