Readers' Submissions

It’s All About Pattaya

  • Written by Stick
  • May 21st, 2003
  • 6 min read


Anonymous Submission



I'm now a 24 year old boy from a European country planning for my future. Why the fuck am I doing that for!? Its all about Pattaya anyway!

I first visited Pattaya when I was 20 years old and stayed for 2 months. Before Thailand I had been living an a couple off different western countries and travelled quite a bit but that didn't matter. I would never in my dreams have thought such a place existed on the earth. It felt like I spent 20 years looking for the meaning of life and now I finally found it. I didn't miss out on Marine Disco one single night during 2 whole months. I remember one time I arrived sober cos I felt like a raped dog due to all the beers I've been drinking, but some guy there gave me some drugs which I snorted right on the table and yeah, the night was on again, on to Boom the Arab place, Hollywood and at 7:00 AM home. I can't remember it all. Needless to say I came back several times. I've never even bothered to try Phuket since everyone said it was crap anyways.

One girl a night became 2 girls a night etc. I even considered to take pup steroid using which I've been on heavy since I've been 16 year old. But I didn't bother working out, in Pattaya its all about money anyway. I especially like the sign in Pattaya that says "In Buddha we trust, but in cash we pay". That sure is TIP. In the movie Matrix, in the end when all people are made by little numbers because they are all part of a computer program, that's Pattaya but they are made of money instead. That sure is beautiful.

The Thais don't need any religion, or any beliefs, they have their love for money. According to Thai logic, since Buddha is the highest one on the ladder he must also be the richest, or?

While some farangs have more money then Thais even though the Thais are higher on the ladder this must simply be due to some blunder by Buddha, or? I don't need a church or temple either, I have Pattaya, Pattaya is God. I felt an urge to assure me that Pattaya was the only sweet hell on earth so I tried Rio in brazil. and a lot of other naughty places including the Philippines. They were all good, but Pattaya is best, simply best.

I'm fucked for life, I will never be like a normal European man. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like had I not gone to Thailand. Probably different. I some times did fall in love with some of the girls, but I never had any heroic plans or rescue things going on. That stuff is for newbies. All that is needed is beer, pussy and hardcore techno. I always knew they were only trying to to cheat me, u can see it in their eyes, they are dead inside and they know it too. Some of these newbie bar girls can fall genuine in love, but they soon become cold to when they been betrayed enough. Thailand is the only place on earth where you feel dead and alive at the same time, you simply don't care anymore and that is a real rush. I really don't care if I die, as long as I die in Pattaya.

It seems like every time I go to Pattaya I get shocked again, even though I prepare myself. These girls have no plans for the future other than sitting I a pink hotel room smoking yaba and playing cards with each other. Sometimes they sneak outside to find a dick to suck so they can buy food and yaba and watch MTV. Well I guess they too must love the place. Ehh…

Thailand is great and it will always be great. Closing down a few gogo bars won't change a thing. Nothing ever really changes. They say that the Philippines changed in 1986 in Ermita, yeah they closed down that Srmita Street and all but opened up in Macati and some other blocks, can't remember. And Angeles has been around forever and they still got like 60 gogo bars. Thank God for inventing corruption! The reason why it's slower in Philippines now is cos its expensive and the ladies are a bit more complicated, and remember, the Philippines is not Asia, they don't think Thai or Asian, they think and act like South Americans, they are just a little bit poorer than the South Americans. They are so overcolonized that they even are Christians ffs.

Thailand is here to stay, SARS is only a good thing cos it scares the fucking families and farang women away. The true hardcore sex tourist doesn't care about SARS or anything since he could get shot or stabbed by a stoned hooker any time.

Terrorists won't blow up anything I care about in Thailand cos at all gogo bars and discos I go there are also Thai people. Why blow up a disco with 200 farangs when you can blow one pub with 400 right?

Discos only populated by farangs would be those places on Kao Sarn Road, but I hope they blow up all of that road anyway.

And since all western men who fuck Thai prostitutes are considered to be scum of the earth by western society, the Muslim terrorists would not blow them up cos then they would be doing the western society a favour. And they sure as hell don't want that. LOL.

Oh and this casino thing. Hahaha then Pattaya is gonna be the gangster capital of the world. You got the Chinese, Thais, Germans and Russians killing each other there for farangs now, imagine what will happen if they start building casinos there.

I'm glad I'm still so young, but I constantly curse myself for not being born earlier so that I could have gone to Pattaya earlier. I sure must have missed out on some good nights there. Everyone keeps saying it was better before, but I know that then it was also smaller. So in my eyes its just keeping on getting bigger, more hardcore and rougher, which I like!

So of course I'm coming back, its just that I'm not so young anymore so I will probably need to take a day of drinking sometimes when I'm there to rest up and I hate that.
And by the way, I also believe I was a Thai in my previous life. LOL!

I am also curios where I place in the "hall of most fucked up persons because of Pattaya"?

Stickman says:

You're number one, mate. You win the prize. I don't know that I have ever read a submission like this before. Tones of Dr. Joker…