Readers' Submissions

I Love You Too Much

  • Written by Chrismangel
  • September 26th, 2003
  • 3 min read




I am flying to my second life was my companion shouting when the plane took of, destination Bangkok. He was a middle-aged, good looking man who had sold everything he had to build up a new future in the land of smiles. From my conversation, I could say that the man knew a lot about bars, but a little about Thailand. He had invested in a bar so that he was secured for his future. Everybody has to do something to earn money, but the way he spoke about Thai ladies was offensive. Fuck, pay and forget would be the only words if I had to make a summary of this discussion.

Every time when I visit Pattaya I have a little chat with him at the bar where he has invest his money. Then he tells me stories about his new adventures, about the newest bar lady he hired and about how business is going. On one occasion when I sat in the bar I didn’t saw him and I asked the other owner where he was. He told me that he took his wife on holiday to visit his family. I couldn’t believe it that he was married with a Thai lady. I thought finally he has changed his mind about the ladies. On another visit he was back from his holiday and I had the chance to meet his wife. She looked very happy and I liked her because she had a good sense of humour. She had quit the bar and had found another job in a shop. She told me that she came every day with her husband to the bar and stayed a couple of hours and then went back home alone. Throughout the years my wife and her became friends. We never spoke about her marriage because it wasn’t our business we thought. But I knew from several other bar girls that she didn’t like the attitude of her husband and that she tried everything to avoid the bar scene. I noticed not a single problem. I knew she was very sensitive but she always was happy. She never told us what she felt when here husband was on the run to his next prey. We also never asked.

Last month I got a phone call from this man. He told me that she had committed suicide. He had find a small note with the few English words she knew:” I love you too much”. What’s this supposed to mean he asked me……I disconnected the phone and cried.

I know that ladies who work in a bar are prostitutes. Are they all doing this for the same reason as a prostitute from my country? Some are, some aren’t. Ladies of my country have more opportunities to avoid this profession. They can go to schools with qualified teachers, not by paying x thousand baths a year, but because it is free. They can go to every university they want, what ever their background is. If they finished school and don’t find work they can get help from the government. If they lose their job, the boss must pay compensation. If they are sick and need medical-care the doctor is obliged to help them. If they are left alone by there husband and have children, the court looks for solutions for the children. I am aware that I have made it simple but I only want to explain that Thailand hasn’t something to rest on. If you haven’t a job you die. So many Thai ladies take the last outfall to survive: prostitution. Every bar owner knows that, every sex-tourist knows that. I don’t want to give a lecture. I am a smoker and I know I can harm myself and my family so when I want to smoke I go outside the house. Many bar owners and sex-tourists don’t bother how they practice their hobby and take only the profit.

In the many years I have been in Thailand I read and I see the ooh so many bad things bargirls do. You can’t open a website about Thailand if you are confronted with this subject. When you read those stories please ask yourself why have they done it, because you only see it through the eyes of the falang. I am sure if you could analyse each case there are many of them based on misunderstanding and selfishness not from the bargirl but from the farang.

Stickman says:

Suicide is sad. It is really hard to say what happened in this instance.