It’s Just A Matter Of Time
The submission titled "The Bargirl Experiment" prompted me to share the following tale.
One evening 2 or 3 weeks ago I was out and about, on my own, among the bars of Pattaya. I did not intend to take home a bargirl that night.
I sat down at one bar and began playing the Connect 4 game with one of the girls. After a short while I noticed a girl from a neighbouring bar. She was standing on the road verge, enticing customers to sit at "her" bar.
During the time I was observing her, she managed to convince 3 separate customers to sit at "her" bar. Each time, she escorted the customer to the bar and then returned to the road verge.
I suggest that 9 out of 10 men would consider this particular girl as a "stunner" – she was truly beautiful.
I have lived in Thailand for 5 years and I am somewhat resistant to, unaffected by, the beauty of many of the bargirls. I still enjoy seeing beautiful Thai women, but these days when I select a "poo-ying de jour" my choice is based on an equal combination of physical appearance and demeanour.
In any event there was something about this girl that attracted me so I finished up my drink and went to her.
I will explain at this point that I can speak Thai fairly well and the ensuing conversation with the girl was in Thai language only.
Upon approaching her, I saw a wedding ring on her left hand and so I began the conversation by asking her what country her husband was from – Japan.
She invited me to sit at "her" bar and I said I would, but only if she sat with me, and she agreed. We sat together and talked for 45 minutes through to 2:15 am when the cashier approached me and asked me to settle my bill.
She was 20 years old and hailed from Korat. She first came to Pattaya 3 months previously. She had not been a virgin but had never been married and did not have any children.
She had worked at the bar for two weeks when she went with her first customer – the Japanese man she later married. She was initially reluctant to go with him but her friends at the bar negotiated, on her behalf, a rate of 2,000 baht per day, so off she went.
On their second day together the man asked her to marry him. They married in Korat on day 5. He gave her parents 500,000 baht plus 3 baht of gold for her mother and a watch for her father. He gave her 3 baht of gold also. He he now sends her 30,000 baht per month.
He stayed in Thailand for 12 days only, and is due to return in September 2003. He does not want her to immigrate to Japan but decreed that she must stay with her family in Korat until his return.
She was bored living Korat and so she returned to Pattaya for 5 days to visit her friends. I met her on day 2 of her return visit.
When the cashier approached me to settle my bill, I asked the girl to go with me and she replied that she couldn't because she was married. I then asked the cashier to leave us alone for 5 minutes.
I told the girl that I liked her very much and that I wanted to spend some time with her. I told her that she did not have to have sex with me, that I just wanted to sleep close to her (sounds corny in English but it's meaningful when spoken in Thai). She agreed to go with me.
I will digress at this stage and explain that I have spoken these words to many, non bargirl, Thai women and of the women who agreed to go with me all, without exception, engaged in sex.
If you understand Thai "face" and Thai "sweet talk" then you will appreciate why such a corny approach works. Thai women do not want to be seen to be "easy", which would cause loss of face, and they also want to be wooed, even if the wooing is simply a 30 minute shower of banal compliments.
In any event, I called the cashier over and, at the same time, a group of girls who worked at the bar began to depart. "My girl" asked the others where they were going and they replied that they were heading to a well-known discotheque. One of the group asked "my girl" to go along.
She looked and me and said it would be better if she went with her friends but she would go with me at the next opportunity.
I went back to the bar the following week and was told by her "friends" that she had returned to Korat.
She didn't go with me so what's the point of this submission?
This girl had been in the bar scene for a comparatively minimal period of time and she had hit the jackpot. She met a man willing to marry her, give her parents 500,000 baht and send her 30,000 baht per month.
Two months later she was bored, returned to the bar scene and agreed to go with a man she had known for only 45 minutes. If it were not for the last minute interference by her friends she would have gone with me and we would have had sex.
I think most bargirls – most but not all – are akin to persons with other habit forming vices; compulsive gamblers, petty thieves, alcoholics, etc.
For many, it's not a question of whether they will regress, but a question of when.
As to the subject girl, I have marked my calendar for 2 months hence to remind myself to revisit the bar – she'll be back again!
Oh, I could not agree more. She must have been something else!