Readers' Submissions

I Don’t Know

  • Written by Jonas
  • December 31st, 2003
  • 8 min read




I'm from Sweden 34 years old.

I have always, (well always, in this meaning, is since I began my sexual practice), been very attracted to Asian looking girls. However, I have never had anyone before. In lack of Asian girls, my second choice has always been girls with black, or at least, brown hair.

Do you think I turned out lucky? Of course not… I've been involved with about 4 long (> 6 month – 6 years) relationships and a lot,>50, of short (1-30 days) relationships with Swedish women. I would say that approximately 99 % of them was blond with blue eyes…

Of course it wouldn't last!!! I've been travelling a lot in Europe and the US before and I've been visiting a few prostitutes in my days. The ones that made an impression to me??? Of course! The Asian ones…

I have never been much to travel actually, not before since a while ago. I said to myself: Hey! Why don't you visit Thailand??
So I did eventually!

However, I wanted to have something more to say to my family and friends than that I just was going to Thailand by myself…

I'm sure that all of you think I'm a sucker, but among quite normal Swedish peoples life, paying girls for sex is just out of the question. And saying I'm just going to Thailand, would make them think just that's why I'm going…

I did by an Swedish internet site that publish contact ads, find an add with this just fabulous looking Lao girl.

(This was about six months before I left for my holiday).

Well, this internet site is of a more adult oriented character, but this ad was so innocent, and I fell for it/her.

So we began to have a e-mail, innocent, relationship for a few month. I felt like I was in love. But don't get me wrong here! I was quite sure that it was an impossible relationship so deep inside I kept my distance. She seemed so innocent and like that she had the most beautiful heart in the world. She sent me not just e-mail, but real mail and package, with stuff she bought for me. Her English is not very good, she had to pay internet cafe staff or friends to translate for her.

But, as to get back to my previous words: "Hey, why don't you visit Thailand": AND this girl and have a few days in Laos, before you get to Thailand and have the time of your life!?!?! ("Time of your life" also include relaxation and a warmth climate).

So I went!

After a 14 hour trip from Stockholm to Vientiane, I finally get of the aeroplane, got a Visa at the airport, and saw this girl, (Lets call her S.)

Actually, the first thing get to my mind was how big breasts she had! (Hey, I am a guy…) She had arranged a room in a guesthouse as we had arranged in our previous e-mails and phone conversations.
The first thing she does when we arrive to this room is to take a shower.
And then lay down half naked in the bed. I think its a bit odd, but I've never been to Asia before and from what I've learned, they often shower. So… I take a long well worthy shower to and sit by the bed besides her.

About 3 minutes later we have sex! (Yes, her breast turned out to be silicon). Again, I think it's a bit odd, but I have nothing to complain about. We used condoms that she was in supply of, and everything was just absolutely fabulous.

Then she gives me the week of my life! She takes me to all kinds of tourist places that I want to see. We went from Vientiane to Vang Vieng and to Luang Prabang, she gives me as well the sex of my life. She is a very nice and comfortable accompany, friend and girl.

I believed before I arrived that she was a "normal" girl, but of course, since the before mentioned signs, and a few other things she said that made no sense, I started to wonder… But it was not until I left from Luang Prabang to Bangkok, I really started to think twice…

When I got to Bangkok, I hacked into her email account, and…:-(

I found out she had been not a really good girl before… There was a lot of private e-mail to other men. (Approx. 20 different men in the last 18 month). I got really upset. I knew I had thought and seen this thought and thing in my mind before, and that I am not the guy to be a hypocrite, but I was indeed not very happy. Actually I was not mad! I was only sad, for myself in the first place. (I thought I’d met the love of my life).

So I send here an e-mail where I say that she has been telling me nothing but lies, and that she can go to h*** (I didn't tell her how I knew, only that I had been doing some research)

I felt sorry for myself for 24 hours, then I went visit some parts of the Bangkok adult scene, (I was only in Bangkok for three days and I didn't have time to see that much). I had some quite good times. I even picked up the girl that was the guide of a tourist tour of Bangkok that I joined. 😉

Then I went to Phuket to meet up with a friend of mine and we travelled around for two weeks, and I really got to enjoy the part of Thailand, we horny farang men, like so much…

I had almost forgotten about S. when I went home. (She had sent me some, totally in denial, e-mails that was so stupid that I felt sorry for here).

Back in Sweden she called me a few times and sent me e-mails where she at least admitted to me that I was right.

She said that she had been working in a place called "Inter Karaoke" close to Khao San Rd in Bangkok.

I have never been able to locate this place on the internet. Stick: do you know about this place? In that case, what kind of place is it?

She said she had been working in Pattaya to someone in one of the e-mail I hacked into.
But when I ask her about that she say I'm false, she has only been there travelling and visiting friends. (Well, she might be telling the truth, but I find it hard to believe…)

However, sucker that I am, I start to disregard her lies and her past, and start falling in love with here again. We have been talking or e-mailing to each other almost everyday since then. (I got home a month ago).
And really, I think I love her!!! I don't believe everything she says, but I really believe she has a good heart and that she loves me.

Now she want to come to me in Sweden. And I must say that I am not far from making that thing come true!

I think of her all the time! I have made clear to her that I know about her previous life! She knows that I know about it, but states loud and clear that she do not want that life back anymore, because she loves me. One part of me believe her, another part of me does not…

(I can tell from the hacked e-mails that she actually do not want that life back! Most of them was to/from "internet-contacted" men that she had never met.)

I don't know what to do…

I've learned that I do not find Swedish girls interesting… The ones that I find interesting is playing in another league than me, (I'm average looking, with a salary of approx. 5000$ a month), or already have a boyfriend. Besides, I think I am going to get bored with them blond girls anyway in a not far time…

I think that I can live with the fact and knowledge of her, having had sex with xxx # of men before, (but I'm not sure).

She seems like a very good and nice girl that just happens to get on the wrong trail… (By the way she is 26 years old).

I ask you what to do, Stick! But I think I know the answer…

Still the same I think, regardless of your answer, that I will bring her to me, because I seek almost desperately after the love of my life and maybe S. is the one.

I would like you to place this mail, after you have given me your personal thoughts, under the "readers submission" section in some way, because maybe someone else has been in my position before, and can give me some feedback and / or personal thoughts.

Stickman says:

This girl has told you some major lies and you obviously do not trust her enough to enter into a serious, long term relationship. Lingering doubts will eat away at you and you will forever be wondering what she is thinking, what she is doing when she is not with you etc. As you have a thing for Asian women and do not seem to have any problem meeting decent women, try and spend some time searching for a women who you can trust. It'll be a whole lot better. It is hard to see a relationship with this particular girl going the distance.