Stickman Readers' Submissions April 14th, 2002

Bar Girls

It has been of great help to me when I was in Thailand last time. Despite reading many warnings I made a huge mistake and fell totally for a Thai girl. I'll try and be as brief as I can.

I met Fon, 19 years old about 3 weeks into my month in the LOS. She worked in a bar outside Nana Plaza. At this particular time I was feeling a little disillusioned with the whole scene. It was late morning and I went in and had a beer. We started talking and she seemed so different from the other girls I had met. I thought I had possibly met a genuinely nice girl.

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It turned out that she had only been working in the bar for two weeks, having previously lived with her Grandfather in Chiang Mai. They had an argument about a Thai man he wanted her to marry. She ran away to Bangkok after arranging a flight with the help of a friend. Her friend also helped her find a shared apartment. She worked the early shift in the bar so as to fit in her schooling. It was made clear to me that she hardly ever goes with customers and that if she did it was only dinner and after she would make an excuse and leave. This was reinforced by what the other girls at the bar had told me. I believed this.

I paid bar after asking her about a Department Store (MBK). She said that she would take me as she had to get her mobile fixed. We had a meal and a few drinks and that was it. I was hooked. Her English was quite good and it was refreshing to actually have a conversation of more than a couple of sentences. I didn't look upon her as a prostitute but as a kind, gentle and caring girl. this was a big mistake.

I had paid bar for nearly a week and my holiday was nearing it's end. I was definitely not ready to leave and lose her so I extended my trip for another four weeks. I only paid bar for the first five or so days of meeting her. She knew I hated the thought of paying for her and said that when I leave for England she would go to stay with her Grandmother in Buriram. She hated working bar. That meant I did not have to pay the bar any more. I asked about her school as I did not want her work to suffer. I was assured that a transfer to a school in Buriram would not be a problem.

After being together for the rest of my time in Thailand it was time for me to leave. My money had all but ran out. Being my first time in Thailand I did not take always the cheapest option. It was so difficult saying goodbye at the airport but I promised to return. I had given her a time of about six or seven months. She said she would wait for me and we could phone and email each other regularly. I set up an email in Thailand and this seemed a great and inexpensive way to keep in contact. I said for her to be honest with me if she meets anyone and I would do the same. We are a long way apart and have to trust each other. I was worried about her getting bored in Buriram and going back to the bar. I was firmly told that this would not happen.

Upon my return to England I got a job and have been working the last six months, taking all the overtime I can and working every day some weeks so as to get back to her. We have been keeping in regular contact and I was told of her part-time job in a factory and how her school work was going. Two weeks ago I told her I had emailed details of the flight I had just paid for. She was so happy to know that I was coming back to her and would be arriving on 12 May.

I had mentioned previously to her that I would try and find a job to keep me in Thailand but she said that this would not be possible or that it would be very poorly paid. I looked further into this and agreed.

I would go and spend some time with her and see where we go from there. Several hints were dropped by her that if we couldn't be together in Thailand then it may be possible in England. This made me look at the visa requirements and go a step further than I was ready to go. But I loved her and thought that she was the one.

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I had read many true stories on your site and others about Falang Thai relationships but they were so different to my situation. I have never sent her any money and she has never asked for any. She did not seem to be a hard-nosed and ruthless bar girl. Nor did she seem experienced in any way about the nightlife or know her way around. She had only ever had one proper boyfriend before me and to me she seemed the most genuine person you could ever wish to meet. On a couple of occasions I got a throat infection and was unwell. She was so kind and considerate. So different to the other girls I had met. Such a refreshing change.

But I could not get these stories of broken-hearted farangs out of my head. With just over four weeks to go I had an idea to be 100% sure about her. There were certain nagging doubts I wanted to put to rest.

I was able to access her hotmail. I knew the answer to her secret question, changed her password and I was in. I could not believe what I was seeing but it was all there. Two 'boyfriends' from America, one Swiss and another two from England. Including the messages I sent her there were photo's of her in various hotels where she had accompanied these men on there holidays. I read their messages and they were under the same impression as me. That they were the only one in her life. It took me over an hour to read these emails from men pouring out their hearts and declaring undying love for her. I realised everything had been a complete lie. Our time together in Thailand and our contact since is all bullshit. She has played me and them for fools. Now I know why quite often it was hard to phone her. She was with customers or one of her boyfriend's came to visit.

There was one man who had found her out and wanted money back from her. He was going to the Doctors ASAP to get checked out. Like him, I never used protection with her after believing her stories of only ever having one boyfriend. She assured me there was only one other time she had sex and had used condoms. This was bullshit. She could have had unprotected sex with hundreds of men before me. Everything was a lie.

I now of course know her other boyfriends emails and will take great pleasure in informing them just what sweet little Fon is really like. I will tell them the facts and then if they still want to send her money or visit her during their next time to Thailand it is up to them. I have deleted all my messages and sent her a final email and never want to see her again.

Thank you for the information. Without your site I would not have had as many doubts and definitely would not have investigated. I will now be coming to Thailand much wiser than before and should have a great time. I won't take out my anger on the rest of the Thai girls I meet during my stay. One thing I will do is not stay with a girl longer than 1 night. That way it stays as business and feelings do not come into it.

Stickman says:

Such a typical story…good on you for doing your own detective work. Setting up an email account and maintaining the password seems to be the best way to protect one's "interest". I must confess some concern about the lack of condom use – and it just represents how laxadaisical these girls can be on that issue. This piece was originally sent in just as an email but the author kindly agreed to my request to host it as a submission.

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