Readers' Submissions

Time For A DNA Test Part 2

  • Written by Anonymous
  • September 13th, 2003
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By Young Irishman



I am a 23 year old Irishman who has just arrived home from Pattaya . Having spent 1 month in Pattaya in September 2002 I met a girl with who I spent 90% of my time with. She was 30 year old and she told me she had been working in Pattaya for 14 years she had been married to a German man for a period and had had spent some time in Germany( I know there is some truth to this story because I have seen her passport with the the stamps) so she has got a lot of experience and a good liar.

When I met her we stayed in my hotel for 2 days where engaged in "bedroom olympics" condom free and also the smoking of illegal substances she then asked me to move into her apartment on central road she told me that I would have to pay the rent for a month even though I was only planning to stay for 2 weeks I said ok (why not I was on holiday and had only paid for 3 days in my hotel) big mistake! The apartment was fine air conditioned, hot water, cable TV she even had a motor bike. Fuck, it was better than my hotel but it confirmed my suspicions that she was a real cunning girl and probably had plenty of farangs sending her money which she most likely smoked but that’s not a problem for me. Things continued as normal when I got into her apartment but not for long thing soon started to go sour.

It started off when she only wanted to go to bars that she wanted to go to, usually crap bars with no customers in a far flung corner of Soi Buacow with a pool table like a cabbage patch. If we didn’t go there we go for a game of cards with her friends – cards usually involves more smoking of illegal substances than actually playing cards – not to mention gambling, but I still went along as I was fond of a smoke.

The trouble started when the card game was over and it was time to go back to the apartment. As sleeping was not on the agenda, even impossible, we engaged in bedroom olympics but due to a lack of sleep and other factors, things usually ended up with everything from glass bottles to padlocks being used as murder weapons. It was every second morning I would end up packing my bags and leaving only to get as far as reception and I would hear her calling me back. I don’t know why I used to go back, probably because I had paid for the room and I was too tight to pay for a new one.

So as my 2 weeks was drawing to an end and my head totally wrecked I made another big mistake. I decided in some yaba crazed moment that I was not going to go home and instead I was going to stay longer. It wasn’t long and I was regretting this decision as I was due to go back to work and I phoned my boss and told him that I quit. So things carried on for me and my "girlfriend" as before for another 2 weeks until I had had enough of her murder attempts and totally hated the fxxxen place. She just wrecked my head and I was ready to fuck her off the balcony. She even ended up wrecking a bar in Soi 8 by firing pool ball, cues and even a calculator – and most of the bar at the cashier because the cashier had finished her shift and had asked me to pay the bill. I don’t know why she did it but I decided I was off.

So I left for home 2 days later vowing never to go back to Thailand. On march 5, 2003 I found myself back in the kingdom but older and wiser this time. I was staying for 6 months. Things were going ok apart from writing off a motorbike (which I never paid a baht to replace) and getting ripped off by Pattaya Memorial Hospital when one day late in April I see a friend of my old "girlfriend" and she tells me she is pregnant and that I may be the father. I dismiss this as total bullshit or scam.

So it is half way trough May and my phone rings I don’t recognise the number so I answer the phone and its her. She tells me that she want to see me so the next day she comes to my apartment and there she is, pregnant for sure but I still smell a scam. She tells me the baby is due soon so I do my maths and things seem to add up but I’m still suspicious. The baby was born on the 31 May. At this point I think it is worth doing a DNA test. So on the 7 June we head for Bangkok Pattaya Hospital. We do the test and I hand over 18k baht and am told to come back in one month. I spend the month living with her and the baby in some other farang's condo that he left her stay in while she was pregnant while he is back home, just a nice guy I suppose – or possible another father for the child. The 7 of July comes and I head for Nankok Pattaya Hospital for the results. The doctor hands me the results and tells me that I am the father and I just sit there stunned. I can't even talk. Eventually the time comes and its time to go home it seems that I am the father so I leave for home on the 31st of July but I am still not sure if I am the father. I just don’t trust anybody in Thailand. I just think they might have somehow fixed the results of the DNA test. What do you think?

Stickman says:

Congratulations, you're a Dad! I would believe the results totally…I really do not think they'd doctor the test results…

You were out of control when you got this bird pregnant and now you must pay for it for the rest of your life. Whether you like it or not, you now have a new responsibility. Good luck. Write again in a year and let us know how it's going. I guess if you're a good Irish boy, you might even marry her. I wonder what she'll use to try and kill you with next?

This story is a classic example of how things can go badly wrong in Thailand.