Stickman Readers' Submissions March 24th, 2002

Before The Crackdown Part 1

By Deandre Derr

I arrived in Thailand for the first time in 1997 for ten days. Alone, not knowing anyone, and in my upper forties, I wanted to experience the things that many people have always talked about. I arrived at 10 AM and slept until 11 PM still dazed from my long flight from Farangland. I was still very tired, but I said to myself, "Hey, you're only here for 10 days, so you better get going." I dressed quickly and flagged a taxi and told him to take me where the girls are. Unknowingly, he dropped me off at Soi Cowboy at midnight.

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I could not believe my eyes! I never saw so many beautiful sexy girls in one place. In shock, I didn't know what to do. As soon as one beauty grabbed me, another much more beautiful girl began calling at me. I froze! I didn't know what the deal was or how one goes about negotiating. So I wandered about the Soi looking to ask someone who spoke English. With all these women about, how does anyone choose? I walked over to a group of farang men who were slightly drunk and chatting. I interrupted them and asked, "Excuse me, this is my first time in Thailand, could you tell me what the deal is here with these women?" They smiled and said that they were going to Long Gun and invited me to join them for a drink.

While we were walking towards that bar, with my eyes gazing at the beautiful ladies in disbelief, I asked one of them, "How do you know which one is available? "He uttered, "They're all available!" I became deeper into shock! We entered Long Gun and they bought me a drink, while explaining everything. Not too long thereafter, one girl was sitting on my knee massaging my crotch, while my hand was on another's big breast. Shortly, another began making out with me. I was in heaven! This sure doesn't go on in Farangland. The three girls, individually, asked me to take her to my hotel, but I could not choose. The men who invited me were smiling. Suddenly, while my hands, mouth, and crouch were all occupied, the bars suddenly closed. It's already 2 AM! The girls begged me to take them, but I still could not choose. There were just too many beautiful sexy girls to choose from. I wandered out to the Soi alone in the darkness.

There were, what it seemed like, hundreds of girls everywhere walking about, ready to go home, and still, I had no one to be with. I was very confused, although I was enjoying every minute of it. I stood there thinking, "'Well, even if I don't get laid tonight, at least I sort of know what the deal is now. Tomorrow I'll be better prepared, and I'll arrive earlier."

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As the crowd became lighter, I saw another farang man in his early thirties walking toward me. I interrupted him, "Hey, excuse me, I'm new here, could you tell me how one approaches one of these girls?" "You wanna get laid?" he asked. "I sure do," I replied. He laughed, and asked, "Which one do you like?" I pointed, "That little one over there seems nice." He quickly grabbed my arm and took me directly up to the girl who was talking to her friend, and said to her, "Hey, he likes you!" I stood there frozen. The girl looked into my eyes and smiled. She grabbed my hand and began pulling me towards somewhere. As she was pulling me, she had seen one of her friends. She dropped my hand and ran to her friend and began chattering, occasionally looking toward me. The guy I was with came to me and stated that it was too late. She probably will trek with her girlfriend. "Come with me," he said, "I'll get you laid tonight." I smiled and I followed him.

We entered a taxi at the entrance of the Soi. He told the driver, "Take us to a madam's house…we want young girls." The driver got out of his taxi and began talking with the other drivers. I said to my new friend that I think you confused the driver. He replied not to worry…he knows what we want and he'll find out where to go. I'm enjoying this guy's determination very much. While the driver was consulting his fellow drivers, my new friend and I became aquatinted. He is very funny, and determined to get me laid. I'm impressed! The driver returned and took us to a long, dark alley. Not too far from Soi Cowboy. There were a few men who greeted us at the end of the pitch-black dark alley, and proceeded to escort us into a house. It was now 3 AM in the morning. Inside this house, there was only one girl available for the evening. The mamasan stated that it was very late / or early, and that all her girls were gone, but this one is still available. This only girl seemed kind of ok!

OK, but showed no interest in going with me. My friend told me, "Take her!" I replied, "I don't know!" The mamasan tried to talk me into it, but I finally decided no. We exited the house to enter the taxi, but some of the men in the dark alley escorted us into another adjoining house. I reluctantly entered with my friend following. As soon as this other mamasan asked us to sit on the couch, about 20 young beautiful girls entered the room. Ages 16 to 18. I was overwhelmed. My friend and I were both in shock. As soon as I was about to pick a girl, a Thai guy entered and immediately picked the girl I wanted. My friend told me to pick one fast. I was about to pick another, but the same thing happened again. This house was frequented by Thais. I immediately became disgusted and left empty handed. I've never done anything like this before, so I was caught by surprise. We entered our taxi and proceeded to grab a bite to eat somewhere outside Thermae Coffee shop, although, we both did not know anything about Thermae at that time.

We sat down to eat. My new friend told me that I was too particular about choosing women. I agreed. I told him that I just can't fxxx just to fxxx. I must feel something about the girl in order to enjoy it. Suddenly, a beautiful, sensual, young girl appeared. She was wearing a nice, short, black dress. She appeared very shy and cute. Sort of like an anime girl. I immediately said hello, on my own, and she sat down quietly next to me. She said nothing. My friend asked if I like her. I replied that she's a doll. My friend asked her, "Do you want to go with him? She replied softly, "Yes!" "Long time? " he asked her. "Too late, I have baby, short time," she replied softly. "How much?" I asked. "500 baht," she replied. I told my friend where I was staying, thanked him for his patience and effort, and off we went.

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The next day, about four in the afternoon, I received a call from my new friend. I was totally surprised that he contacted me. He stated that he was about to visit me at my guesthouse. He told me to get ready, because we were going out again. Happily, I patiently awaited his arrival.

When he arrived, he began complaining about the traffic he had to endure to get to me. He asked why I was staying at a guesthouse far from where all the action is. I told him that I was with my friends in the Farangland having breakfast when someone sitting at a table next to us overheard me say that I was going to Thailand. This person asked me to hand him the Lonely Planet book I was holding, so that he could show me a good cheap place to stay. Not knowing anything about Thailand, he recommended this guesthouse near Khao San Rd. My friend replied that I was 100 baht away from the action by taxi, and that I would have trouble returning with a Thai girl here. I told him that I don't know where else to stay. My friend was staying at the very expensive Renaissance. My friend asked how it went last night and I told him about the wonderful time I had with the sweet girl. He asked where we went. I told him to a nice short-time hotel.

Off we went in a taxi. He was going to turn me on to Patpong. We had a nice long chat in the taxi. We arrived at Patpong and proceeded to the entrance of this upstairs bar. He said, "Are you ready?" I asked what he meant. He said that as soon as we walk in about ten girls will jump on us immediately. "Are you ready to handle that?" he asked. I replied with a big smile, "OK, I'm ready!" "Watch your wallet" he replied.

He was correct. We were immediately stomped by many girls. He immediately liked one of the girls that were on him, but I wasn't sure about any of the one's that were on me. My friend said, "Hurry, pick one out so we could leave here quickly. It's cheaper than hanging out here." I looked around and seen a little cutie in the back of the club. I asked the mamasan to bring her over. She was young and a doll with beautiful long hair. The mamasan called her to me, she jumped on my lap. She felt wonderful and willing and thus, I said to my friend, "This is the one! " We paid our bar fine and exited to an outdoor bar in Patpong for a drink and chat.

My friend's girl was nice, but mine was beautiful. I learned then that my new friend was leaving Thailand in the morning. I became very sad to see him go. l thought to myself, "How am I going to do without him? We were just beginning to have a great time." We had a couple of drinks and he and his girl escorted us to a taxi. We hugged and I thanked him tearfully for guiding me. I'm gonna miss him! He told our driver to take my girl and I to a short-time hotel. We hugged again and departed.

The driver took us to a short-time hotel near Patpong, which was very nice. I had a great time with the girl. I paid her and investigated the hotel about the room we had. I decided to take my friends advice to be closer to the action. I booked a room at this hotel, which was five blocks from Patpong. I checked-out of my Khao San room the next day. With my friend gone and room closer to the action, I'm ready and confident to trek out on my own.

I had a great sleep, but I woke up late. I walked to Patpong around 9:30 PM. It was very crowded. So crowded, that I felt lost and alone. I decided to head to Soi Cowboy. At Cowboy, I walked into the club Black & White. I was relaxing, having a beer, chatting with an English speaking mamasan, and watching the beautiful young girls. I noticed a girl laughing at me that was sitting at the bar, and I asked the mamasan why that girl is laughing at me. She replied, "Because she likes you!" I asked her to invite her here, and she did. The girl felt great so I took her to my hotel for a long-time. The 19 year old girl was fantastic.

The next evening, I returned to Cowboy, but tried to avoid B&W to look for something new. I entered Long Gun, but it was overcrowded and difficult to get near a girl. Thus, I returned to B&W. The girl I had last night was very happy to see me, and introduced me to all the other girls…one by one. I bought a few of them drinks, which made them take an extra liking to me. Once the girls felt my personality, they began to joke and carrying-on with me in a very funny way. Like, they would walk by me, throw their arms around me, feel me, make my girl angry in a funny way, and proceed to another area of the bar or walk outside. Within a couple of hours, there were six girls sitting with me and the girl I had last night, all at one time. We were laughing and carrying on all night. When the bar closed, they all invited me to an after hour Thai underground bar. I had a great time meeting all these wonderful Thai friends of theirs. They had open bottles of whiskey on the table. We all hung-out to 5 AM and I again, took the same girl home.

The girl slept with me the entire day and I took her to work…back to B&W. However, I did not offer the girl money, and she did not ask. Too much sex, too much partying, and too much drinking, I returned to my room to relax and sleep.

I was awoken at 2 AM by a knock on the door. It was the same girl. She was funny and playful. Certainly unexpected!

The next day, she introduced me to Siam Square. We browsed through the shops. We didn't buy anything…just looked. We had dinner there, and afterwards I took her back to the bar. I paid the bar fine and we went to the movies. I just can't stop enjoying being with this girl. After all, she is beautiful. However, I just like to experience other beautiful girls. That's why I came to Thailand, but for now, I'm very content. She's also showing me a lot about Bangkok. After the movie, I wanted to go to the biggest disco in Bangkok. She took me to it and we experienced a great live show. We had a wonderful day and returned to my hotel. Sex is great with her too. However, I only have a few days left, so tomorrow I'm definitely going to get rid of her, and try something new.

The next day, I dropped her off at the bar. I still didn't give her any money, and again, she didn't ask. After all, I really didn't want her. It just sort of happened. I chattered with the other girls at the bar for a bit, and then I took off.

All I knew about was Soi Cowboy and Patpong. To get away from this girl, I returned to Patpong. I entered Kings Castle 2. I never saw such stunning girls in my entire life, ages 16? ? ? and up. I had a young girl on my lap ready and willing. She was phenomenal. She wanted 5000 baht for a long-time or 3000 for short. This girl was so outrageously beautiful that I agreed to give her the 5000. It would be a one time experience that I would never forget. I mean, a guy like me in my upper forties having a girl like this to fxxx me all night. [I'm a part of the problem that Stickman has talked very much about] After all, I'm on vacation, this is why I came here, and I still have plenty of money left. I agreed to give this girl 5000 baht and she hesitated. She tried to talk me into short-time for 3000, but I refused. It would be too frustrating just to have her for just an hour. Finally I told her long-time or nothing. She procrastinated. Then she told me to come tomorrow night and she will go with me. I became disgusted and left. There were at least 4 or 5 other girls that were almost as stunning as she was. Something to look into at another time.

I strolled around Patpong's market and bought a watch, which fell a part when I returned to Farangland. I walked around to the Japanese section and back to look around and to get a sense of the area. I strolled through some other bars, but nothing was happening or appealing.

I decided to enter this bar on the corner of the side street across from King Castle that seemed promising. I entered and ordered a beer. As I was looking at the 20 or so girls dancing on the stage, something appeared to be very strange. I kept looking and said to myself, "Wait a minute!" I looked around at all the girls. I began studying them. I then realized, "'There's not a fxxxing girl in this entire club! They're all guys. Ladyboys! Holy shit," I thought. I turned to the men sitting at a table not to far to my left and watched their faces. I wondered, "Do they know that they are drooling over boys?" I said to them, "There's not a girl in this club!" They looked at me kind of weird. Then, two ladyboys with big tits and body curbs went to them. The men grabbed the ladyboys and began feeling their asses. I yelled to them, "That's a guy! " One of the men replied while feeling the ladyboys ass, "You're trying to tell me that this is a guy?" "He sure is!" I replied. They both ignored me as if I were crazy. "Oh well," I thought. "Welcome to Thailand." I summoned the dyke waitress for my check and she asked why I was leaving so soon. I told her that there's not a girl in this entire place. She said, "Why? You don't like ladyboys?" "No! I like women just like you…just give me the check."

Being a little lost and disgusted, not knowing where to go next, I took a motorbike back to Soi Cowboy. Patpong sure has a lot of ladyboys. During the ride to Cowboy, I could not stop the flashback of the hot girls at Kings Castle 2.

At Soi Cowboy, I entered Long Gun. As I took a seat, I was immediately approached by two aggressive, hasty ladyboys. I literally had to fight them off. I got pissed off and left before ordering a drink. I needed a pick-me-up, so I returned to B&W.

Everyone at B&W was very happy to see me again, and I automatically felt very good. The girls, after closing, were all going to Nana disco, which I never knew about, and they wanted me to join them. Again, there were a lot of laughs going on, because the girls at B&W were always joking. After closing, we all took Tuk-Tuk's to Nana disco.

The music at Nana disco was great, but I particularly didn't like the crowd. There were a lot of ladyboys, and for the first time, I noticed a lot of lesbian activity amongst the girls. I thought, "What is it with all these ladyboys? They are all over the place!" Suddenly, a couple of serious big fights broke-out, girl on girl, and caused some farang's to go at it. I immediately became very uncomfortable. This is a first time experience for me, and I can not enjoy violent behavior. To couple that with the amount of ladyboys present, I became uneasy and walked out.

I went to the corner store for cigarettes, and when I exited the store, I was faced with the girl I been with for the last five days. She asked, "Where are you going?" I said, "Home!" She asked, "Why?" I told her that I didn't like the ladyboys and lesbian activity. She didn't know what to say. She asked me, "You want me to go with you?" I told her, "No! Stay! Have a good time with your friends. I really don't mind. Go ahead…Have a good time." She told me in Thai that I was crazy and with a pissed-off attitude, she walked away."

This has been a great learn-a-lesson day for me with a lot of ups & downs. But for now, I just want to go home and chill-out. I just want to have a good nights rest.

I walked across the street and got some melons from the vendor. Then I jumped in a taxi. Before I could close the taxi door, the other door opened and in came my B&W girl. I said, "What are you doing?" She puts her head in my chest and says, "I'm going with you!" She looks up at my eyes and smiles. She melted my heart and off we went.

We had sex for a couple of hours, and then we went to eat at an all night Thai stand. We returned to the hotel and kissed with more sex for the entire day. We barely had any sleep. All we did was kiss, cuddle, and f**k. I was leaving to Farangland the next morning. So before escorting her to a motorbike, we walked to Patpong where I cashed in my Travelers Checks and I gave her 8000 baht. I told her that I had a wonderful experience in Thailand because of her, and I will try to be back here in six months. We hugged, kissed, said our good-bye's, and she hopped on a motorbike back to Cowboy.

I was very exhausted from the sex and lack of sleep so I walked back to my hotel. I stopped for a moment, and thought about the hot young girls in Patpong's King Castle 2, but I had enough.

During the walk back to my hotel, I thought about all the knowledge I gained on how things work in Bangkok. There's so much more to learn, but in a ten day period, I learned a lot. I love Thailand. The people are very nice. The city is very vibrant, and the nightlife is superb. On could hang-out to six in the morning if they wanted to. The Thai girls sure know how to treat a man. Most of all, everyone enjoys having fun. One can never have all of this in Farangland. Especially at my age! I know I'm coming back and it will be soon. I sure wish I could live the rest of my life here. I'm poor! I have nothing in Farangland. No nest egg and no savings. I need to find a way.

I entered my hotel and began to pack. I need to have a good nights rest. I must leave by 7:30 AM. So if I pack now, I won't have to get-up at six in the morning.

Well, its 9:00 PM now so I'm gonna hit the bed. As sleeping time passes, knock, knock, and knock! "Shit! What time is it? It's 2 AM. What the f**k," I uttered. I opened the door and it was her. "Whatyadoin?" I said. "I wanted be with you and make you happy one more time," she stated with a big smile. Then she quickly began kissing me. "This girl is something else or should I say that Thai girls are something else. I already paid her. She didn't have to come back. She could be sleeping with someone else, and earning more money. What can I say. How do you leave someone like this behind?

We carried-on all night long until the last moment. We dressed quickly, paid my room bill and entered the street. I flagged a taxi, and she began to cry. I gave her the last hug and then I took her picture with my digital camera. "See you again in six months, probably in March," I told her. I entered the taxi and as we pulled away, I turned to look at her and waved goodbye. She did the same while in tears.

I was crying on the inside feeling very sad. I couldn't think. I just stared at the buildings moving out my taxi window. Thailand is an addictive place. I don't want to go back to Farangland. Then I glanced at the taxi meter, but there was none. I yelled to the driver, "Hey, where's your meter?" He replied, "I don't have one. What do you mean you don't have one," I frantically asked. "Airport very far," he replied. I yelled, "Don't give me that shit. The airport is not far. How much you gonna charge me." "500 baht," he said. "No," I yelled, "200 baht, airport not far." "500 baht," he replied again. "Don't fxxx with me!" I screamed, "I'm not in the mood, get off the highway now…exit here mutherfxxxer…exit here." The driver exited and stopped on the service road. "I'm not getting out here," I told him, "There's no taxi's here…keep driving down the street." He wouldn't move the taxi. I screamed directly into his face, "You're not going to make me miss my flight, you mutherfxxxer…GET MOVING…YOU HEAR ME! " He said, "OK, OK." He reached down to the lower level of his console, and opened a little door panel, which exposed a meter. He turned it on. "I get you to airport quick…no problem…no problem," he pleated. It took a few moments for me to calm down. I can't believe it. I can not even enjoy the last moments of Bangkok and the thought of the girl. I guess there's always a lesson to be learned in Thailand.

Part 2 is next. I did return to Bangkok in March.

Stickman says:

Interesting story, though quite a bit of it does NOT add up…

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