Stickman Readers' Submissions September 17th, 2003

Farang Men Aren’t All Bad

By Kenre

Free speech is everything, and it's always good to hear another viewpoint, but my Buddha I had a hard time stomaching the recent posting by 'Barbiere'. If you haven't already looked at it, do so now, it's called Some Thoughts On The Crackdown And Farang Behaviour.'

He Clinic Bangkok

Now, I'm no fan of the sex trade. And no one dislikes sex tourists more than me. But Barbiere goes over the top with a bitter and vitriolic attack on the humble farang male. I don't know if Barbiere is male or female but it's the worst sort of Feminazi nonsense you'll ever see in print.

A few years back when I was working in Hong Kong, I had lunch with a couple out from the UK. She was quite pretty, tall, long chestnut hair, fair figure. Her husband was fat, balding, and a bit sweaty. Why had she married him? No idea. Maybe he had a good heart. They wanted to do business with the company I worked for and wanted to pick my brains.

Fine. So after lunch, over coffee, she looks at me and says 'I suppose you've got a pretty little Asian girlfriend then?'

CBD bangkok

I smiled and didn't know what to say. She wasn't being nice about it. I knew what she meant. And yes, I had a pretty little Asian girlfriend. Chinese. Spoke fluent English, Manadarin, Cantonese and Japanese. Graduated in political science from a top New York university. Lived in a US$1 million apartment overlooking the harbour. Drove a green MGB and a Suzuki Jeep. Had a high powered and demanding job. And is the sole heir to a fortune I'd estimate at US$80 million (depending on the state of the property and stock market).

I can't think of a single point on which the farang woman was better than my 'pretty little Asian girlfriend.' Not one. But there was no point in saying anything to her. I just smiled and let her cling to her little dream. That she was superior for no other reason than her country of birth. I hope she still has her podgy, balding little farang husband.

It's so easy to be judgemental. And it makes you feel good. Makes you feel superior. That's why Barbiere posted what he/she did. To make himself/herself feel good. So let's burst Barbiere's bubble, shall we?

Barbiere writes: “As an occasional reader of your and the bangkoktonight websites, I am somewhat perplexed to note the howls of anguish emanating because of the crackdown on gogo bars and sex shows at Nana Entertainment Plaza, Patpong, Soi Cowboy and other such venues in Thailand. “

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Really? If you are perplexed, why do you then plunge into a tirade of abuse against farangs who go to the bars? Methinks you are trying to be sarcastic. One of the things we really like about Thai girls is that sarcasm is not a weapon they use. The Feminazis love to put down men. It's in their nature. Asian women don't. So is it any wonder which we prefer?

Barbiere writes: "Such howling articulates and defines farang bar mentality, which considers the parading of naked women, the insertion of ping pong balls and other objects into female genitals, organizing bars that promote hand / blow jobs at their premises, as ‘entertainment’. How can one categorize the ‘entertainment value’ of acts allowing such degradation of women?

Dunno? How do girls feel about the Chippendales? Most Feminazis I meet love the idea of male strippers. Sauce for the goose, etc. I'm not going to defend sex shows, or the people who go to see them. But the girls who do sex shows do it by choice. And they are paid extra to do it.

Barbiere writes: "Gogo bars and the like, are a farang invention. Such venues also depend mainly on farang patronage for their existence. The part of the sex industry catering to Thais and to Japanese, does not include gogo bars and sex shows. (Actually, parts do – Stick) Prostitution exists in every country in the world, however, gogo bar type activities are a peculiarly North American / European / Australian creation. It is worthwhile to note that the persons who often (partially) own and operate such venues in Thailand and in the Philippines, are predominantly farang."

True. It was farangs who put together hookers and music. No question. But please don’t tell me that’s any worse than the local prostitution scene. Farangs don't chain underage Burmese girls to beds and sell them at twenty baht a screw. Farangs didn't invent the massage parlous where numbered girls sit behind a window and have no choice in who chooses to have sex with them. The Thais did that.

The go-go bars are a farang invention, but no girl is forced to work there. (Yes, you could argue that their economic situation forces them to do it, but you might as well say that men are forced to become dustmen or go down coal mines. Everyone would love to have money for nothing. But most of us have to work for a living.) Girls in go-go bars are well paid and get to choose who they go out with. The girls in the Thai go-go bars get a better deal than the streetwalkers in London or New York. That's a fact.

So please don't pretend that the Thai sex industry is in any way superior to the farang one. It shows your lack of knowledge, or more likely your prejudice. There are sex scenes the world over. There isn't a city without prostition. And don't get me started on the prostitution scene in Japan. There is more paid for underage sex there than anywhere.

Barbiere writes: "I’m sure that most of your website users are aware of the behaviour and physical characteristics of the typical beer / gogo bar habitu?, visa renewal artist, English language teacher and the like who love to make Thailand their home. These are generally persons so unattractive that no woman from their homeland will ever be caught dead with them. How come that such people are predominantly farang? Why don’t we see more Japanese, Singaporeans, Taiwanese and Koreans owning gogo or beer bars and setting up shop in Thailand? "

Jesus H Christ, what a generalisation. It’s like saying that all farang women are fat, ugly and smell bad. Give me a break. Yes, there are fat, ugly, old guys who go to gogo bars. But there are young, goodlooking ones there too. And I'd say that these days it tends to be the latter. I'm not saying that's a good thing, but it's a typical Feminazi generalisation to say that only old fat losers like to go to gogo bars. They don't. There are gogo bars in London packed with City workers earning six and seven figure salaries. In New York it costs upwards of US$20 to buy a girl a drink. Lots of goodlooking guys go to bars in Bangkok. And frankly, I think they would rather be there than hanging out with a bitter and twisted farang woman.

Why don't we see more Asians opening up gogo bars? I dunno the answer to that one, but I did know a Singaporean who owned several bars in the ill fated Clinton Plaza. And while most managers of gogo bars might well be farang, let's not forget who owns the properties. Thais.

Barbiere writes: "In over twenty visits to Thailand, I've never come across a Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Singaporean, or Malaysian man, married to, or wanting to marry, a Thai lady. The reason is not because these nationalities consider Thai women unattractive, but because they don’t find Thai ladies of equivalent intellectual and economic standards in beer / gogo bars, massage parlours, or foreigner frequented discos. Unleash a corpulent, balding, farang in Thailand and he immediately discovers the ‘love of his life ‘at the nearest gogo bar; this is triggered by a girl snuggling onto his lap and addressing him ‘hansum man’ , thus initiating another epic love drama. It never crosses this pathetic farang’s mind that if he was so ‘hansum’, girls in countries other than Thailand and the Philippines would appreciate him. Amazingly, after a few months in Thailand, such individuals actually start believing that they are irresistible to Thai women.

This is so damn wrong that it’s laughable. Thais marry into all sorts of races. The school my daughter attends has Thai/Chinese kids, Thai/Japanese. Thai/Korean, Thai/Taiwanese, Thai/Singaporean plus the whole gamut of Thai/farang relationships. One of the great things about Thais is their willingness to marry into other cultures. Twenty visits to Thailand? Yeah, probably to the Khao San Road or Phuket or Phi Phi. I doubt that Barbiere has any real Thai friends.

It's also worth pointing out that these days the 'farang' gogo bars are actually filling up with Japanese, Korean and Chinese men. The one thing I would agree with is that only a fool would go into a gogo bar in search of the love of his life. But it's a big step from there to brand anyone who steps inside a gogo bar as a fool.

Perhaps the most offensive thing in Barbiere's whole tirade is the remark that Asian men don’t find Thai ladies of equivalent intellectual and economic standards in foreigner frequented discos. How patronising is that? And how damn wrong. What a pity that everybody can't be as smart and affluent as Barbiere, huh? Racist nonesense.

Barbiere writes: "An equally bewildering corollary is this individual’s antagonism towards Western women – merely because they categorize him realistically."

Wrong, wrong, wrong. We don't care what farang women think about us. Really, we don't. Certainly I don't. I'm antagonistic only towards bitter and twisted farang women who take it upon themselves to tell others how to live their lives. Actually, I'm not really antagonistic. I just smile and walk away.

Barbiere writes: "The beer / gogo bar girl’s apparent fondness for farangs exists in only two countries: Thailand and the Philippines; the reason being that bar girls in these countries regard farangs as their milk cow and / or ticket to a better life in Farangland… I do believe that such fondness arises because of a bar girls’ canny knowledge of the typical gogo / girlie bar, farang habitu?, who they consider to be a peculiarly stupid and gullible creature – happily believing in any preposterous exaggeration relevant to his attractiveness, or to his ‘having good heart’. A beer / gogo bar girl’s existence depends on her attractiveness and (more importantly) her ability to manipulate her clients, what better way of hoodwinking an overweight, geriatric individual, than to describe him as the man of her dreams? It is the girl who I applaud."

Again, so wrong as to be laughable. In my experience, farang women care just as much about money. Maybe even more so. Explain why so many pretty models marry ugly businessmen back in the UK. Because they are ‘good hearted’? No, because they are good providers. From my experience, women the world over like men who are wealthier than they are. It's genetic. They seek out good providers, men who will take care of them and their children. However I would say, from experience, that it's the farang woman who is far more mercenary when a relationship goes wrong. Farang women go straight to a lawyer and fight for half of everything the guy has. Thai women, generally, will just walk away with the clothes on their back.

Barbiere writes: "I've read tale after tale in your reader submissions, about the duplicity and unworthiness of Thai bar ladies. Do any such bereaved Romeos ever put themselves in a bar girl’s shoes? Having to put up with the typical farang’s “attractiveness” is difficult enough, how can any girl be sure that her ‘beloved’ farang won’t dump her for a girl in the next bar? Is it really wrong for a girl to take out insurance and have many strings to her bow? "

Yeah, and I've read tale after tale about hard working guys been taken to the cleaners by bitter and vindictive farang ex wives. Let the buyer beware. That goes for farang brides and Thai brides.

Barbiere writes: "I personally applaud Thailand’s intention of eliminating sex shows, gogo / speciality bars and people participating in such activities. Not only Thailand, but any self respecting country in the world will be better off without the ‘tourists’ who participate in such ‘entertainment’."

I couldn't agree more. And if Barbiere had left the posting at that I wouldn't have bothered writing this. Yes, the sex tourists should be sent home. Yes, it's sad that people (male and female) want to watch sex shows, but let's not just lash out at the humble farang male, who, like guys the world over, sees nothing wrong in going out, having a few beers with his mates, and ogling a few pretty girls.

Barbiere, get a life.

Stickman says:

Yeah, that that Barbiere.

nana plaza