The Sperminator – He’ll Be Back But Your Hymen Won’t

After two weeks here, I'd become very discouraged about the bar girls. Fourteen nights and not a single good fuck. Well, I did receive good service from a gal I picked up off the beach boardwalk one horny afternoon, so yesterday I thought I'd try to find her again.

I didn't find her, but I did find a girl to do me right. She's 35, rather plump, and not that pretty, but she looked healthy, had a nice warm smile and didn't look too deranged. Most of the women on the beach road look terrifying, insane and vicious.

Well, she massaged me, she blew me and we fucked. She was good and she was into it. When she left a couple hours later, I was satisfied. I spent the rest of the day alone in my room reading books.

Around 7 PM, I drank several glasses of gin soda and went out to eat. I was feeling drunk and jolly. As I walked down Soi 8, I couldn't resist chatting with some of the literally hundreds of girls screaming out to me. I am a different person when I'm drunk. I become an extrovert. Sometimes this is good. Last night it was very good, because I had a stroke of luck that I would have missed had I been my usual sober grouchy self. (Having already had sex that day, I wouldn't have bothered talking to the girls had I been sober).

I saw a girl that looked just my type: 23 years old (and I checked her ID). Pretty, but not too pretty (yes, there is such a thing). Perfect figure. 45 kilos (99 lbs.) Warm smile with a touch of seriousness in her features. Just a touch. Good sense of humour. I interviewed her, bar fined her and took her to dinner. Ordered a feast: jungle chicken (I can't begin to describe it. It's full of strange flavours and delicious.), Curried crab, fried shrimp with asparagus, fried mixed vegetables, rice, drinks. Price: 500 baht ($12 USD). God, I love Thailand!

Back at my place, she said she didn't know how to massage, but I insisted she try and she gave me one of the best massages I've had in years. She has intelligent hands. Few people do.

Then it was time to get naughty. She kissed well. Very well. Nice full lips and just enough tongue. I spent a long time just kissing and caressing her. What a body! Skin so soft. Mmmm. Then, I gently nudged her head downwards. She took me in her mouth, and just like the massage, she had a good instinctive feel for it. I didn't want it to finish this way, so I put on a condom and some K-Y and rolled her onto her back. She didn't seem to want to spread her legs. I asked what was wrong. "Nothing's wrong!" I tried again. Her legs kept clamping shut on me and squeezing me out. I asked her again, what the problem was. I asked if she wanted to do this and she said that she DID. Then she said, if she told me what she was afraid of, I wouldn't believe her. I explained that after 12 years of coming to Thailand, NOTHING surprises me anymore. So, she told me. She told me that she doesn't like Thai men and has never had a boyfriend. "What? Are you telling me you're a virgin?," I asked. "Yes," she said, "I'm sorry!" (She's sorry! SORRY!) "That's OK sweetheart, I don't mind at all!!!" Whoo Hoo! What FUN we're gonna have tonight! "Are you sure you want to do this?" She confirmed that she was.

What followed was about an hour of very strenuous work. I must have gone through half a tube of K-Y and a good deal of spit. I kept telling her she'd have to relax, but she just kept tensing up every time I'd start to work it in. She was trembling. I went slowly. I was gentle. I was patient. But at a certain point I realized it's time to just pin those spring-loaded legs back and ram it home. The hymen is a tough little barrier that I wasn't going to penetrate by being overly-delicate. (Think of how a doctor gives an injection. He does not push the needle in slowly. He gives a quick, sudden jab and then you're grateful it's over.) I asked her again if she wanted to stop, but she insisted that we continue. Her eyes were watery with pain, and I really do not enjoy seeing a woman suffer, but this is natural and necessary and not ordained by me. If she ever gives birth, she'll scream in agony then too, and it will be a whole lot worse than this.

Once I finally managed to make a few good full strokes, it didn't take long to finish. I mean, it was TIGHT in there! Wonderfully tight. Why can't women stay tight like this forever? Ask your doctor. Anyway, the deed done, I climbed off and went to the shower. Then she showered. We talked. I drank. I wanted to go out, and asked her if she felt up to it (she still seemed to be experiencing some discomfort). She said "OK."

We walked along the beach boardwalk, under the moonlight, past all the hookers and hissing, croaking, squawking katoeys. When I'm alone, the katoeys actually grab at me, and it's all I can do to keep from hitting them. When I'm with a girl they just stare from the shadows, hating me. Vermin.

We got to Soi Yamato and turned in. It was 1:30 AM. Just enough time for a drink at the bar on the corner. I ordered a Heineken and she got a Coke. I lit a cigar. LOSO was playing on the stereo and I was drunk enough to sing the songs I knew. The girls all expressed amazement that I could sing Thai songs. I was a star. I was an ass. But, it felt good. And my girl. MY GIRL! She was so, so beautiful nuzzled closely by my side! She was beaming, radiant, and I was beaming right back at her, gazing lovingly into those beautiful, soft brown eyes. Everybody was smiling at us like we had just been married- which misapprehension does bear a certain resemblance to the truth. We may not have gotten married, but we'd just had a wedding night!

After word: I realize some people might find this story somewhat shocking, if they believe it at all. As a matter of fact, this girl was actually the THIRD virgin I have discovered at a beer bar so far! (And they were ALL ADULTS, in their early twenties). Apparently it's not that unusual for a girl to decide to lose her virginity this way. Why would they do this? I can only speculate. Like a lot of bar girls, they claim to dislike Thai men. They look around their village and see how their older sisters and friends get treated by their boyfriends and husbands. Maybe they don't like what they see. Perhaps they notice that after marrying an abusive man and the marriage failing, women often end up working at a bar to support a child or two. They might notice a pattern and ask themselves: why not skip the preliminaries and just go straight to the bars? Please understand, I'm not making such generalizations about Thai men- the bar girls I hear from are. And one has to take whatever they say with a grain of salt. Nonetheless, this is all I have to go on in forming a theory. And if you still think it's JUST NOT RIGHT, consider: These women have made up their minds to do this before meeting me, and if I didn't do the honours, the next guy to come along would. So, I just make very certain that she REALLY wants to go ahead, then proceed as gently and carefully as possible. And, is it really any worse than having her cherry popped by some clumsy, pimple-faced teenage boyfriend in the back of his father's borrowed bullock cart parked in a rice paddy somewhere in Isaan?

I don't actively seek out virgins to deflower, but when I do come across one, I enjoy the novelty of the experience. I certainly wouldn't be very happy if the only women I could sleep with were virgins. Generally speaking, sex with a somewhat-experienced woman is far more enjoyable to me.

I've slept with this gal several nights now, and every time gets better. She's finally relaxed about it, no longer in any pain, and actually beginning to enjoy the experience. We get along very well. I really like her. I take her out for dinner, movies, strolls around town, etc., but I have no intentions of marrying her or even being her boyfriend. From the very first night together, I have made this crystal clear (as I do with all bar girls I take out). Honesty is always the best policy.

Stickman says:

I'm still not sure what to make of this… It sure is a REALLY sad way for a girl to lose her virginity, but if she is going to do it in the bars, and like you said she had already made her mind up to do that, then she is probably better off with a guy like you who was easy with her than some of the creeps out there. As I read this, I immediately started thinking that it was all wrong, but yeah, her mind had been made up already… Now, if ever there was a submission to stir up a hornet's nest, it is this…