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Stickman Readers' Submissions August 31st, 2002

All’s Well That Ends Well

By B

I first arrived in Bangkok after a good 9 hour drink thanks to Qantas, July 98. I'd been to Bali 5 time's surfing so I had a bit of an idea what to expect, or so I thought! I always wanted to travel Thailand for 20 years but I was happily married to a school teacher, (the third sex!), but she moved on to higher grounds.

He Clinic Bangkok

My age then 43 so I catch a taxi with this older guy Aussie also. I sort of knew him as he was from the same area as myself. He'd being going to Thailand for 25 years. He took me straight to Patpong Pavilion Hotel. Quick shower out we go. The place is pumping, it's late. My new friend takes us though the night market upstairs in this 3rd floor, even a lift. There's a small bar with the fish bowl behind full of girls numbered in there swim suits. He says which one do you want? I'm a bit shy. Shit I'm in my first brothel at my age and i said too tired! Bullshit! Too scared! So we retire for the night.

After a couple of days we go into a new bar next to Cosmos. Anyway they're all glamorous! I met Miss Thailand and of we go boom boom baby the one I like! She was beautiful, 2000 baht or about $Aust. 80 but she didn't have hairs on her pussy. They were feathers and the skin was like silk. I know you all have been there too.

I must have done the norm, new bar every day. New girl. It was fun. This is what every man needs once in their life! Kick back to the max. Bangkok, what a fun place! Then one afternoon, this 21 year old that was working in the bar close to where I was staying put on the handsome man line. She was a looker hair down to her bum, thin but she had quite large fun bags. Say no more she had a customer so I bar fined her the next day. I was staying for 3 weeks so shit, there's only 15 days left. Where did time go? I needed to have a look around so my mate and his phooying, me & mine went off to Pattaya for a few days by the sea away from all that pollution. Two stroke motor bikes. why can't they ban them in Bangkok? Too easy!

I was having the time of my life after a bad bad divorce. Now at last I was untouchable and no one was yelling at me or saying I'm too tired for sex. Life was fine. Nothing was a problem! Happy happy! Swimming in this massive pool at the Ambassador City, Jomtien – what a life without a wife!!! Good food, as cheap as if I'm in heaven! After a week we moved back to Bangkok. This time we stayed at the Honey Hotel, same per night 800 baht but we have a swimming pool, better rooms HBO, 24 hour food, hamburgers etc. Sukhumvit Soi 19, this is better Soi Cowboy a short walk, Nana and Thermae etc.

Well I kept seeing this girl from the bar in Patpong. She was young, tight, beautiful, shy and seemed nice but deep down what's going on? I'm starting to think with my Doctor Spock! I pay her 1000 baht a day but still go out every day night and bang a different pussy. Well I think to myself, what the heck, I had a lot of catching up to do and I'm helping someone less fortunate then me. Next thing I know it's time to go home – not happy.

The last night I spent at Patpong like the first the time, thing's were different. I wasn't as green! And had learnt a few Thai words. I partied hard as you do. I think I had two hours sleep. The girl had gone. Shit I thought last night at least she'd wait to say bye, but who was I kidding? I'm out disco dipping, short timing, you pay for time not love.

I'm on the plane already planning to go back. I had some money left over from my half share in the former home so some 10 days later I'm off like a smelly fart. City of Smiles, here I come! So back to the bar where I met the girl with the long hair. The usual shit, I miss you etc. I feel 23 when I'm in Bangkok. Not 43. So off we go! I felt like John Lennon & Yoyo three days I stayed in the room and then we went back to Pattaya.

After two days the other guy I was with girl comes clean and she tells him I have a good heart and the girl I'm with is married with a child. She's been just stringing me for the money, nothing else… He tells me and I'm a bit pissed. Here I am in Thailand. You can get any girl at a price so at first I say nothing, just take a swim to cool off then in the room I put it to her. So what was this you have a husband BITCH! Oh no, no crying lies! Give me the gold chain back and I tell her to Donald Duck off! I have no money she says. Go and pick some one up, earn some or ring up your army husband. Up to you, now F…..off!

Now I've been to the big school now from being the best place in the world to I hate women! They're all the same – money, money, lies, lies but then I thought this is not going to happen again. After all who am kidding it's been a ride, the sexual merry go round wake up, so I say to my self I'll move on and see the countryside, explore a little. It's been 4 days and I haven't let little brother out to play so off we go, the 3 off us. The Aussie guy and his girl who has lost face big time knowing when she gets back to the bar she'll cop it for giving up a work mate. We sit down at some cafe for a meal. More rice & chicken. It's the best chicken!

After a couple of Carlsbergs, I notice this set of eyes on me. It's one of the waitresses. I said to my friend I'm going to ask her out if she's a lady, so I call her over. She's very shy and can only say hello. The other Thai girl starts talking in Thai. She tells me she comes from Surin and is 33. Shit I couldn't believe it! She looked much younger as they do. After going back to her apartment etc we were getting on even though I didn't speak Thai & vice versa. Soon I'm off to Surin to meet mum & dad! Now this is different! Dirt floors, pigs, dogs, chooks all running around everywhere! Little did I know that I was the first boyfriend to be brought home, Thai or farang. As I later found out, time was different out there.

As I grew closer to the girl I'm thinking here I go again. But hang on, where's the story? She hasn't! She was just a girl from the bush with 5 brothers. So back to the big smoke. My new girl was only getting about 1000 baht a week so I said I'd give her 2000 baht and feed her etc. She was happy. Now I'm learning Thai, sleeping with a dictionary back in Bangkok. We stay at the Honey again. Things are good but being a naughty boy, I start to wander again. This girl doesn't say anything about me coming home at 3 – 4 every morning even though her English is getting better, but just a little. What would you do without the Jumbo Thai English dictionary? Soon I think. Hold on. My friend here is doing some work. I'm just hanging around becoming a bar fly!

After many experience with the freelancers and bargirls, good & bad, I decided I'd ask the girl if she wanted to go to Australia for a holiday. After a couple of month's back and forward to Surin we got a passport & visa. Thai way, it's an experience in itself. Well that was the 5 months in Thailand. The girl turned out just fine. We went back two more times. Now we are married in Australia and have a 3 year old son. He's number 1 happy happy. I'm into 5 years this month so guys just remember, there's good & bad everywhere. Treat people how you like to be treated and see what happens. We're going back in November. The wife has a go at me all the time. You wear condom when you see old girlfriend! Maybe I was lucky but I know 4 – 5 other Aussie fellows, young & old, that are really happy in their marriges. Remember you can take the girl out off Thailand but you can't take Thailand out off the girl. All you need is lots off bug's bunnie! !!$$$!!

Stickman says:

I love the old Cockney slang! Nice story. There are some nice girls out there. I see many guys have done what you have done – had a bit of a shagathon before setting down with a lady who is suitable. I hope it continues to be good.