Readers' Submissions

It’s All In The Script, Tom

  • Written by Anonymous
  • October 14th, 2002
  • 2 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By Bangkok Bee


A Tom is a lesbian girl who looks and dresses like a boy, and a Dee is a lesbian girl who likes a Tom. Thailand is loaded with many Tom’s and Dee’s. Most of the waitresses who work at Nana, Soi Cowboy and Patpong are in fact Tom’s, and most of the bar girls are in fact Dee’s. It’s confusing, but this is reality in Thailand and it is somewhat out in the open. However, some Tom’s do not dress or look like a boy for employment reasons. So if you see a girl holding hands with another girl…most likely they are Tom and Dee. When you hire a bar girl, she will most likely talk to her Tom before she leaves the bar, and when she finishes with you she will return to her Tom. The Tom will guide her.

Her Tom will most likely train her on how to milk a farang. The Tom will teach her “The Script”. The script off course is The Cry of Poverty. Let a farang think that you are a helpless shy lady with no future except selling your body. [Somewhat true, but with a lot of emphasis added] Tell them about your poor old mother, father, sister and brother. Tell the farang that you wish you were dead. The more sympathetic the farang, the more likely he will try to rescue you. Tell him that you will take care of him, that you will wash his clothes and straighten his living quarters. The harder you play the script the more money you get… and if you’re lucky…or good with the script…he might even bring you to Farangland.

The Dee will find it very difficult to leave a relationship with a Tom. You know the saying, “Once a Tom always a Tom”. The Tom is her best friend. The Tom understands her inside and out, and they are like bread and butter together. The Tom doesn’t care if his Dee gives sex for a living…its a way for them both to earn money to keep their thing alive.

The bar girls are not only hit on by farangs in a bar. They are first hit on by the Toms. Having a Tom is like protection from other Toms. It’s a vicious cycle. If you ask your bar girl who she lives with, she will most certainly say that she lives with her friend…or her sister. Her friend or sister is of course her Tom. If your bold enough to ask her if she ever had sex with her friend or sister…she might reply, “Sometimes!”.

But it’s the script that counts. If they are not taught the script by their Tom’s, then they are taught by the mamasan’s on just what to do and how to do it. One girl told me that a farang gave her three payments over a four month period of 78,000 baht, 234,000 baht in four months. She bought some land up north and now she's working in the bar looking for a farang who will give her 1,000,000 baht so she can build a house on the land.

It’s just too difficult to leave the bar scene…especially if your young and beautiful. Unless a rich farang whisks you away.

Stickman says:

The Toms and Dees confused me.