Readers' Submissions

The Land Of The Free




Ok, first things first, lets all just slow down and start to put things in their correct places. On my first arrival to the LOS {by the way, no truer name ever given} I was literally bowled over by absolutely everybody's generosity, free thinking attitude (what the fxxx – never seen this myselfStick) and relaxed culture. You see, I'm no new face, it was 2 years ago that I arrived, boarded a bus and went to Lamai.

Two years! I hear you splutter on your morning coffee! Its true, ging ging. I even speak the lingo. Now let's start with what some of things you should all know by now. What it is that makes you feel so damn cool when you arrive in Muang Thai {that's the name for this place}. Is it the cute little giggles you receive from innocent students? Maybe its the vibe of the city, you know? The 24 hour party thing that appeals to anyone under 70. Even so, I bet there's been a few older gents that have propped up a bar until the early hours. What about the food? Tasty or not? Let me tell you if you had of eaten half of the dishes there are you still wouldn't be near to tasting them all and I eat spicy. MAD??? Well, yes I am.

The appeal is endless, but what is not endless is the amount of lonely farangs that are coming off of planes looking for the Thailand that only exists in fairy tales. What I mean to say is that, well, its a totally different ball game once you start to understand why the hell you came here. Now during this letter I'm sure many of you will start to think that I'm just 1 of 1000 men that are totally yai yen {that means splendid mind}. Told you I spoke the language, it just happens to some, its only common that some people adapt better than others, its life, anyway.

The desire of man is peace of mind, and getting the love he deserves. Well lets look at that for: nung nattie {that's Thai for 1 minute}. Peace of mind, hard to get but worth the reward. It can be found here but at a price and believe me I've never paid 1 baht. No not 1 single satang. Girls will break your soul, steal your heart with your own permission, then suck your sorry little life through the mill that is stupidity. Come on, let's not for one little second believe that love can exist outside of the bar girl scene.

Thailand's women are known throughout the world as being deceiving, corrupting, manipulative and altogether cunning. I found love but she's different. She really does love me and that's just pure luck. It will not happen to most of you but give it time, there are women here, and women that you can trust. Start by hanging about discos, check if the girls got money. Normally if she has a phone she's cool. What I mean by cool is that she is part of the upper class scene. If she is up for giving you her number take it. Why not? Now the important part is to show her who's boss! Who's the daddy, the Don Collioni, get my drift. Never and I say never with a capital N, fall in too deep.

Its so often the case that this sweet little Buddhist love bucket has a string of Thai and farang men just waiting for her around the corner. As I say I found love but don't expect to find it too easy. After the initial period of when you arrive I'm sure many of you started to literally despise the way the Thai folk blatantly stare at you from near or from a far. Well when was the last time anyone paid you nearly half as much attention? You see, you're just not used to it and probably never will be. It's not that you are weird, it's just that many of them have {them being the Thais} questions that need answering ,example, why is he working here? How did he get that 17 year old to hold his hand? Can he speak Thai? Why does he not want to live in his own country?

This you may think is bordering on racism. Pull the other one. I mean the country you originally came from most probably taught you to think like that, example, blacks don't like whites in England. Wasn't that just the media's way of keeping everybody in their rightful place? Black repressed America during the time of Martin Luther King was much of the same media control. It basically comes down to their interest and your paranoia. I've taken everything from the staring to the blatant rip offs with a pinch of salt. You see when you actually stop thinking about these minor occurrences then maybe you can start living in this country a little less seriously.

Ok what's my philosophy? Treat those around you like you want to be treated yourself. If you're prone to shagging people up the arse be awfully careful not to let anyone shag you up the arse. If you're keen on haggling a price down or basically tight as a proverbial duck's ass be awfully careful to hold onto your wallet. My last comment. Thai people in generally know who is jai bee {that's Thai for red heart}. Filthy, sex hungry, money grabbing farangs be warned – your visit will be short lived.

I LOVE IT BECAUSE I FEEL IT>>>>>>>>>RED FOX BKK

Stickman says:

How much Singha did you drink before you wrote this? I bet it was quite a few… and if you were actually sober when you wrote….oh dear!