Readers' Submissions

Why Do They Do It?

  • Written by Don
  • July 26th, 2003
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok



Why do the Bar Girls do it? Why, when the BG wins the lottery and hits the jackpot (hooks a rich BF or husband), does she risk all and play around behind his back? What evil demon possess these sweet little things to make them so cunningly deceitful?

I’m sure that every man reading this submission who has been to the Kingdom will have experienced watching a BG arm in arm with her man (client / BF / husband / whatever) and in amazement, watching her watching you. As soon as the BG thinks her partner is not watching her, her eyes are off wandering and making unspoken suggestions to any other Falang in sight. She has no sooner finished telling her rich generous benefactor just how much she loves him, than her eyes are off scouting the market for potential fresh targets and seducing them with her gaze.

It does not stop there. How many times have you sat down in a bar somewhere and a BG comes over to strike up a conversation. After you tell her you don’t want to play connect 4 but you will buy her a drink for a little bit of her company (because she looks quite rootable), the first thing she can’t wait to tell you about is her falang boyfriend back home in some other country on the other side of the world. She is so proud to tell you how much money this poor mug sends her every month and delights in the opportunity to show off the 3 baht gold chain he bought her for her birthday. What she doesn’t tell you about is the deal she made with her boyfriend not to work in bars anymore or go with any other men. She is supposed to go home and stay with the family back in some no name hick rural village in Isaan. But instead she is in the bar chatting up guys like you behind her boyfriends back.

Or worst of all, you marry the BG but after 2 years you find out that she has been maintaining her relationship with her old Thai sweetheart back home. Or perhaps she hasn't been going to that receptionist job every weekday like she is supposed to, she has been liaising with a couple of falang boyfriends on the side and getting up to all sorts of trouble. And she hasn't even been using condoms either.

So back to my original question: When they are on a good wicket, why do they do it? Why do the BGs risk everything to play around?

I must admit they certainly are mischievous little creatures. There is nothing in Farangland that could possibly prepare you for their charms and their wicked ways. Just what goes on in their scheming minds will probably always be a mystery to us Farangs. We can only take wild guesses as to how their conniving brains actually function.

My wild guess, for what it’s worth, is that it all boils down to power. Don’t let their soft demure, submissive exterior fool you for a second, it is a battle of wits as to who has the upper hand in any relationship with these BGs. We assume from our sophisticated Western background that we will be superior to the poorly educated Isaan girls, but their Thai upbringing has prepared them well for any social interaction with us farangs.

BGs love Thailand and they love Thai culture. They are desperately trying to escape Thai poverty but they are not for a second trying to escape Thai culture. They submit to Westerners but they do not want to submit to Western culture. I believe the reason many BGs work hard to win the lottery and then risk all is that they are wild at heart and they do not want to submit to any man, especially not a Western man.

They can sell their body for a price because it is a means to an end. They are looking for happiness and they think they can find it in a Farang's wallet. But they can’t sell their soul. They stay wild and free, they cannot be kept and tamed. They will only ever be answerable to their family but never to a Westerner.

Added to this the BGs are very self destructive in nature. They just can’t help but do the wrong thing. I quite admire their pathologically deceitful and destructive nature. It really is quite bizarre behaviour to watch a BG set herself a lifelong goal of acquiring a rich, trustworthy, loyal Falang husband to rescue her and take her out of her deprived existence. Once she achieves her goal, she finds that she is no happier than when she was living in Isaan with her Thai boyfriend. Escaping her poverty has not brought her the miracle of eternal happiness that she thought it would, in actual fact wealth has made her more lonely. But she cannot look forward to improving her life with her chosen falang mate, she can only look back to what she knows – her corrupt, devious, evil ways. She begins to play the game again. If she gets caught she will loose everything she worked so hard to achieve but she just can’t help herself. She probably doesn’t even know why she is doing it, but she can’t break the vicious cycle.

Maybe there are a few honest, trustworthy, hard working, decent ones out there. If you find one could you email me her mobile number?

Stickman says:

Some great points here. I love the sentence "They will only ever be answerable to their family but never to a Westerner." Oh my God, you have hit the nail on the head here. Thai women can behave absolutely dreadfully in relationships, out of sight of their family, but if you do build up a rapport with the family and then make them aware of what she is up to, she can get seriously screwed up. Being seen by the family – and those close to, but outside the family – as a bad wife can really mess with Thai women's minds, pride and face.