Readers' Submissions

Observations

  • Written by Upena
  • August 15th, 2003
  • 5 min read




Let me preface this by saying that I am a long-time visitor to LOS (about 20 trips in 30 years). My last visit was in 2001 (along with ’97 twice, ’99 twice, ’00 thrice). These are one man’s observations from a two year absence after being in BKK and Pattaya the past 30 days: – some can be attributed to latest problems with SARS, Iraq war, economy etc. and some I haven’t figured out. Some things remain the same and some have changed.

1. Seeing more and more taller girls – and yes they are girls.

2. Low cut jeans and high cut thongs make for an interesting combination.

3. Fewer girls using inhalers – at first I thought they were outlawed as I hadn’t seen anyone using one or the street urchins selling them for over 2 weeks.

4. Very few girls working the beer bars in Pattaya compared to before. Lot less talent.

5. A go-go’s were jam packed with cute girls – from open til close. Not like before where at midnight there would be 4 or 5 leftovers remaining. Seemed that the go-gos had customers – but no one was taking out the girls – except me – which wound up causing me to exceed my budget enormously. This was true for Pattaya and Bangkok.

6. Most of my one-nighter’s wanted to stay longer (even skipping work for 2 days).

7. Thai economic logic still befuddles me – A vendor hasn’t made a sale all day and when a Thai-speaking farang shows up he tries to gouge him at triple the going rate for T-shirts – result – no sale.

8. Being served a Singha in a coffee cup at a hotel pool bar on the 5th floor so that the Police cannot see beer being served on the Queen’s Birthday. Forget that earlier I was on Soi 7 drinking at a restaurant in full view of the entire world.

9. There are almost as many footie massage places as beer bars in Pattaya.

10. I still haven’t found that 1 foot square flat section of sidewalk in Thailand.

11. If there is a one foot wide pathway (sidewalk, alleyway, street, etc) it will be blocked by someone standing in the way.

12. Thais do not know how to walk. They either move from side to side or stop without signalling. There is no purposeful walking.

13. More and more aliens working in the bars…my definition of aliens – the bleached blondes or redheads.

14. Tattoos and bejewelled belly-buttons are everywhere.

15. Cell-phones are in almost every girls Levis back pocket or in their go-go boots.

16. Sending text messages or playing games on one’s cell phone are great ways to pass time before your next dance shift.

17. Coitus Interruptus because of cell phones is most irritating.

18. Cell phones in movie theatres are extremely annoying – yet the Thais seem to think it normal to carry on a loud conversation while everyone else is trying to watch a movie.

19. That first whiff of Bangkok when exiting the plane tells me I am home again.

20. New Orleans Caf? in Pattaya still has the best BBQ ribs in town.

21. Thai women are still the most beautiful, caring, loving girls in the world.

22. Being sick in Thailand and having one of the bar girls take care of you really shows the kind of Jai Dee these girls have. I couldn’t keep anything in for two days, tried some lomitil, and still wasn’t functioning properly. Told the girl I was with that I was Mai Sabai – gave her the symptoms and she dashed off to get me some Kow Tom (rice soup), antibiotics, upset stomach/fever medication and some electrolyte solution. She was a nurse with her patient and ensured I took my medication at the prescribed times, checked my forehead for fever and did whatever she could to nurse me back to normalcy. A day and a half later I was back in good health.

23. One thing that kind of ticked me off was being charged a “Lady Drink” price for a glass of Nam Som (orange drink) for my girl when the girl didn’t work at that bar. I had quite a few occasions of Bar-Fining a girl from Bar “A” and then going out drinking with her at bar “B” (and “C” and “D”, etc’). Some bars charged a normal price and others charged as if she worked at that bar. I didn’t make a fuss about it – just didn’t think it was right. Maybe I should have had her ask for her Lady Drink commissions!

24. Finding a diamond in the rough is always a pleasant experience. My definition of this is bar-hopping the beer bars looking for that cutie that satisfies your every need. Some nights, after a long, exhaustive search finding that special girl is especially satisfying. Not finding one can be costly as one winds up back at the go-gos spending more than budgeted.

25. Service girls can be as much fun or more fun than the go-go girls.

26. Speaking Thai is still a positive advantage for a farang. It makes the vacation so much more fun. I always enjoy surprising the girls with my limited language skills (I tell them I speak Thai “nit-noi” but they insist I speak “mahk-mahk”) and they appreciate it very much. Not having them know I understand what they are saying can be extremely fun.

27. Uniformed office girls are extremely sexy – I hope that Thailand maintains this standard of dress.

28. Software/DVD/MP3/VCD piracy crackdown is non-existent.

29. Krathingdang (Red Bull) is still the best “morning-after” drink – along with lots of water.

30. Being honest and respectful, treating the women as women, and smiling still go a loooong way in Thailand.

Stickman says:

Nice observations.