Stickman Readers' Submissions December 15th, 2003

The Londoner Now Travels Alone, Part 1, Bangkok

Greetings to all.

Before I start Id like firstly like to thank all the people who post their tales to Stickman’s site. On some days it’s these stories that keep me from falling asleep at work. ;o)

He Clinic Bangkok

Secondly can anybody explain to me why it is that you meet a girl on Monday in a bar. Pay her bar fine you guys have a good time she goes back to her bar. That’s the end of that. You see her on Tuesday with another Guy you wave say hi everything is pleasant. You then see her on Wednesday. You now are with another lady. First you get the look with the eyes then the lips start to curve then you get the nose. Why, Why, Why am I now Farang Butterfly who toyed with her feelings and emotions. The day before you were with another guy and everything was hunky dory now I'm with another woman I’m an asshole??????

Thirdly this will be broken into 3 parts as even I get bored with typing sometimes

I’ve been to Thailand a couple of times and I am yet to meet Mrs Right. This is through no fault of my own. There has been potential but shit happens. Some of us just come to enjoy Thailand. Me I’m a bit of both. I like the nightlife but sometimes one does just wanna lie in bed with a cute Thai lady whilst trying to teach each other English and Thai.

CBD bangkok

Now to lay the foundation for the story. Last time I went to LOS was in late April, with my friend who we will call London 2. I did 2 days in Bangkok and the remaining 12 days in Phuket. I met a lovely lady who we will call Phuket 1. She was lovely bout 5 foot and huge upper body assets which believe it or not no disrespect intended I have found hard to find in Thai women. I spent most of my holiday with her. After returning to London Myself and London 2 planned a return this coming April. I however couldn't wait so I suggested we went in November. For what ever reason he couldn't attend so it was Me & Thailand. I was going to do it alone.

I spoke to Phuket 1 at least once a week sent emails and sent pictures. She wasn’t a bar girl but a freelancer. Not once did she ask me to send her ??? for her kids, her sick aunt, the dieing buffalo or credit for her phone or email so she could keep in contact with me. So I thought she was alright, but please not once did I ever think that this girl was waiting for me and only me, I just new that the time we spent together I enjoyed…. Any how I’m beginning to babble so let’s move on…

I book my ticket for 4 Nights in Bangkok, 5 Nights in Pattaya a few days spare travel and 10 days in Phuket. I won’t bore you with my travelling my hotel and all the rest of it ill just get to the stories that made my holiday. 1st Stop….the capital….Bangkok….

Feel free to scroll down to Pattaya or Phuket if Bangkok is boring you. In my account Bangkok is the least exciting of the 3 stories but it’s your eyes, your time…..

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I went to one of the many bars in Bangkok and met a nice girl good English good looking not to tarty I would even go so far as to say cute. I paid her bar fine we were off went to a few other bars had some food walked talked the whole GFE. We went home and what happened as we all know is between two consenting adults. There was know exchange of contact details or seeing each other again not even an “Ill pop in and see you at your bar” in the morning just the usual shit that comes with going with a bar girl. I’m out the following evening but alone and I see the same girl with another guy. I say hi she says hi back that’s that. I then see her again on the 3rd night but I’m with another girl. If looks could kill, I know women get jealous when need be but come on. You probably see a different guy every night unless you are with someone long time and you wanna give me stick cos I’m with another woman. This was the beginning of something I would later find out was all my fault. But ill tell you about that at the end…. ;o) Gotta keep you reading if you’re not bored already.

It’s my last day in Bangkok and I have been drinking heavily, partying hard and still doing the touristy stuff. No matter how many times you come there is still a palace or temples that you haven’t seen so why waste the opportunity. However I am now beginning to wonder why I abused my body for the past 3 days. Brandy on the rocks is not good for the Liver nor the eyesight but hey I’m not a bear drinker and Coke is expensive ;o). I decide to chill out on my last day. I end up finding a nice Pool Hall they got a TV nice music appears to be quiet no hassle. So I go inside order a water and just sit and watch the footie. U know us Brits cant live without the premiership. Any how a young Thai lady about 4 foot approaches me and asks if id like to indulge in a game of pool. I say hey why not 20 baht a game I end up playing with this girl from 12 in the afternoon till about 6pm at which point I have got back on the brandy and I’m feeling a bit peckish. Mite I add that not once has this girl asked me for a drink, the whole time she’s been sipping on her bottle of water. I felt bad I offered her a drink and she declined. I say I’m hungry so I’m off to get food. She tells me that she will get the food for me as she believed the brandy had taken its toll. I give her the ???? tell her to get something for herself she returns with the food we eat. An American guy comes in and has a drink. I get talking to him. Well call him US 1. Turns out he’s been here a while we exchange a few stories I’m on my way. Before I go he tells me that if I’m at a loose end after every where’s closed he knows a spot that’s open till late.

I go back to my hotel pack my shit change shower and I’m back on the town by 10pm. I do all the bars along Patpong even KC3 with the women with the big feet who I have found are a lovely bunch. But everyone has there own experiences. I’m in there and this Pre-op (judging by her stiffy) that I will call Norman walks up to me and asks if she can sit down. Before she sits down I explain to her in the best way possible that by sitting down it is not your cue to begin groping me to the Happy House beat or is it a guarantee that you will be getting a lady cola or a tip. and finally there is no way in the world that I will bar fine you as I am not into having relations with people that were at any stage of there lives Men. Just my luck this one thinks she’s a comedian. She sits down and starts laughing. She asks if I can show her the size of my member in exchange she will show me hers. Now there’s an icebreaker for you. We laugh ands all of a sudden I feel comfortable. On my previous visits if a Lady boy came any where near me in a sexual manner id decline very very quickly. Norman asks me to look around and tell me what I see. I’m the only black guy in there I dunno if it was the brandy but it looked like everyone was looking at me. She tells me that I’m the chocolate man and they want me but she will save me. She gets up tells me it’s her time to dance gets me my drink first then does her bit she then cums back and sits next to me. We spoke for about 30 mins about where I’m from what I do men, women and the in betweeners such as herself. By this time I have a group of Normans sat around me all pouting there lips and doing there selling themselves thing. Norman shouted something at the rest of them and they all scurried back off. I laughed and bought her a drink. We sat for a little longer and spoke I bought her another drink and was off she asked if id come back and see her I said may be. And that was that. You’re probably wondering why I am telling u this. Well its cos no matter where I read it I appear to read the same things and that is that these Normans are out to get you, to drug you, to rob you, to beat you, they are the worst as they have the worst traits from men and women they’ll get you. Due to this I had a stigma attached to them so just had my back up. One experience like that has changed my mind. More were to follow.

I go to a few more bars it’s getting late I've drunk probably about a bottle of brandy and I need food so I go and eat. I look at my watch and its 1:30am I remember US1 telling me if I’m free around 2am he knows a spot. I go back to the place where I met him have a few more drinks and we are joined by US2 US3 & US4. The story unfolds. Where go to another place with 2 other Thai girls that US1 new. US2 US3 & US4 were just tag along trying to score some girls. But they didn’t want to pay… Are they DUMB. They had come to Thailand for one day and one day only. Spent the whole day in an Irish pub drinking then went to all the go-go and beer bars in town had about 2000 baht between the 3 of them and they wanted to meet nice ladies build a meaningful bonding relationship with a girl then sleep with her and say goodbye. After explaining that this was a no no as it was now after hours and any girls that you'd meet now would in fact me prostitutes and they would have to pay they became irate. Irate because of there own stupidity. Well they soon left. Soon after that the 2 Thai girls left and I was there with US1 I was introduced three Thai Guys Thai 1, 2 & 3 and Mamasan. This would prove to be an evening of politics & Drinking. We moved chairs and sat down on a big couch. I was asked what id been drinking. By Thai 1 he said I could either pitch in and help to finish the 2 bottles of black label or I could expense myself further and by brandy. I took the cheaper option. Mite I add I had just met these people and here I was locked in a room with them. But hey my mother has always told me good things happen to good people. I am a big believer in karma and I hadn’t done anything bad so I figured id be ok. I’m normally a pretty good judge of character so what the hell. Let’s drink and be merry. It was 2:30am when we started and well into 5am when we finished. In those few hours I had gained yet another insight one that had I not been travelling alone I wouldn’t have seen. I spoke to the Mamasan for a lot of the time and she told me stories about the girls she had working for her, her childhood and the fact that she thought I was a liar, I lived in Thailand and I could in fact speak perfect Thai and it was all a fast pretending I couldn't understand her. The effects of drink A.

Well it came that time and we were all about to leave, I drank Remy all day and Black Label all night. I tried to say my good byes but was told that id me given a lift home. Now these guys couldn't walk so how they were gomna drive I don’t know but out of sheer stupidity I got in that car. For me something told me to get in that car. If something didn’t I wooda walked but I was told id be ok. Whether it was God, the Remy or the Black Label. In I got with a car full of piss heads that I had known for a few hours. Well we did 100 KM/H down a road swerving in and out of cars tuk-tuks bikes and carts whilst bibbing a horn and screaming abuse out of the window with me holding the vomit at the back of my throat. We dropped the final person off and it was just me and Mamasan. She said she was coming with me I said no problem. We got to a set of traffic lights and I knew in the few times I had been on this road it was either strait or left, right was a one way. She signalled right I said no its left strait then right then left to my hotel, she said how would I know I thought you didn’t live here. She laughed and said we would play Rock, paper, Scissors and the person that won we would go there way. Mamasan won and we turned into a one way street and drove strait down it bibbing the horn as cars swerved to avoid us. After avoiding certain death we get to the bottom of the road. A junction I mite add, after cheating death once Mamasan says she knows another short cut, she drives across a junction as cars bib swerve and miss us by inches, how we got out alive I don’t know. She then tries to high 5 me and tells me that she is in charge of the road. Now is it me or is that FUCKED UP?????? I get to my hotel in one peace we order food eat and crack open another bottle of Hennessey at which point she asks if I want her to stay, not for sex just to talk she says. I agree pack my bags as I check out to go to Pattaya at 12. We drink and talk to around 1130 then fall asleep. I wake up at 1pm to the sound of the phone ring the door bell going, I shooda checked out an hour ago, my taxi to Pattaya has been waiting for me for 30 mins and Mamasan is verbally abusing me as I try and wake her from her slumber….LOL

I check out and say my goodbyes and the big mans on his way to Pattaya.

I drank for 23.5 hours strait without vomiting, something that would not be possible in London. Now was I an alcoholic or was I just good at consuming large amounts or alcohol without being sick. It my book it’s the same thing. But I’m suffering now I’m back home,,,

Any how next stop Pattaya

Stickman says:

Comments to follow…

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