The Rant

Where do I begin? For a long time I have wanted to write an article in response to the underlying theme I see represented in Stickman’s articles and in most of his reader’s submissions. What I find fascinating about Stickman’s articles and his reader’s submissions is that they represent a purely occidental perspective of Thailand and Thai society. These farang writers not only represent an occidental world view, but a farang world view that represents the notion that travelling across the world to rent and buy Asian women for sexual pleasure is morally benign. What I find ironic about these farang is that it seems that they don’t even like Thailand or Thai women, because all they seem to do is write in to bitch and moan about how they were taken for all their money by some uneducated farmers. Personally, I see the karmic justice. Farangs travel across the world to fuck Thais girls because they are cheap, yet the Thais end up with the last laugh and the last satang at the expense of these stupid, desperate farang. Indeed, farang keep coming back to Thailand by the planeloads just to exploit Thai women and, weirdly enough, to be exploited by them. But in this system of mutual exploitation, do the farang understand that the odds always favour the house? Whoring around is like gambling-except the farang losers never seem to win. If the farang, however, sees whoring around as entertainment, rather than as a way of life, he will probably end up like the millions of casual gamblers who go to Las Vegas every year. An entertained loser. Unfortunately, there is a group of farang who are actually addicted to whoring. These are the obsessive-compulsive farang losers. And there are some farang who think they are powerful big shots because they can blow loads of dough on Thai women without blinking an eye. These are the high-rolling losers. Really, what kind of idiot would spend tens of thousands of baht just to seek the admiration of whores? And do these big shot farang really think that their whores admire them? Of course not, the girls think these farang are stupid and easy to take advantage of. One time I saw a farang running around blowing money on whores like the world was going to end tomorrow. This deluded farang really believed the girls loved him just because he thought of himself as the king of whores-which is a title I would want to aspire to. I asked one of the girls in his entourage what she really thought of this guy. She told me that she and the girls actually hated this high roller loser, but he gave away free money, so they tried to milk him as much as possible. She said, “We hate this farang, but we love his money.” To her thinking, why not tolerate this loud mouth, English asshole for a short period of time and kiss his ass until he started giving money away? And then move on to the next fool. Farang may think Thais are stupid, but Thais sure know how to conduct impromptu cost-benefit analyses. And the whores are actually entertained as well. The whores can mock and make jokes about the stupid farang aka “whale” in Thai while the other whores look on in envy.

Just the other day I was sitting in a bar minding my own business while waiting for a friend. Some girls came over and started talking to me. I love interviewing bar girls. And it is quite amazing how much a bar girl will tell you if you treat them with respect rather than as a sperm receptacle that can be bought and sold on the marketplace. Anyway, I found out one girl was making 200,000 baht a month off four stupid farang. That is a lot of money!! This girl doesn’t have to do anything except write a few e-mails and answer a couple phone calls. I asked her why was she still working if she was making that kind of money. She told me that there always will be more stupid farang out there willing to send her good money for doing nothing, so why quit now. I have to admit she was right. My grandfather always taught me that the way to get rich was to have assets that produce positive cash flow. Gramps had explained to me that this is how the Chinese and Jews get rich. Well, I don’t know much about the Jews, but I definitely know that is how the Chinese become so rich. So Thai girls see farang the same way as the Chinese see assets in the capitalist world. In other words, the more farang a whore accumulates, the more money she makes. And all she has to do is give some stupid farang a song and dance about some make-believe tragedy in her life. But in the end, who really wins in this casino of whores? The Thais, of course. They are the house. Thais are laughing all the way to the bank with farang money. Besides the whores, how much money is flowing into the legitimate economy of hotels, airlines, restaurants, bars and the like? Billions of dollars. Now do farang think Thais are stupid? I don’t see Thais running to farangland to spend millions of dollars on whores. I don’t see Thai men sending millions of dollars to support farang women. In the eyes of most normal folk, charity begins at home. I wonder how many farang men are financially neglecting their own families at home in order to provide for their whores in Thailand. I would reckon the number is quite high. And I would like to know, are farang really getting value for their money? I suppose so. Why else are so many farang coming back again and again to fuck cheap bar girls, right? Wrong. I would argue that farang are not getting value for money. I really don’t see the value in paying a woman thousands of baht just to use her as a place to put sperm in a condom. It seems kind of absurd to me. And I really don’t see the value of sending a whore thousands of dollars a month just so that she can make a fool out of you. Are farang masochistic or what? In fact, farang are just perpetuating a morally and economically corrupt system of exploitation- and usually against themselves. Farang will come to Thailand to bang whores because they are cheap and accessible, and a whore sees her farang as nothing more than a cash-producing asset. Where does love come into play? It doesn’t. How does a system of mutual exploitation like this produce love when the whole thing is so morally and economically corrupt in the first place? How can you not be spiritually and morally harmed by this system?

And in Stickman’s case, here you have an English language schoolteacher writing articles about the joys of living in glorious Bangkok, describing in great detail about how one can teach by day and whore around by night. And believe it or not, he is actually thinking about writing an article that teaches whoremongers how to prey upon normal Thai women. For some bizarre notion, Stickman thinks that he is above all the sleaze now that he has reformed his whoring ways and has found a normal Thai woman to settle down with, good for him, yet he continues to pimp Thai women by advertising brothels on his website. That is like a thief telling everybody that he has stopped stealing, but continues to profit from it by teaching others how to steal. I find it quite astonishing that he actually has advertisements for girlie bars listed next to a column on how to find an English language teaching position in Thailand. Does Stickman represent the world view of the farang who has stayed in Thailand too long, corrupted by the banality of the naughty nightlife? Would Stickman be happy if a foreigner went to his country and started promoting it on a website as the perfect place for sex tourists and horny schoolteachers? I don’t mean to pick on Stickman. But he does seem like a sanctimonious hypocrite. Personally, I would not want some foreigner going to my country to teach schoolchildren and encourage sex tourism. Would anyone? I don’t know how Stickman justifies his position. I really can’t see a defensible excuse for having a website dedicated to marketing sex tourism and English teaching in a country where one happens to be a guest. Further, Stickman doesn’t seem to have much professional integrity concerning his social role as a teacher. Does he understand that teachers have a special role in society, which doesn’t include pimping Thai girls? I can’t imagine that a Thai schoolteacher would ever consider pimping white hookers in the West. And Stickman can’t argue that Thais (except his fiancée obviously) would knowingly tolerate a schoolteacher, especially a foreigner, moonlighting as a sex tourism advocate on the side. I once asked a Thai female friend what she thought about Stickman’s website. Needless to say, she was horrified by it. My friend is no moral crusader, but I agree with her that farang teachers who promote sex tourism are quite shameless. In Thai society, teachers are revered alongside monks and parents. This is known as katunyu or bun khun in Thai. If farang think they are experts on Thailand, yet don’t understand the meaning of katunyu and bun khun, well then, that only demonstrates that these farang are stuck in a bar mentality without any understanding of how Thai society functions. And I suppose that is the purpose of my writing this article. Farang really have a superficial understanding of Thai society. Sure, of course, there are some barflys who think they are experts on Thailand because they know how to speak Lao and like to wipe their butts with a hose. Personally, I listen to their expertise with baited breath.

Stickman’s sycophants constantly complain about Thai people and Thai culture, yet they seem hypocritical regarding their own repugnant behavior of travelling across the world to spend thousands of (fill in the currency) on buying Thai women for pleasure. Some farang will even give up their families and careers to come to Thailand and work as English teachers for less than a thousand US dollars a month just to be close to cheap whores. Can anybody say “mid-life crisis?” When I was growing up, mid-life crisis meant middle-aged men getting divorced, wearing toupees, and buying convertibles. It seems the concept of mid-life crisis has changed quite a bit, hasn’t it? Does it really mean desperate, repulsive men with teenage brides sitting in a beer bar in Pattaya or Bangkok playing Connect Four all day? Man, if that is the case, times have surely changed. Just look how the farang mourn the demolition of that beer bar hell on Soi 10 as if it were a major genocide. Times have changed, indeed. In a way, I empathize with these deranged farang. Yes, I understand that capitalism is a rat race that eats up one’s soul. I also understand the desire to run away from the dog eat dog world of corporate life. But what I find fascinating is that farang will run away from the inhumane capitalist world to Thailand to escape from corporate reality only to take part in an equally horrifying system of buying Thai women in the market place. Some of these fed up with Western capitalism farang will even go so far as to open beer bars or brothels to become pimps of Thai women. But, strangely enough, the typical farang runs away from the capitalist world only to purchase his future Thai wife or girlfriend with cold hard cash. Only a brain dead fool would pay a dowry for a whore! I can’t believe a farang will marry the first whore he has good sex without having a clue about his wife’s language, culture or society. Yet, they do. Are farang insane or what? In any event, I think it is weird that farang complain that their whores are money-grubbing liars. Let’s see, the typical farang will travel half way across the world to Thailand to rent prostitutes, yet complains that his whore wants money. A whore wanting money for sex seems pretty normal to me. So why are farang so incredulous when their whores use every trick in the book to rid them of their hard-earned money? Is that really a shocker to them? The typical farang will travel across the world in desperation to fulfil that empty void in his life by finding some poor peasant whore to wed, yet he feels betrayed if his whore is unfaithful. There is something really bizarre about a farang whoremonger-who usually won’t reform his own sick ways- expecting a whore to be as pure as the driven snow and full of integrity. Doesn’t anybody find that absurd? And farang actually write to Stickman to complain that Thais are the ones who don’t make any sense. Come on! Farang really need to get a grip on their hypocrisy.

Farang who write to Stickman are quite myopic. Most submissions written to Stickman seem to represent the world view of the farang whoremonger with absolutely no knowledge or respect for the Thai world view. Farang accuse Thais of being close-minded when I actually think the opposite is true. Maybe Farang think Thais are stupid because Thais see no great honor in abandoning their home, family and friends to live as paupers in a Third World country just to bang prostitutes. Yeah, farang are clever and Thais are stupid. Yet I never have witnessed planeloads of Thais going to my country to pay thousands of dollars to fuck rice farmers and buffalo jockeys. Yes, I weep for the poor Thai who doesn’t listen to the advice of those great white hopes who shave their heads, cover themselves in tattoos, smell horribly, have yellow teeth, chain smoke, and watch football all day long while drinking warm beer. Why should Thais listen to the advice of sexpats, sex tourists, and incompetent English teachers? If some scumbag foreigner who I knew was fucking, exploiting and pimping my women-started lecturing to me about what was wrong with my country and society, I would punch him the face. Where do farang losers get the nerve to judge Thais? There is nothing more disgusting to me than watching old, obese, repulsive farang losers bouncing young Thai girls on their knees while they wank on and on about how much Thais should do this or Thailand should do that. Farang seem far more idiotic, absurd and hypocritical to me than Thai people. Does anybody think for one minute that Thai women have websites and message boards dedicated to complaining about the evils of farang men? I am sure the thousands of Thais who go abroad every year have websites dedicated to finding and fucking foreigners. I can see it now, “Fon’s guide to Fucking Farang in Frankfurt.” So, really, what motivates farang to write to Stickman and complain about Thai women and Thai society? Do farang really feel that compelled to share their stupidity and hypocrisy with the masses? The typical story goes like this:

Hi! My name is Mike Moron from Farangland. I met the love of my life in a brothel. And even though we could barely communicate with each other, my wife and I fell madly in love after a few short times. After our engagement, which basically meant I was paying her bar fine everyday for a couple weeks, I purchased my wife’s freedom from her brothel for 100,000 baht. I also gave my wife’s parents 500,000 baht in cash as a payment for my wife’s freedom. I bought her “brother” some land and a house to help him get on his feet. At our wedding I gave my beautiful bride nine baht in gold. I just loved how all that gold dripping off her dark skin looked so classy and radiant. After the wedding, I had to go back to my job as a nuclear scientist. Sadly, my little darling had to stay behind and wait for her visa because my country discriminates against whores for some reason. While we were waiting for her visa, I sent her 60,000 baht a month, so she didn’t have to work. My little darling called me “keenio” for all my generosity. I thought to myself, How Grand! She is trying to teach me Thai. I knew that she was madly in love because she said “I luf you, hansum man” quite often to me on the phone. Or maybe that was the extent of her English vocabulary. I could never really tell. She even had a cute nickname for me, “moo ooan,” which I think means “sexy man, same same David Beckham” in Thai. When I called to check in every night, I was relieved to hear my wife’s “brother” laughing in the background. It was nice to know somebody was protecting her from those bad Thai guys in her neighborhood. My wife and her brother had to sleep together in the house I bought them, because she was afraid of ghosts. But that’s OK, Thai families are very close. My wife loved me so much that she tattooed my name with a razor blade up and down her wrist and branded a Man U logo across her beautiful chest. I felt so proud. When she felt depressed, she told me she smoked smelly red tablets, because thinking about how much she missed me made her crazy. She called it yaba, I think, but I wasn’t sure at first, because I thought she was trying to call me a yobo. What devotion! When my wife finally arrived, everything went well for the first couple weeks, except that we didn’t have Connect Four and English Premiere League to occupy our time in between sessions. Each time she was down and homesick I played my “Hotel California” single to get her in a good mood, but all she did was whine about not being able to find the proper ingredients to make a decent som tom. I guess she was getting tired of bangers and mash and all those aromatic Indian curries I was feeding her everyday. So I hooked her up with some “karaoke” girls in the neighborhood- who were all wives of me best mates- hoping that they would start a Thai cookery club. That’s when her attitude really changed, unfortunately. She started demanding more money and more gold. At first, I gave her everything that her little heart desired; I thought I could buy her love like I did in Thailand. But then I started to reconsider what I was doing. After all, I was giving her the good life in farangland, so the least she could do was love and respect me for liberating her from that dreadful brothel where we first consummated our love. So I finally put my foot down after buying her land, a house, a pig farm, and handing her 50K pounds in cash. I thought that was a decent price for a lifetime of devotion and hot sex. I am the man, after all, and she is just a whore. I mean, why was she dictating the financial terms of our relationship? Girls like that don’t need much after all, just a good man to take care. But once I stopped the gravy train from flowing, she left me. My wife adapted quickly to my country and found a flatmate, who was a drug dealing katoey- an ex-wife of me best mate. Now my wife works at a massage brothel with her katoey friend making two hundred quid an hour. I didn’t know where she was working at first, but one day I went in to my local brothel, asked for a Thai girl, and out came my wife in a bikini- looking just as classy as the first day I met her. Once the initial shock wore off, we had a good session. After I paid her fee, of course, my wife told me that she had contacted an attorney and was going to demand half my wealth. So I gave her a few extra pounds to get by on until the settlement came in. She also admitted to me that she had contracted several venereal diseases from her brother’s toilet seat before we got married. My wife started to cry, so I gave her a few extra quid to go see a doctor. God, how I missed her so. Now here I am nervously awaiting the results of my AIDS test. I am writing this story to warn other potential victims of the evils of Thai women. By the way, when my herpes and warts start to clear up, I will be making my 13th trip to Thailand. See you at Nana.

But I don’t even consider the sex tourist-who actually has the brains to go home- to be the most pathetic of the farang. The expat English teacher who actually chooses to live and work in Bangkok is even more of a tragic case. OK. I have nothing against the English teacher who is a Peace Corps volunteer or something like that. But who in his right mind would choose to live in a hellhole like Bangkok? I really can’t believe farang would actually leave their families and careers back home to work as English teachers in Bangkok just to go bar hopping every night. Is the allure of living in a shitty 5000 baht a month, cockroach-infested bedsit with a whore really that appealing to farang? Is that really the farang’s ideal notion of adventurously adapting to a foreign culture? And the English I can’t figure out at all. Why would an Englishman travel across the world to a grotesque Third World city to sit his ass in a bar, look at nasty women, drink disgusting beer, complain about everything, watch English Premiere League on TV, and teach English for a wage he can barely survive on when he can do exactly the same thing at home? But I have to give the English some credit, they sure have this uncanny ability to transfer their entire culture, untouched and unscathed, to other places in the world. Look at how they have destroyed Spain, Greece, Australia and New Zealand as well as Pattaya and Phuket with their cultural imperialism. In any event, I know the weather sucks in England, but is that really a good reason to pack it all up to move to Bangkok? I have yet to see a nicely tanned yob in Bangkok, anyway. They all look pale, strung out and sick to me. If an English guy desperately wanted to marry a whore, I am sure he could meet one at home if he really tried. English whores need loving too. I bet an English whore will even call you handsome man and overlook your bald head, body odour, and fat gut for a couple thousand quid a month also. Oh yeah, but I forgot, English men and women have to actually communicate with each other in the same language, so, forgive me, now I understand why liberating a Thai whore from her indentured servitude is actually better value for money than marrying an English whore. Americans, Aussies, and other Europeans, to be fair, have absolutely no excuses at all, because they can move to areas with good weather and fine-looking women.

Personally, I think the guys who say that all farang women are “fat, stuck up slappers” are completely deluded. I never have had any problems with farang women. Perhaps I am the one who is deluded. Maybe I have my priorities all fucked up just because I like women who have self-respect and actually work for a living rather than nasty, monkey faced whores-that no self-respecting Thai man would touch- who think they are actually worth 3000 baht a shag. Yes, indeed, I am abnormal because I measure the worth of my woman by something other than the value she places on the monthly rental price for the exclusive use of her pussy. Maybe I am crazy because I value communication, honesty and mutual respect in my relationships with women. Perhaps I am just stupid and naïve. Considering so many guys have found their soul mates in Thai brothels for the right price, maybe I can as well. I really should learn to keep an open mind.

The only reason I am writing this is because I really get annoyed with farang writing in to Stickman all the time complaining about Thais. Perhaps I have a better appreciation for Thais because I don’t live in a farang/whore ghetto and my relationship to Thais and Thailand extends far beyond the English school/girlie bar axis of evil. In a way I am saddened by all the farang ignorance concerning Thailand and Thai people. Thailand is an absolutely fascinating country with so much more to it than just whores. All the things farang find strange and illogical about Thais are totally explainable if stupid farang made an effort to understand the Thai world view. By that, I don’t mean the Nana or Patpong or Pattaya world view. It is hard for me to believe that farang will spend thousands of euros, dollars, and pounds to travel to Thailand to rent prostitutes, profess love for them, get engaged to them, and send tens of thousands of baht every month to take care of them, yet won’t go to Asia Books to buy a couple of cheap books that will explain a lot of the great mysteries of the Thais. And that crap written by Christopher Moore doesn’t count. I have come to realize that most farang-especially the so-called experts-are completely ignorant regarding Thais. I have yet to see an opinion of one person on this site or any other that doesn’t represent the demented whoremonger’s perspective. Conversely, skanky, chain- smoking, uncouth whores covered in tattoos are not generally representative of the Thai world view as well. I think a lot of misunderstanding comes from the convergence of these two really perverse worlds. I don’t think the farang whoremonger is truly representative of farangland nor do I think the Isaan whore truly represents the whole of Thailand. Indeed, the whoremonger and the whore seem to represent the freakier sides of society. I think this is evident every time one enters a naughty nightlife establishment. In fact, they should rename the farang bar scene: “Thai Freaks and Farang Geeks.”

Maybe it is just me, but I have yet to meet an educated farang/Thai couple from a middle class background having the same problems as the losers on Stickman’s website. Why do stupid farang like to blame their whore girlfriends for the failure of their relationships? Are farang really that lame? Who really expects some nasty, fat, bald headed loser from the West to have a successful relationship with some pubescent, uneducated peasant girl that he met in a brothel? Do these guys really believe these girls are marrying them for love? Why is the girl working in a brothel in the first place? To meet the love of her life? Get a life! I can just imagine little Nok from Sisaket applying for a job at a bar, asking her boss, “Gee, if I bang as many guys as possible, what do you think my chances are of finding some free spending, bald, fat, repulsive, smelly, yob loser who likes to watch football all day and jerk off into little girl’s panties? … Because boss that is what I have been looking for my entire life.” When did love all of a sudden get re-defined? Is love paying some desperate rice farmer a couple thousand baht for a roll in the hay? Is the meaning of love sending an ungrateful whore 60,000 baht a month so that she go blow her farang’s hard-earned money on bottles of whiskey, discos, drugs, designer clothes, and Thai pimps? Is love paying some outrageous dowry to a whore so that she can buy land and a house in preparation for the day she will leave you blowing in the wind with nothing but the dick in your hand? Personally, I don’t call that love. I call it stupidity.

Stickman says:

Taken individually, a lot of the points that you make are valid, but when put together along with so many of the generalisations that you make, a lot of what you have written subsequently loses credibility. Also, the tone with which it is written will limit its appeal to people who see things as you do – a group I would suggest is fairly small in size. Nonetheless, I'll try and respond to some of the points that you make.

Yes, you will not get any argument from me over the dubiousness of folks entering into long term relationships with former working girls, often after the space of just a few visits, potentially only a small number of hours together. I have commented on this a thousand times already…

As for the comments particularly about me and the way I run the site, I am happy to respond to them. Without advertising, this site wouldn't exist. It is as simple as that. Of course, I would be happy to host adverts for non nightlife products, and in fact many of the ads are non nightlife, but some are naughty. Look in the Bangkok Post and you will find ads for farang oriented nightlife venues every day. The same goes across virtually all tourism brochures, in fact these publications are riddled with such ads. Ads for naughty activities and establishments are very much the norm in Thailand. Carefully take note of the overall tone of the various pieces on the site. The nightlife article clearly states that indulging is not the be all and end all of Thailand and clearly states that it in fact is merely a quick fix, if even that. The teaching article quite clearly makes strong comments and recommendations about how people considering a teaching job should take it serious, get qualified etc.

As for the comments about being a teacher and promoting sex tourism, I would suggest that you read through parts of the site again. There are quite a lot of fairly strong comments AGAINST it all. Yes, I do accept paid advertisements and that could be construed as promotion, but that point has already been addressed. For a LONG time I have stated that prostitution in Thailand provides but a temporary fix for most of the customers and the girls too. Not a lot of people on either side of the transaction get what they are looking for. I could start to tell you about what many of the Thai teachers at work get up to. I could respond with stories of the unqualified folks masquerading as teachers in this city. I could tell you about various teachers who jump into bed with their students. I hate to tell you that teachers are not the pure, innocent bunch that you may have imagined…

One could pull parts of your argument to bits, but I had to chuckle at the bit when I read you were in a bar, chatting with the girls. So, it is ok for you to sit there in chat with the girls, but go on to call other people are a bunch of losers? Hmmm….

Finally, if the tone of your piece is representative of your true feelings, the question has to asked. Why do you continue to read the site and visit the bars? That you don't like it is fair enough, so why continue to do it?