Readers' Submissions

Bitch Session

  • Written by Flummoxed
  • November 15th, 2003
  • 6 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By P



I just wanted to add something on some of the readers' submission stories / feedback that are posted here, and a SHORT story on my experience. It is the likes of complete morons such as Dana, and Troglyte (Mr. Muscle man, my shit don't stink, I'm it etc), that in some way affect the way the good Thai people think of us Farangs. If this is the kind of punter that frequents the LOS, then it is my sincerest hope that they get some "humbling" lessons; perhaps in a Thai prison for being a complete fuckin idiot and a half.

Unfortunately, genuine, kind-hearted men that have a conscience or are not full of themselves are potential victims to be viewed the same way as these complete fucking idiots, and it seems we may have to work harder to overcome such a stereotype.

It ruins it for the rest of us who have nothing but complete respect for such a beautiful place (at times anyway), and who want to assimilate, and absorb all the mysteries, beauty, good / evil the LOS has to offer.

It is my sincerest hope that these punters wind up in a situation that puts the fear of God in them. Mr. "Myshitdon'tstink" needs to spend some time in a Thai prison. I'm sure his "cell mates" would find him as attractive as anyone else. (How about a nice bum stab gang bang by 10 cell mates in 10 minutes to exercise that sphincter muscle buddy). I hope to god he posts again only to tell of such a story, but it will probably be some poor bastard ending up in that predicament who had nothing but the best intentions while in LOS, and was set up in a drug scandal, or god knows what else, as I'm sure the stories are unending.

I had one of the most wonderful times in LOS. (I went to LOS to get a passport stamp only so I could return to India to continue my contract.) It turned out to be one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and had no idea what I was getting into.)

The temples, the markets, the food, and my girls' hometown in Ubon Ratchathani with the candle festival (Buddhist Lent), and Songkran was a wonderful experience for me. As one who plays guitar and played in bands, I had played with some of the bands in Soi Cowboy, and in Ubon Ratchathani (UR). It was so nice to experience playing with Thai musicians. They are very good too, and were quite good. In fact, one time in UR I went into the same bar I had been in 4 months before, and sat and had a beer. There the same band was playing. I didn't think they remembered me, and I didn't even look at them. It was to my surprise that I heard my name being called, and being invited up on stage to play with them, as they had remembered my name, and the songs we played. It's something that just doesn't happen in Canada.

Hell I've been to bars here, and have known the musicians for years, and do you think they ever once offer to have me up on stage to play a song with them. It struck me big time as I drove home (whilst trying to keep my balls from shrivelling up inside me from the biting winter cold) and really started to understand this is the way the Thais are.

To cut a long story short, there was only one BG I was with my whole time there, and still today she calls me, and text messages me all the time. She has not asked, not even once for money, but wants me to come back and see her, and try to live in Ubon. The education level is not exactly known but lets say 7 years. Normal for Isaan I guess. She is not the most attractive girl I had seen, but I enjoyed being with her, and she is not at all immature, compared to the others I had come across. I wanted to buy a gold necklace for her (and me), but she wanted to go somewhere else to buy it, saying that the particular store we were in on Sukhumvit Soi 15 was expensive, which I thought was not a bad price. A 60 baht taxi ride down Sukhumvit, and the same necklace was half price. 2 for 1. It was nice that she had that frugal streak in her, and saved me the money. How many other BG's would have done the same. I'll never know I guess.

I sit in Canada writing this, and wonder if I should leave it as a memory, or pursue some sort of life outside of Canada. Guys tell me you would be bored there, but the thing is…I'm bored where I am now, and at 40, don't feel like getting back with the lady that was unfaithful to me 7 years ago, and now wants to get back together. It was not a nice time in my life, although we could now pool our monies together, and have a nice house – paid for. Why do I feel no comfort in that thought? Let alone the fucking winters here don't get any better with age either.

I work in telecoms which involves travel, and would not be living in Thailand full time, but rather, a home based scenario. The only thing is I would want to be the provider, and worry if the work will dry up (citing cheaper labour around the world once they know how to do the same job as I). I know how important that is to a Thai lady, but it's the same for the farang women here.

So, what to do. I've never married, have no kids, but the little lady in the LOS has a little boy who is the cutest little guy, and is very good. (Hell compared to some of the whiney little bastards in North America, he was a pleasure to be around).

It was the nicest feeling in the world to set her younger sister up with a computer system, which I helped build, and buying a pair of running shoes for the little guy with flashing lights on them, of which he was running around all day with them on, and loved them. Try buying a spoiled kid in North America something like that, and it just gets lost in all the other toys, and shit laying around; unappreciated. The little sister "Noi" all of 12 years old, had already made her first bit of money printing off invitations on the computer I bought for her the next day. She knew how to use that computer cuz she takes it in school, but for obvious reasons is not able to afford one on a rice-farmers salary. Not bad for a poor girl from Isaan. It was a great feeling, and made me feel that I had actually given something back to the LOS, for the things and emotions it had brought to me. Perhaps one girl that maybe, just maybe won't be taking the BKK Express bus in 6 years time working the bar scene as well, which could very well be a possibility down the road. Maybe I made a difference, and I think now of my happiness more than anything now. I want to contribute more.

(Unlike Mr. Macho Shyte-Head who thinks he's gods gift to the planet, and acts like a complete fucking idiot that would easily land him a good shit kicking here in the bars of Canada if he acted like that. God help him if he takes his attitude too far, cuz nobody else will.)

Stickman says:

Don't let others get you to upset. Yeah, there are some questionable folks in Bangkok but as the old saying goes, there is a clown in every circus.