Time For A DNA Test

I'm from UK but live in Singapore so I get to visit LOS quite a lot usually every 2 to 3 months, long weekend Blitzkrieg type trips being my preference.

I thought I’d relate my Thai predicament to you not so much for advice but more for an alternate opinion by yourself and any of you readers.

I'll try and keep it concise. I met a girl in a gogo in Bangkok about 3 years ago. She made all the running and didn’t seem to be money mad, I gave her 500 baht and never paid the bar. After a bit of traveling I hooked up with her again and while pissed I ended up going doing the unthinkable and going bareback, more than once. She assured me afterwards she did not have HIV and even showed my a recent certificate to prove (I know this means absolutely fuck all in LOS) but I had a test a over a year later and didn’t have it, phew.

At the time I was living in UK so on my return daily emails started asking for my phone number which I eventually gave her. Without exaggerating she phoned me everyday for 10 months, I never phoned her once, there was a period about 8-9 months after my return when she did not call for a week but then she was calling again, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day.

On my return to LOS I was in for a shock, she had lost a lot of weight, was throwing up in the mornings and was acting like a crazy mutha fucka for no apparent reason. She followed me to Pattaya (she seemed to be carrying a lot of money as well and she had not worked for a few months so obviously somebody was sending big bucks over). Anyway the craziness pissed me off big time so I told her to leave me alone. I had no long-term intentions anyway and it stopped being fun. I don’t wanna sound heartless but she works in a gogo bar and enjoys it so I’m hardly looking at wife material.

She phoned my room a few times and then after I left I got a few emails and calls but not as many as before. Eventually I moved to Singapore but we stayed in touch. On one of my short trips to BKK we met up and she totally shocked me.

She showed me a photo of a baby and told me it was mine, she explained all the dates and they added up. Now she appears stupid but I think it’s an act and she's actually quite smart. She said she never told me before (the baby was one year old then) because she thought I was not interested and her parents brought the kid up in Khon Kaen. Now I’m shocked and intrigued by all this. Yes the baby could be mine. I barebacked (like an idiot) and the dates add up plus her erratic behaviour BUT who else barebacked her? (One of my mates actually bar fined and fucked her without knowing she was the one I had told him about which I actually found quite funny, she denied it though.) She still was not asking for any cash commitment.

A few months later she said I should help out which is not a problem for me but I ain't paying for somebody else’s baby. I told her I’d only pay after a positive DNA test which she agreed to but it had to be in Khon Kaen. Now I don’t mind traveling to Khon Kaen but I would have no faith in anything a local doctor told me. It would be so easy for the family to bribe the doc up there. Also she gets a bit funky when I mention the child may not be mine (is that touching a nerve?) Is it unreasonable for me to insist she bring a 2 year old child from Khon Kaen to BKK?

In your opinion what the fuck is going on in her mind, I’m pretty unsure of things. I know she goes with other guys and I’m fine with that since I don’t want her but what’s her angle? Is she playing the long game cash wise?

I hope I don’t appear to be a heartless cunt coz I ain’t its just I know a lot of guys get ripped off and I don’t intend on joining their ranks. Thankfully I have no emotional attachment to her so my vision is clearer.

So what do you think? I know I’m a dumb asshole for bare backing but this is the dilemma I find myself in. I'm heading back to BKK next week and she wants me to go to Khon Kaen with her for a couple of days.

Stickman says:

The number of emails I get about this sort of thing is amazing. In the past I did some investigations into this sort of thing and in each case, the girl either didn’t have a baby (and was never pregnant at that time), the baby wasn’t hers or it wasn’t his. But yeah, one does hear of more than a few cases when a Westerner does get a local girl pregnant ­ so it does happen.

There are a zillion angles here and I will not go into all of them. We’re all big boys here and we all understand them. No sermon in morals from Stick today.

I think it is not unreasonable for you to request that the DNA test to be done in Bangkok. I personally would NOT trust a doctor in Khon Kaen with this sort of thing. You might have to pay for her to come down here but even return flights are only around 4,000 baht.

As it sounds like you have no affection with the women in question and the flame is not going to reignite and you are not going to be together, a monthly stipend on around 5,000 baht should be enough to ensure that the child is well fed, clothed and also has a few treats from time to time. Of course, that is assuming that the baby is indeed yours. Good luck.