Quit Beating The Horse, It’s Dead
Don’t marry a bargirl. They will destroy your lives and leave you in the poor house. They are manipulative and scheming black-hearted bitch vixens. Stickman’s website reader submissions has beat that horse to death ad naseaum.
Consider my submission as a contrary point of view. In 1995 I met and married an 18-year-old bargirl. Her name is Sunee. My life has been changed for the better with her in the picture. In 1995 I had just turned 30 and was on the rebound from a painful divorce. Off to Pattaya a young man instructed my Mentor. Have fun. So off I went into the Big Mango to repair my shattered ego and stoke my libido.
I checked into my hotel and went down to the beach to toast the winter out of my bones. Within 15 minutes of my oiling up a cute chick came and sat down beside me and asked in sing-song English if I needed to have suntan oil rubbed on my back. “Yes” was the only answer I was capable of. This girl was better looking than my ultimate fantasy girl.
She said her name was Sunee and asked if I wanted some company. I rubbed suntan oil on her body. What a perfect body, not fat, fit, nice breasts and long, long black hair. We chatted for a few hours and then I told her I had to go up to my room and shower and get some sleep. Jet lag had wiped me out and I needed to crash for a while to get my energy back. She asked if I wanted her to come to the room also. “Yes, come on up with me”.
We picked our stuff up and headed to the hotel room. I was nervous as hell. Who was this chick? I had just met her and now she was coming up to my room. Most certainly a prostitute, “Oh shit what if she is a Katoey?” I thought. I glanced down and did not see a bulge in the throat or groin.
We showered and made love for an hour before I conked out. When I woke up it was 9:00 pm. She was sitting in the nude on the couch watching some Thai program on the boob tube. God she looked beautiful. Her smile was something I just had to have more of. I got up and showered. When I came out she pushed me down on the bed and we made love again. Afterwards we lay entwined in each other. My stomach began to growl. She giggled at this and patted my belly and said, “You hungry, we eat now”. We got dressed and went out into the hot and sticky night to a small restaurant. My first experience with real Thai food was an eye opener. She ordered a number of dishes and we chowed down. She was not the typical female salad muncher; she ate with gusto and purpose. I don’t drink alcohol so I drank a few Pepsis. She does not drink either; Fanta was her choice. Her English was better than most, even better than the hotel clerks. We talked and ate until 1:30 am. We went back to my hotel room and made love until we both fell asleep.
Morning came and I had the strange feeling of being someplace else, not my bedroom. When I began to wake up I noticed she was gone. What was going on? Wasn’t I supposed to pay her? Oh Shit! I jumped up and stumbled over to my pants and looked in my wallet. Everything was there, no money missing ”Dodged a big ass bullet that time dummy, next time hide the wallet” I thought. Into the shower and onto the rest of the day. Sunee left a note on the bathroom counter. She left her phone number and asked me to meet her at her apartment at 8:00 pm that evening. Hmm, Nah. Forget it. I did not want to get involved any more than I had already.
The pool beckoned so I went swimming for a time and then had breakfast. Better stick with Thai food, the breakfast was over cooked and barely passable as food. The day passed from morning to afternoon so I walked around a while and found an open-air beer bar. I saw some cute girls sitting by the entrance and they waved at me. I went over and talked with them for a while. They seemed kind of loud, I picked one of the more quiet ones and we went into the beer court. She was not as cute as Sunee but she was quite good looking. I drank my usual Pepsi and she drank quite a few Jack Daniels and Ginger ales. After about an hour and a number of games of checkers I asked her if she wanted to come up to my hotel room. Before I could even get an answer she stood up and grabbed my hand and smiled! I paid the tab and away we went. On the way to the room she said “Short time 500 Baht”. At least she was direct and to the point.
We made love for an hour and a half. She was clumsy and not very active, she tended to lie on her back and smile at me. I had the feeling she was not real experienced at lovemaking. She was shown a couple different positions. Her interest was piqued and she finally was actively involved. Afterwards she got up immediately and showered. I handed her money after she dressed and she kissed me half-heartedly and asked me to come get her tonight at the beer bar after midnight. She said she was going home to take care of her younger brother until her mom got home from her hotel job. I smiled and said I would and then she left. She’s off for more short time action I thought. Forget her. Not worth the money. Below average lover. Kind of dim.
Afternoon slowly drifted into evening. I lounged in the sun baking the remnants of winter out of my body. I was finally getting some color back. Off to the hotel room for a snooze before some night-time fun. I awoke with a start and my mind was telling me that I had forgot something. The time was 7:30 PM. What had I forgotten? I got up and showered and changed. When I cleaned out my pockets I found the note from Sunee. My mind raced “Should I? What am I getting myself into? I like this chick. But what does she really want?” I went down to the lobby, left the hotel and got into a cab. I gave the driver the note and he read the address in Thai below Sunee’s phone number. I arrived at Sunee apartment building. Dark, kind of slummy looking. Up the stairs and to the third floor. I found her apartment and she opened the door and immediately gave me a big hug and kiss. She said she was not sure if I would show up. She was cooking dinner for me!
There was a young girl watching television. She turned and smiled a toothy grin. Sunee introduced me to her roommate’s daughter, five or six I thought. I watched some Thai cartoons with the young girl until dinner was ready. The young girl was fascinated with me, she was using English and communicating quite well, I was surprised at her spoken English ability. She asked me where I was from. I replied “Salt lake City, Utah”. She pronounced the phrase a few time until she got it correct and then smiled, she sprang from the couch and went over to a bookshelf and hauled out a world atlas. She paged through the atlas until she found Utah and then she looked for a while until she located Salt Lake City. I was very impressed, she could read a damn world atlas at five or six years old, this kid must be quite gifted! A big toothy grin again. “You from here?” she pointed at Salt Lake. “Yes, I am from Salt lake City”. “Have girls like me?”. “Yes, many girls like you”. “Boys have penises”. I began to laugh, she laughed and was showing a wry grin. I answered, “Yes, boys have penises”. I could see her smile getting more sinister. She was feeling like a naughty girl and was enjoying it. “Boys have penises, girls have penises?” I knew she was setting me up and getting a naughty little girl thrill. I played along, “no, girls have vaginas and breasts”. She scrunched up on the couch and was grinning from ear to ear. She blurted out “Sunee has a vagina and tits” and then began to giggle and hid her eyes from me with her hands. I smiled at her and began to laugh. I looked up and saw Sunee peering around the corner, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was biting the heel of her hand to stop herself from laughing. She smiled at me and went into the bedroom. I heard a big burst of laughter; Sunee came out wiping a tear from her eye with a huge smile. The young girl smiled the same sinister little bad girl smile at me and asked if I had a penis. When I answered, “Yes” she burst into giggles and looked at Sunee. Sunee began to laugh and she tickled the young girl in the ribs and said that dinner was ready.
Dinner was marvelous, quite tasty. At the end of the dinner I saw my moment, the young girl was taking a big drink of soda pop, I said “Big Penises” rather loudly, the young girl burst into immediate laughter and didn’t think to swallow. Soda pop ran down her chin and throat. Sunee burst into laughter. The young girl scowled at me, so I stuck my tongue out at her. We all laughed for a while. Dinner ended and I was wondering what was going to happen next. “What the hell was going on? Why am I here instead of shagging a bargirl?” I thought as I sat in a chair in the living room. Sunee was the reason.
Sunee’s roommate came home about half an hour after dinner. She was chubby but a pretty girl. She didn’t speak English very well so Sunee introduced us. I asked where her daughter learned English. The translation was that her Dutch father paid for his daughter to go to a special school for gifted students and that he was going to bring both of them to Holland in a few months. Sunee and I left and went down to the beach and talked for hours. I was becoming enchanted by this woman. I did not want to get involved but could not help myself. Sunee was the girl of my dreams and was a prostitute even though she had not asked me for money. We went back to my hotel room and made love for the remainder of the night. Sunee said she was a bargirl in Bangkok for three years; she started when she was fifteen. She left Bangkok after one of her customers tied her up and beat her with a riding crop. She would take the occasional customer in Pattaya to help pay her rent and supplement her office-cleaning job’s salary.
Sunee had a sister, Mali, and her mother as her only living relatives. Mali was a bargirl in Bangkok. She would get sales jobs but lose them due to her poor attitude and lax sales skills. Sunee’s mother was the owner of a small laundry business in Bangkok and was in ill health most of the time.
Despite my brain telling me to get out of the situation, I ended up staying with Sunee my entire month long vacation. What had I done? Bounced from a divorce right into the arms of a prostitute! At the end of the month I gave Sunee 11,000 Baht, all the money I had left over. The night before I left Sunee was in tears, so was I. Something had happened. Love had found us both and was flowing in both our hearts. I tried to console myself that I would soon be back home and able to relegate the vacation to the past. Sunee did not want to see me off because she said it would be too hard to see me leave. She wrote down her information, like a complete fool I did the same and gave it to her.
The flight back to Farangland was very lonely and long. I felt like shit. What had I done? Monday morning arrived too fast. Back to work and the endless grind, traffic, snow, sad pale people. Wednesday arrived quickly. I came home and checked my email. Sunee had sent an email! My heart pounded, I opened the email and immediately laughed. She had written “Big Penises!” in huge bold type. The rest of the email was a love letter. She said she was completely in love with me and was very depressed that I had had to leave. Somehow I knew she was telling the truth. I could feel the emotions through the email. Don’t trust a bargirl, they will screw you and take your money” kept echoing through my mind.
I confided my feelings about Sunee to a very close friend. He thought I was completely insane to have a relationship with a Thai prostitute. “Think with your other brain” was mentioned several times during the chat. Friday finally arrived, God was I happy. The work week really sucked. I called Sunee at the apartment at 8:00 BKK time. She answered and was overjoyed I had called. She was crying tears of joy. We spoke for 20 minutes. Apple (the young girl) wanted to talk to me. She asked me when I was coming back because Sunee was sad and crying all the time. Aww, Jesus Christ, what the hell had I done! I was starting to feel guilty.
Apple talked for a while. I asked Apple to not laugh at what I was about to say, she promised she would not laugh. I told Apple to look at Sunee and say “Big Penises” real loud. I heard Apple yell out the phrase and then I heard Sunee burst into laughter. I asked Apple if Sunee was happy now, she said yes, Sunee was laughing and crying at the same time. I told Sunee that I had to end the call because it was costing me a small fortune on long distance charges. Sunee asked me when I was coming back to her, I replied, “as soon as I can, three months”. She told me she was not seeing anyone else and would not because she loved me and wanted us to be together. The cardinal sin was then committed, I told Sunee I loved her and could not stand being apart. I hung the phone up and began to hate myself. Oh No! Shit! What am I doing! My sanity must still be out there with my lost luggage!
Sunee would call me at work; I would call her at home. Only twice a week because of long distance charges. Countless emails were sent back and forth. The weeks rolled by quickly. Two months after I got back from vacation, my company went tits up and closed. All the employees got severance packages; mine was a year of pay with benefits since I had devoted my entire career even before college to the company. That very same night I booked a flight to Thailand for the next morning. I arrived at 9:00 PM the next day and went directly to Sunee’s apartment. I knocked on the door and Sunee’s roommate answered, she was amazed I had come back to see Sunee. She rattled off a burst of Thai and pulled me, luggage and all into the apartment. Apple came out of the bedroom and squealed with joy and ran at me and jumped into my arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck and would not let go even though her mother was trying to pull her off. The little dynamo translated for her mom. Sunee was cleaning some offices and would be back at Midnight. Home, I was home. It felt right.
Apple sat in my lap on the couch and translated the conversations. I found out she was six and half years old, damn she was one smart girl, good in mathematics, English, reading, geography. I later found out she was tested out at a 173 I.Q! Just totally amazing! Apple kept talking to me, asking questions, she kept it up and eventually fell asleep in mid sentence. I put her to bed with Mom’s permission.
Sunee came home at 1:00 am. She came around the kitchen corner and saw me. Her expression is something I will always remember and treasure. She stood still with her mouth open, tears streaming down her face, eyes huge. She started to tremble, totally silent. I went over and hugged her, she gasped for air, she had forgot to breathe! She let out a deep sigh and began to sob. She held me so tight I thought my ribs would be cracked. Apple’s mom stood there quietly crying with a smile on her face. Sunee was speechless for a while; I kissed her deeply and whispered the code word “Big Penises” in her ear. She began to laugh. Sunee had a rough personal time after I left her. Her Mom died a month prior to my return. Sunee did not want to tell me because she thought I would come over for the funeral and place my job in jeopardy. I told Sunee about my job situation and that I had more than enough money for a year.
Sunee smiled at me and said “Bed time, Honey”. We went into her bedroom and closed the door. Before the door had even latched she grabbed my shirt and ripped it open. I had the strange feeling of being a rabbit in a small cage with a hungry tiger. Lovemaking that night was intense and incredible. She would not relent; she wanted me in the worst possible way. She even used some interesting pressure point techniques no doubt learned in her previous profession.
We toured the country for a month, what a beautiful country Thailand is; the variety of plants and animals is incredible. So lush and green. I had to renew my tourist visa, so I crossed over into Cambodia, turned around and came right back. 30 minutes tops. Later that month I met Mali. She was not in good shape: her eyes had deep dark circles, she was skinny and on Meth. Sunee and I took Mali to our hotel room. She was still in deep mourning for her mother and was using dope to kill her pain. Sunee was very concerned with her sister; we brought her with us back to her apartment in Pattaya. Mali moped around the apartment and cried a lot. She wanted me to loan her money, which would no doubt be spent on Meth. I would not and insisted she go to the hospital and get checked out.
Mali is an obstinate Thai girl. Sunee and I had to trick her into going to the hospital. Mali was checked top to bottom. She had an acute intestinal infection and Gonorrhoea. The hospital admitted her for treatment. Sunee and Apple’s Mom took shifts taking care of Mali. She was really sick, the intestinal infection was severe and might require surgery. I took care of Apple, she loved being picked up at school by “Her Special Farang”, even the kids need to show face. I tended to spoil her rotten. She is a gem of a girl. Her spoken English improved quite rapidly over a two-week period with me. Homework was part of my duty with Apple; she was taking Introductory Algebra at six years old! We had a lot of fun, we planned out where we were going to go after school, I made her calculate the distances from a map in Kilometers, meters, centimeters, and millimeters. She learned scientific notation from me, which was a great source of pride for her, she showed off her new talent in school. Her teachers met me and asked me to continue to organize fun learning activities for Apple; she needed constant intellectual stimulation. At night I would work on some programming projects I wanted to market. Apple was interested in “The letters that act as numbers” meaning hexadecimal notation. I taught Apple hexadecimal mathematics over a week of evenings. She picked up on it instantly. I felt a bit jealous; it took me two semesters to learn hexadecimal level programming. Apple was already asking about other numeric systems such as base 2 Binary, base 8 Octal and so on. She absorbed it as fast as I could teach. I am in total awe of that little girl’s abilities. Damn Scary, when you think of the raw intellect and powerful mind behind her lopsided toothy grin.
Mali was discharged from the hospital two weeks later. That night I took Sunee out to dinner and proposed. She accepted before I had even completed my well-rehearsed proposal speech. We were married a week later in a small Buddhist ceremony with Mali, Apple, Apple’s mom, and three of Apple’s teachers in attendance. Apple’s father came over and was ready to bring his family back to Holland. He was a short, pink, and pudgy bald man. He is also a college professor of mathematics. I spent some time with him and Apple; she proudly showed off her stuff to Dad, he was a bit amazed at her abilities. If anyone can challenge her intellect, it’s her Dad. They were inseparable as they should be. Apple and her family left the following week, Mali moved in and life commenced a normal pace again. Sunee’s wife visa came in and we left two months later. We set up Mali with an apartment and a good responsible roommate. Mali got a job as a document clerk in the government sector. Sunee wanted me to set up a fund to help pay for Mali’s apartment rent for a year to ensure she was able to get back on her feet.
To wrap this up, I am still married to Sunee, 8 years and counting. We have two beautiful precocious children and our lives are full of love and happiness. Mali got married and divorced twice. I did all the wrong things in a relationship with a bargirl. My heart led my brain(s). Sometimes life has a way of making it work. We have had to put a tremendous amount of energy into our marriage. Don’t be fooled, we were nearly divorced twice, but we managed to get through the problems with love and understanding. Communications is the most important part of a relationship, bargirl or not. Sunee’s job as an office cleaner kept her employment record legitimate. Keep that in mind if you want to bring a bargirl over on a visa. Records are everything to the INS.
Stickman is right. The possibility of having a successful marriage to a bargirl is a complete roll of the dice. Some times you come up six's, some times snake eyes. Do you homework and take a chance if you feel lucky.
Sunee wanted to leave the profession because of her bad experiences. She wanted to have a family because hers had died off and left her caring for a sister who was not quite with it for a long time. Find a bargirl that wants to or has left the profession and check her out six ways to Sunday before you commit to anything. I was completely stupid in my behavior with Sunee, but some great power must favor us love stuck fools. My bargirl relationship and marriage worked out. When I wake up in the morning and look at Sunee, she is just as beautiful as the first day I met her on the beach in Pattaya. Mali definitely got the short end of the stick on aging gracefully. She is overweight and full of wrinkles from lying in the sun every day. She has made quite a bit of money in the “Specialized Tastes” escort service business. She is the owner and Mamasan who caters to the punters with all types of esoteric flavors available. You name it, she has it, can get it, or will do it. Perhaps Bill Clinton should stop by and see her; he could set up an all chubby review for himself and some S&M for Hillary.
It is nice to get some balance, and hear about the relationships that do work.