Stickman Readers' Submissions September 22nd, 2003

Thai Thoughts And Anecdotes Part 13

1) Noy and I have a history. I am her favourite customer. I know this for a fact. She always gives me a big wai when I pay her, and that is a sign of respect usually reserved for monks. One of the things I like about Noy is her childlike simplicity. One day she asks me the difference between Americans and Canadians. I pat her on the head and explain that Canada has Michael J Fox and we Americans have a nuclear arsenal. I make her give me a long, slow blowjob while I whistle the Star Spangled Banner and I hold her head down so that she has to swallow. I think Noy and I might have a future together.

2) I head for Pattaya. I love this place. What I love the most is to get up while the sun is still rising, and walk along the beach road, letting the salty sea air blow gently through the hairs on my legs. I am a predator, on the hunt. My quest is a cup of Starbucks coffee and a bag of donuts.

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More often than not I am distracted on my hunt and end up having sex with a early rising katoey or a couple of ladies of the night on their way home. Today I see two office girls walking towards me, smiling demurely. I can see they want me and I offer them five hundred baht for short time. They hurry past me, averting their eyes. My sweet sex talk has clearly aroused them to orgasm on the spot and they are too embarrassed to reveal their wetness.

A street sweeper with waist length hair is cleaning the pavement. I slip my hand between her plump thighs but in her excitement she hits my head with her brush, then rushes away, too embarrassed to apologise. I call after her, telling her that I am not offended, but she is too shy to return.

A young student in a tight-fitting uniform of black skirt and white shirt, loaded down with an armful of text books, smiles and wishes me a good morning. I take out my dick and wave it at her, but she blanches and hurries away. I am clearly too big for her. I call after her and tell her that I will be gentle with her, but to no avail.

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The hunt is successful. I return to my room in the AA Hotel with a steaming cup of coffee and a bag of jelly donuts. I told the girls in Starbucks to join me for a morning of hot sex and they all nodded and blushed. I am an alpha male and they are keen to sample my delights. After an hour they haven't arrived so I spread the jelly donuts on the bed and make love to them, one by one, until there is nothing but crumbs and jam stains on the sheets. I shower and phone Housekeeping. I love this country.

3) There isn't a day goes by when I don't thank my lucky stars that I discovered Thailand. It must have been fate. There is no other explanation. In what other country is age revered? I am 53 years old with a heart condition and in America that would make me an old fart. Here, in the Land of Smiles, I am a sex God. An alpha male. They love my beer belly (a sign of wealth) and my bald head (a sign of wisdom). I sit in a gogo bar, jiggling little Wan on my knee and she giggles with delight as she rubs my belly and my bald head. 'Ae Hua larn' she cries, which I think means 'I love you'.

Wan is a little angel. A real cutie. Her face is a bit monkeyish but she has a body to die for. Boyish hips, boyish breasts, a boyish face. I think I love her. And I think she loves me. I want to take her back to my room, put her between two slices of bread and spread mustard over her.

Wan tells me that I am the most handsome man she has ever slept with, and I believe her. I can see how much she loves me. Her passion is overwhelming. As I lie her down on the bed she closes her eyes, turns her head and grits her teeth she is so aroused. It is all I can do to contain myself. I think serene thoughts as I pound into her. It takes me a full three minutes before I come. A record. There are tears in Wan's eyes. She is as moved as I am. I hold her in my arms and whisper into her ear. She shudders, the aftershock of orgasm. I love this country.

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4) Back in Bangkok, I can't wait to go back to my favourite Nana Plaza gogo bar, Obsession. The katoeys there are always so pleased to see me. 'Ae Kwai Mar Lao' they shout, which I think means 'that good looking American guy is back.'

I choose two alpha girls who tower over me in their high heels as we head back to the Dynasty Hotel. Long hair, longer legs, and jutting breasts. The girls at reception giggle and smile as they see my conquests and I puff out my chest with pride. I am an alpha male, strutting my stuff with two hot ladies of the night. I am a king.

Once inside my room, my kingdom, I am dismayed to discover that I am out of condoms. Never mind, Thai condoms are generally too big for me anyway, so I decide to go bareback. They ride me until dawn. I am their steed. Their racehorse. Their donkey.

There are those lesser mortals who say that going with katoeys is a sign of gayness. But on my hands on knees, taking it up the backside while squealing like a stuck pig, I am secure in my sexuality. I love this country. I love these people. And they love me.

Stickman says:


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