Stickman Readers' Submissions November 10th, 2003

Over The Hill Farang

I am one of those over the hill Farangs dating and in love with a cute young Thai girl. I met her at a nightclub in Udon Thani, she was not a bargirl, but a university student), I am more than twice her age (26 vs. 59) but I am neither desperate or lonely. I have been married 4 times to American wives, 3 of whom I am still friends with.

Why do I love my Mini? She has the kindest heart of any lady I know. All of her friends and neighbors adore her almost as much as I do. She is still in University (1.5 years to go to get BA in accounting) School mates call her a genius. Comes from a poor farm family, struggled for years to support herself to get AA degree and send a little home to Papa. (Mama died 10 years ago)

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I support her and we share a house with another couple (Thai) who don't speak English. Does she want my money, Yes. Does she love me for my money, I doubt it. Being a accounting major, she tracks all her expenses, even B6 to get the dog a haircut. Gives me a weekly itemized budget which I deposit in American bank and she withdraws with a ATM card I gave her. Anytime we have had any major falling out and I use the only retaliation method I have from 7,000 miles away, which is I'm going to end the relationship, stop sending money and get out of her life. She breaks down in tears and asks that I don't stop being her love, she will quit school, get a job, keep our home for us if I will just continue to love and visit and write to her.

We have a fantastic relationship, she used to go to e-cafe every day at lunch to talk to me on internet, now I brought her a laptop from home and we talk with web cam every morning and evening plus I call her at lunch time and she is always ecstatic to see me and talk to me. I visit 4 times a year (this is going into my second year) and she calls me her Samee, and says she is my Pa-raya. Will I jump into marriage, no. She knows and knew from beginning the only way and time I will marry is after she graduates and becomes proficient in English.

She speaks English fairly well, writes it great and takes English classes at AUA every semester. I sent her to driving school because she had a dream to learn to drive a car and I felt it would be handy when I visit to rent a car and have freedom to come and go where and when we please. Her next goal is a 14 week Thai foot massage class because I have foot problems and get foot massage every day when I am at home in Udon Thani.

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There are exceptions to every rule and every one of us that is in love thinks we are an exception. Only time will tell in my case. We are coming up on our first anniversary and the only major conflicts we have had is when Papa needed money and she took it out of our bank account without asking. Papa has promised to pay back the B17,000 when the crops come in and I have told him if he does than I will be willing to loan to him in the future, if not no more money, but when I marry his daughter I will give him a monthly salary of B3,000 to B5,000.

He tried to force me to marry her once when we visited, told her in front of friends (in Thai which I don't understand a word of) that she had to marry me now or quit school and go back to work to send him money (he had had a little too much whiskey and was trying to impress his friends on how he can treat his daughter). He has 3 other children that are working but he is kind of greedy and enjoys his whisky and women.

She took me into the house in private and told me what dad had told her she had to do. I refused and said we had an agreement and I wasn't going to alter it just because papa gave her different orders. She was in tears when she heard that, not because I refused to marry her, but because she now had to go out and tell papa and that meant a loss of face for her because she had told him that I really loved her and was planning on marrying her, but also he lost face with his friends. We walked out of the house and did not go back. Took the bus home and she had a difficult decision to make, defy father or not. In the end she decided she loved us both but would follow my advice not papas edict. Papa has now mellowed and become a friend and supporter of our relationship and is welcome in our home and we go visit his.

Stickman says:

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It is good that you are happy. Keep an eye on Papa though.

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