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Stickman Readers' Submissions November 30th, 2001

Are They Nice Girls Or Not?

By Another Confused Farang

I returned from my 10th trip to Thailand 2 days ago. As usual, it has had a dramatic effect on my life. I've noticed that each and every trip to Thailand is a unique experience, never being the same as the previous trips.

He Clinic Bangkok

I have, of course, dabbled in the bar / massage scene and taken the girls home from there. But I have tried my best to take Stick's advice and not become involved emotionally with these girls. Because I can SO easily become emotionally involved, I actually stayed away from the bar scene after my first few days there this trip. I checked out a few spots mentioned by Stick (Cowboy and Soi 33). More on these spots later. Instead of the bar scene, my approach to Thailand has usually been one of attempting to meet the non bar girls in hopes of finding a kind hearted, beautiful, young, appreciative, great partner for life.

Earlier this year on a visit to Bangkok I met this beautiful hotel worker (we'll call her Nit). We have kept in touch for almost one year by phone. I saw her again on this trip and was even invited to her humble home to meet her mother. Although I am tempted to fall for her physical beauty and sweet mannerisms, I began to notice her extreme jealousy and lack of trust of me on this trip. Being in Thailand is mesmerizing. It takes a while after being back in Farangland to process the experience. I have started to wonder if she mistrusts ME so much, because SHE herself may be so untrustworthy??? She sees 'another woman' in everything! If I'm late, if I went to eat, to shop, or wasn't in my room…… it is always assumed that I was with another woman. I know Thailand teaches the women there that men all fool around because of the availability, BUT… I started thinking that often in Farangland, when someone 'protesteth too much', that person is usually the guilty one. So, I've begun to wonder about how sweet and innocent she may really be. It's beginning to seem that she may not care so much for ME as she cares about the chance of LIVING IN FARANGLAND (isn't this the same as a bar girl?…. in it for what she can get out of it?) She doesn't see me off to the airport, she didn't take any time off work. I've seen her lie to her employer and parents about her whereabouts, … but yet she is also not afraid to hold my hand in public or afraid to be seen with a Farang anywhere we go??? Sincere or not??? (She did however try to keep my visit to her neighbourhood undercover as much as possible, to avoid letting neighbours see me with her). She also gave me some insight into Thai thinking (confirmed by Stick). One day we discussed priorities in life. I told her mine, explaining that after God, my woman would be next in line. She said, "Really? Not for me. For me it's:
1) Parents
2) God (Buddha)
3) Herself
everything else follows"…(ie: her man didn't even make the LIST!) So, when it comes to helping parents, or you… who do you think will win? Think she might even marry you… just to help out her parents..?? Something to consider.

On this trip to Bangkok I noticed, and became aware like never before, HOW MANY working girls (prostitutes) there really ARE there! THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! I've read that at least 90% of the women in Thailand are not working girls (prostitutes)…. but where ARE they!? It is starting to seem that EVERYONE in Bangkok is available for a few baht ….or the bigger payoff…. (hopes of moving to Farangland).

Well, because I began to have my doubts about Nit's sincerity, I opened my eyes to the thousands of other beautiful, smiling, 'seemingly' non bar girls around town once again. I tend to check out places like malls for these girls, or office workers. One afternoon while strolling through one of Bangkok's high end department stores I met a beautiful Thai girl at the perfume counter. We'll call her Noy. She spoke little English, but we managed and exchanged business cards. She offered her mobile number as well without my asking :):) I visited again a few days later and asked her to go eat. She agreed to go, but not today. Tomorrow night after work. OK! We had a date! (Feeling guilty about two timing Nit… I couldn't control myself over going out with Noy). I arrive on time to meet her and soon find out that she has a car, 2 mobile phones and her own "condo". So, I ask of her parents. They live down south the father is apparently in construction (not sure at what level). She went to four years of college and dresses VERY well (i.e.; there is money somewhere… but where is it coming from??? Perfume girls can't make much here…???) Anyway, I believed she was a nice girl and a definite 9! on the 1-10 scale of beauty. We went to eat, had fun, laughed and had great chemistry for each other. She gave a soft, warm, sensual, beautiful good night kiss as she dropped me off. The next night, we went out again. This time we end up in my room, kissing passionately, but I plan to do nothing more as she is a 'nice ' girl whom I would like to pursue. She is VERY sensual, her sight, her sounds, her moves…. and before long she offers to "take care of me". Not being exactly sure where she is going with this, I take it easy and remain kissing only. Before long she made it clear that she wanted to kiss more than my lips and …. she orally…. "took care of me" in the best way I may have ever seen. Well, as great as that is…. you and I know that at that point her status must change. Your heart has to admit that she is not as innocent as you thought. She repeated her technique of "taking care of me" on a few more dates before I left BKK, but she was not willing to go all the way with me. I didn't push the issue. After all, I was already "Taken care of ". Through all of this, she gets many mobile phone calls (Thai men at times) and starts to tell me how much she loves me etc etc. and how much she loves Farangland (hmmmm???). She was once 2 hours late picking me up for a date (due to traffic??) I soon must ask myself… "is this a working girl (prostitute) who has a day job 72 hours per week?? Or is she a high class working girl for the Thai men in the evenings?? Or is she just working ME quick to capture my heart in hopes of getting to Farangland someday… or?????? WHAT IS THIS?!! She was much too smooth, too knowledgeable…. After her first total body oral massage, she quickly let me know that she had seen that procedure on a farang porno tape that she watched once, to "learn" what to do. (ya… right..) (i.e.: she's never done this before).

So, now I'm all confused. When I'm out at the mall or business office in Bangkok…. are most of the girls available in this same way? Is the hope of Farangland on ALL of their minds?? Can there be any hope of sincere intentions of love for YOU, just for who YOU are, with ANY girl in Thailand? Is it best to not get emotionally involved with ANY Thai girl, even the seemingly nice ones???

As usual, Thailand has played a trip on my mind. While in Bangkok, I decided to take none of them too seriously because their intentions are questionable… BUT THEN I get back to Farangland, and after 2 days I begin to miss all the female beauties that Thailand has to offer. Their smiles, warmth, sensuality, sense of humour and availability. A true dilemma… try to find sincere love in Farangland with an Asian woman… or… deal with the many barriers of finding a Thailand true love…?? Or… are women just WOMEN no matter where you look?

A few side notes:

1). As Stick says, watch out for that hotel front desk! They ARE talking about who you come and go with and how many you come and go with… Especially if the girls are very attractive and look like non bar girls! It would be very easy for a Thai girl to get some info on you.

2). I checked out the upper class, "Soi 33" as recommended by Stick. It was as he said. It seems great, as do the girls , but on closer inspection they are the same girls as elsewhere, with a higher price tag. I personally found Soi Cowboy disappointing and uninteresting.

3). Is it just me, or does the pollution in Bangkok just tear your body UP!? I get so tired there! It's enough to make me consider not going! Does one get used to it later and adapt?

4) Have you ever noticed that single Thai female students in Farangland have very little interest in us Farangs while here in Farangland? Nor do any Thai girls in Thailand who already have a Visa and a way to travel to Farangland… (hmmmm?)

Stickman says:

You poor sod, you. You have well and truly caught Stickman's cynicism disease. I have to admit that it always seems that whenever I'm looking for a girl for something serious they all but disappear and when I'm not, they all throw themselves at me… Anyway, finding love in Thailand isn't easy and to improve the odds, you really need an extended stay in the Kingdom. It's hard to meet a "nice" girl when on holiday…but then it can be difficult to meet a nice one living here too. Good luck!