Stickman Readers' Submissions November 10th, 2003

The Hua Hin Situation

I've spent considerable time trying to decide exactly what it is that makes a Thai woman so beautiful and so irresistible to Western man, as I’m sure many men have. Is it that raven black hair, is it the tiny hands, the tiny body that would make Kylie Minogue look like the back end of a London bus on a Friday rush hour. Is it the way they walk, oh how they walk. Is it those incredible Siamese eyes????

I've come to the conclusion that the old cliché? is true. Much of their beauty is in that incredible smile, that stunning smile that would make the Mona Lisa look like she was frowning.

He Clinic Bangkok

After another bad experience in BKK, a few weeks later…and single again, I decided to treat myself to a couple of weeks in Hua Hin, a pleasant coastal town a few hours south. Upon arrival in the early evening, I was ready for a beer. I had already anticipated there would be lady bars in abundance, so, before heading out, I raised shields, went to yellow alert and made sure my EBGCM systems were at full power (Electronic Bar Girl Counter Measures). I just wanted a beer.

Wondering around, I ate some food, strolled along a few sois to the sound of ‘Hello…Welcome….come have one beer handsome maaan’ I could find nowhere that resembled a ‘family atmosphere’, so I chose a bar…and aimed for the bar. Within seconds, one of those tiny hands was on my shoulder….’Khun Chua Arai?’ I turned to look and…..BANG…with the slightest curling at the corners of her mouth, my armour simply fell apart, a smile so incredible, I was speechless. A half Thai, half Cambodian mix I had never encountered before. Despite my experience, despite my mixed feelings about bar girls, despite everything….I just melted.

Her English was excellent, a sure sign of a lengthy career in the bars, but somehow, it didn’t seem to have tainted her so much. She was lovely to talk to. No pressure was placed on me to bar fine at any point. In fact, the only suggestion of this came from her friend, who asked me several times to bar fine the lady I was talking with ‘she nice lady, she like you, you nice guy, she want you.’…..a common ruse, I know…but this didn’t seem to be the case here.

CBD bangkok

I’d had enough to drink and I was tired, so I asked to check the bill. I wasn’t in any mood for a shag so I said goodbye….she looked perplexed and thoughtful, and then it came…’Can I stay with you, I stay with you for free, I pay my own barfine’. Within a nanosecond, several questions crossed my mind. Am I being set up for a sting operation? Would I wake up to find an empty wallet? Would I wake up minus a kidney?…or does she really like me that much? There was something about her that I felt very comfortable with. I made her promise not to try and fuck me, just stay for talking and sleep together. This made her smile very broad. We left together.

At this point I describe something. She has the most awful tattoos on her body, placed at a time in her life when she was ‘velly clazy’ as she describes it. She has two children, one of which is from an aged American guy who she fell in love with shortly after starting work in the bars. It never ceases to amaze me how many farangs will fuck a prostitute without a condom. There are some major assholes out there in the bars….I’m serious…some MAJOR MAJOR assholes. In fact, most of the ‘gentlemen’ who visit bars for the purpose of purchasing a girlfriend, I would not break bread with, not because they pay for sex, but simply because they are assholes.

When she fell pregnant with his baby, he left saying he had a wife in America but not to worry as he would make her his ‘Mia Noi’. She waited for him for two years without a single call or email from him. She went through a phase of alcoholism, extreme prostitution, and defacing her body with tattoos, penned by an amateur hand.

Despite this, she remains a beautiful woman, in both body and mind. She says she will never love a farang again. I say I will never love a bar girl again.

wonderland clinic

When talking to Thai women, I like to separate myself from other farangs. To that end, I describe myself as a ********* (word omitted because I don’t want you assholes to use it to your advantage) This word usually makes the Thais laugh heartily but they seem to understand why I use it. I asked this lady if she could try to love the *********. She smiled and said she could try. ‘Not all bar lady same. Can you try to love me?’ she said. I said I have to try.

What amazed me the most was her complete honesty, about everything. I told her my one rule….never lie to me. She immediately understood. Most bar girls will say they have only 3 or 4 customers every month because they don’t want you to feel like they are dirty when you fuck them. She was honest and said she had 5 or 6 customers a week!!!! That equates to around 40 or 50 thousand baht a month!!!!

Everything I asked about her, she gave an immediate and straight answer.

I had two wonderful weeks with her in Hua Hin. Her friends in the bar took a shine to me and most nights, when they finished work, would take me to the beach where we drank whisky, looked at tropical storms in the distance and generally had fun. I hasten to add, they didn’t take me because I would pay for everything, in fact, most nights, they would pay for the alcohol at the 7-11 before we went and I was their guest. It was a truly memorable experience and an insight into the life of bargirls I have never before known.

I paid her 1500 baht a night to stay with me but after the first week, I stopped paying her. I also refused to pay her barfine again. She still stayed with me 24-7.

One night while on the beach, a Thai man who runs the beach beds for the tourists approached me and asked me to lend him 300 baht. All expats know that if you lend a Thai man money, you are unlikely to see it again but as this guy was known to my girlfriend, I decided this would make an interesting experiment. I asked her to vouch for him. She said he was a good guy and could lend him the money and he would give it back for sure. A couple of days later, we saw him on the beach and asked for my money. He made a few excuses blah blah blah and I knew the money was gone. It was only 300 baht so I wasn’t bothered in the slightest but it just confirms what I know already….but the significant thing here is this…I am lucky in that I have a very wide field of vision and out of the corner of my eye I could see my girlfriend was really pissed off with this guy. She gave him such a dirty look. She had vouched for him but he had let her down and she felt that somehow her credibility in my eyes had been diminished. She didn’t know that with this act, her credibility had only strengthened.

To further assess her character, I would provoke arguments. I would push things to a point at which anyone would explode with rage….but she just calmly assessed the situation and waited to understand the problem before defusing it. I was amazed at this. A Thai woman that can control her hot heart!!!??? Is this possible? Apparently so. I was falling deeply in love with her. What could I do?! She is the most gentle hearted, honest woman I have ever met, in the West or in the East. Was this possible in a bar girl, especially one who has been in the scene for years?

Sometimes I think that it is better to take a bar girl as your wife for the following reason. They are past the stage of falling in lust. Sex often means nothing to them. Indeed they are often incapable of orgasm or gaining any pleasure from sex at all. This makes the good ones capable of looking through that ‘holiday period’ and concentrating on the important things such as longevity in a relationship.

I’m going to be very crude now, I’m afraid. When I met her, her pussy was bone dry when we made love. In fact she was so dry, I feared she was a lady boy at one point. The condom would break every time and it was always painful for both of us, but as time went by, she would become wet again, slowly slowly each time we made love, she would become wet as she began to enjoy sex again. You can’t imagine how happy this made me. I felt like she had given herself to me in every way. I think you understand.

When I've taken a woman from a bar before, I cannot stop myself from thinking about how many dicks she’s had in her mouth etc etc etc, but with her, it just doesn’t cross my mind. She was my angel within weeks…Honest, gentle hearted and kind. I never thought of her as a bargirl, just a lovely, honest woman….and I was convinced she'd fallen for me.

The time came for me to return to BKK. Thereafter, I had to return to the UK. I told her I could never have a bar girl as my girlfriend or indeed, my wife. I explained in very sure terms what she had to do if we were to stay together…

‘You have to show me that you are not the same as so many bar girls, or indeed, Thai women in general. You have to quit the bar scene immediately and forget forever about your life here. You have to go home to take care of your children. You have to show me that you can be a good wife and a good mother. You have to show me that you can be faithful. You have to do this for six months, during this time I will NOT send you any money. You have to show me that you can work a regular job and be careful with money and take care of yourself. During this time, if you have a GENUINE and VERIFIABLE emergency, only then will I help you.

If you can do this, when I return to Thailand, I will give you everything that I am and if you still want, I will take you as my wife.’

She just gave me that smile and proceeded directly to the bar where she works….and quit, there and then, on the spot. Her employer refused to talk to her anymore. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because my girlfriend was a real money spinner for the bar. Maybe it’s because I refused to pay the ‘Forever Barfine’ of 10,000 baht. I don’t know. Even if the forever barfine was only 1 Baht, I still wouldn't have paid it, it’s the principal of it. I said to her employer ‘I don’t see the name of your bar branded on her ass!!!’

She came to BKK with me the following day where we spent a few days together before my flight home. We also both had a HIV antigen test which were both negative (and what a relief that was). She’s now in Isaan with her family and children where she’s in bed every night by 8 p.m. and up at 6 a.m. When we speak on the phone, she sounds so happy to be with her children again.

‘Really Tee Ruk, I only really want to be with my children and family. Before, it make me very sad when my Son cannot remember me and will not talk to me because I work the bar long time. Now he play with me all the time. I only really want a man with good heart who will love me and take care me…same you. Man who not butterfly, good man. I want to try to love the ********, will you try to love me? Six month is not a long time for me to wait for you. I waiting you come back to me’.

I have friends in Thailand who could probably verify her activities. If necessary I will hire a private investigator but somehow I feel confident she won't let me down.

While in BKK, I took her to a couple of the ‘upstairs gogo bars’ in Patpong where all manner of things are done with a lady’s pussy. I did this because I wanted her to see this. I wanted her to see the raw sleaze of the ping pong bars because I thought it might discourage her further from returning to prostitution. I’ll never forget the look of quiet fascination on her face, and the way I had to catch her jaw as she watched a woman smoke a Marlboro with her pussy.

I’ll probably never be able to discuss quantum mechanics or world politics with her….but that really doesn’t matter to me these days, I just want an honest girl with a good heart who loves me. If that happens to be an ex-prostitute, then so be it. When she asked me why I love her, I answered ‘Tam mai faa sii faa’ (why is the sky blue). I was expecting an in depth reply about how light polarises in the upper atmosphere. Instead, she said ‘When you’re sad, the sky is black, when you’re happy, the sky is blue'……I liked this answer.

We went to a few of my old haunts, a couple of upmarket nightclubs and hotel bars where people looked down at her and indeed looked down at me for taking this ‘lower class woman’. I am a Westerner, I am a *********, the notion of face means nothing to me. I love this woman. I hope she doesn’t let me down.

Stickman says:

I'd love to read an update submission of how things are in 6+ months, both your thoughts on it all, and her development.

nana plaza