Easy Sex Isn’t Always Good
Let me start by saying I respect Stick's opinion, and most of the others who submit here. I'm just adding my experience.
There sure are a lot of opinions about girls in Thailand, especially the ones that charge you money to be with them. Of course, I have my opinions too. Stickman and myself have not always seen eye to eye, but on one point, I do agree with him, whether it's for the better or not. It has to do with how going habitually with bargirls can ruin possible future chances of a romantic relationship or satisfying monogamy.
When I first came to Thailand less than three years ago, I had communicated with girls on the web before I got there, and had some dates set up. I also saw a few girls in the nightlife business. Yes, I fell in love and was going to get married, as so many other men have. I had always had the thought that some day I wanted to settle down, and I was very, very happy with the lady that I had committed to. But it wasn't to be.
I will make this fairly short, and not go into long stories. But I was engaged 3 times to Thai girls, and at one point living with an absolutely stunning Chinese Thai girl in California that I met on the plane. She came from a very wealthy family, never asked me for a dime, and truly loved me. I enjoyed her company more than any other lady I have been with. She lost her virginity with me and wanted to marry. There were some complications with her family wanting her to get her Master's degree in the USA first. But anyway…I broke up with her and moved to Thailand for 7 months. And I have made 9 round trips flights there in less than 3 years. To this day, I miss her.
I got very involved in the nightlife. At the same time, I dated a pharmacist, a high school teacher, a nurse, and a loan officer. I had to make some amends to these very nice, educated Thai girls. I cheated on all of them. I hurt them. Not good.
I have been with uncountable numbers of women in Thailand now, and even though I can speak the language okay now, and have many opportunities to have relationships with "nice" ladies there, I don't anymore. Why? Because it has now become too difficult for me to be involved in a monogamous, romantic relationship. And I don't think it is right to get involved when I will end up hurting them. It's just wrong.
On a positive note, I have become more comfortable with being a bad boy and enjoy my many different bar girl friends, and no longer hide the fact that I am a super butterfly. And maybe I saved myself a lot of grief by staying single. I don't know for sure. I truly do love Thailand, and I have traveled the country over, and stayed in small villages and in the mountains, and seen countless wonders in the mountains, islands and all areas. It is definitely a lesson in the culture staying in small villages that are far away from any city. I have many Thai and farang friends in Thailand, and will spend a lot of my time there in the future.
But I will say, that if you have a relationship now, and you are cheating on her in Thailand, you have probably crossed the line from which it is very difficult return. In my case, I have gotten very used to the casual easy sex, taking multiple women at one time, or sometimes taking one for a few days, and then trading off. Some of my bargirl friends bring other friends with them to participate in our antics. We still go out to the movies, have dinner, go to night clubs, Karaoke, having fun, and sometimes I take a girl on a short trip with me, but at this moment I have TOTALLY lost the capacity to have a true relationship with any woman. And I'm not complaining, per se. I put myself in this position. This is just a warning to those who think they might be able to participate in the nightlife girls, and then go back to a loving one on one relationship. It's not so easy to be satisfied by one lady after you get use to having multiple beauties.
At the moment, I stay in regular contact with many women in Thailand, and will visit many of them, but I no longer see the "nice" girls, because I know I will hurt them, and I don't want that on my head.
For me, and I speak for myself only… I think the only way I could ever get married and have a "normal" relationship (whatever you might consider that to be) is if I totally cut out the naughty girls for a very long period of time, and concentrated on getting more in touch with what it used to feel like to fall in love, and dating, and romance. At the moment that doesn't seem to be on the cards for me. And I'm laughing as I type this, and crying at the same time. Why?
Because I do love the easy sex with pretty ladies. But at the same time I love the land of Thailand, and see some of my friends in nice relationships, raising families and settling down. And in the back on my mind, this some day I will settle down. But oh, well. This is my life for now.
If you want a nice lady, or even if you want to have more fun with the bar girls, learn to speak Thai, learn more about the history of the country, travel to places outside of the major cities. Take it easy, and don't get upset when Thai people don't do things your way. LOL. By the way, Hello Stickman. You warned me. Now I'm warning your readers again.
Peace to all,
I strongly agree with the message of your article. Every time you do the dirty with a new sexual partner, I feel that you lose a little bit of yourself, like a piece of your own innocence. And one only has so much to give before it has all gone. Give it all away and the ability to love – and be loved – becomes so much more difficult.
I upset more than a few people when I started writing about the naughty nightlife in a negative way. But what few people realised was that a good part of the reason for this was to extricate myself from it. I knew if I was misbehaving, I would find it hard to settle down and ultimately, that is what I really wanted – and what I think most people want. I said all sorts of negative things about the nightlife in an effort to make it tough on myself to be involved in it.
It worked! I got out of the bar scene!
If one wants to settle down, one really has to consider their involvement in the naughty nightlife carefully.