Stickman Readers' Submissions February 23rd, 2003

A Woman’s Point Of View

By Luk Kreung Ying

Do you deserve a “nice” Thai woman?

He Clinic Bangkok

I want to give you a little background before I launch myself onto my soapbox. I am a half Thai, half American 28-year-old female. I've grown up in five different countries including Thailand, but was raised primarily western. All of my family reside in Thailand, including my American father. I started reading Stickman’s website when I was researching teaching in Thailand, which is what I will be doing when I move there in two months with my farang boyfriend. I think it’s an informative, well-written site. Of course I’m by no means an expert, with only yearly trips to visit my family; which is the reason I am moving there to live permanently. Having said all that, I was browsing the posts from readers and was quite fascinated by the stories of farang men pathetically living in a self-imposed drama with the prostitution scene. I certainly don’t want to dismiss anyone’s personal pain or lump anyone into a particular category but I just felt like I had say something as I didn’t see any postings from women (I haven’t read the whole site yet Stick). I’ll probably have a lot more to say when I've been living in Thailand for an extensive period.

I think you receive that which you seek and which you aspire to be. If you are slithering around brothels looking for cheap sex or someone to stroke your ego, and you fall in love with a prostitute during the process, you got what you deserved. Men say they can’t find the “good” Thai women while they are on holiday. Well, what good woman wants a whoring, drunk loser? If you have so little self-esteem that you are easily suckered into believing you are a prostitute’s saviour and she pines for you since the night you paid her bar fine, you need to take a look at yourself. Maybe you deserve a whore for a wife. In many of the stories posted on the site, the men are also cheating, even the ones claiming to be in love with their teeruk bargirl. There was one in particular that struck me as interesting. He sought out a new bar girl as soon as he and his steady girl had had an argument. If you can’t keep your pants zipped long enough to get through an argument and make up, you have no business crying over a broken relationship.

Relationships are about commitment, love and trust, regardless of what country the woman is from. Relationships take work and you get what you give. Thai bargirls are not the magical solution to having to work at a commitment. Sure, a 20-year-old prostitute might be able to look at a fat, bald man in his fifties and tell him everything he wants to hear for a few weeks; but that doesn’t mean she’ll be licking his feet and fetching his beers and truly loving him for the next 20 years if he’s not kind or honest or whatever she’s looking for. Some men just want to pay for the prostitute rather than make the effort to clean themselves up on the inside (and in some cases on the outside). To the ones that enjoy what they are doing but still kind in their business transaction and not cheating on a wife or girlfriend from back home, good for you. To the ones that make it work with a prostitute, you’re lucky, few, and far between. To the ones that got screwed: “soam nam na.” To the ones that want more and feel like they deserve more, read on.

CBD bangkok

There are lots of wonderful Thai women who want farang husbands. Every time I am there on vacation and women find out I have a farang boyfriend and live in the west, they ask me to help them find a husband. These women aren’t hookers nor are they so very high class that you have to be very rich or handsome either. They are sweet everyday women that work in hair salons, restaurants, stores and travel agencies. When my mother is out with my father, she gets the same pleas from women to help them choose a farang husband. Farangs are more attractive to Thai women for a number of reasons, not just money. In general, farangs are better looking to Thai women as they are taller and larger in stature than Thai men. Farangs ensure the birth of a whiter child which is favoured in Thailand. Farangs are (sometimes) more faithful, kinder and gentler, as well as more focused on a career. People of either sex often seek out that which is a bit different from themselves as well. It might also help that Thai men are notoriously known as lazy cheating drunks. Perhaps because they are not expected to be able to control themselves this is an acceptable trend. Either way, this opens the door for a farang to look like a great catch.

If you’re looking for a nice lady, you might take heed of a few tips. First of all, it’s appalling for anyone to go to Thailand and only see Bangkok and/or Pattaya. These are basically known as whore hangouts. Why not take in some of the culture and go to Phuket or Chiangmai (a most excellent and exciting city). There’s prostitutes in those areas too if you absolutely can’t live without one. Get away from cities made popular for prostitution. If you want to meet someone who is not a prostitute, stop hanging out at bars. Although times are changing, “good” women don’t go to bars, don’t drink and don’t smoke. “Good” women are not prancing around in miniskirts and seven layers of makeup. Even though I am half American, I follow this belief when I am in Thailand so as not to dishonour my family. Thai women are not going to sleep with you easily unless they are prostitutes so don’t be aggressive and frighten them.

Thailand has so much to offer. Go scuba diving, trekking to see villages in the north, elephant trekking or rafting. You can even just walk around and meet people. You can meet women everywhere. Hell, even go have your hair washed in a salon, it'll be the best couple bucks you spend, you lay on a bed and they scrub your head for ages. Sure it’s girly, but there's a lot of women hanging out there too. Thai women are shy but very friendly. They enjoy the “good” farang. Dress neatly, run a comb through your hair once or twice, brush your teeth and smile often. Backpackers and sex tourists are disgusting to Thais and to pretty much everyone but themselves. Believe me, women can overlook your beer gut and comb over if you are genuine and kind, you don’t have to pay someone to pretend to like you. Leave Thailand with exciting stories you wont be ashamed to tell your family when you get home.

Anyway, I feel fortunate to be bringing my own farang boyfriend with me, as it doesn’t seem like there will be many nice ones already there.

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Stickman says:

Very, very nice. For folks who want a nice girlfriend, this lady says it all.

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